I have a show coming up this weekend at an italian festival. I will be bringing my 3 feature puppets:

Larry (lounge singer) who will be doing some sinatra and a few italian songs.

Oscar (my monkey - who i have outfitted to look like a organ grinder monkey)

Sandy (my white cockatoo)

Anyway... I was just wondering if anyone might have any suggestions on jokes or puns for the show (without offending the italian audience)

I love and appreciate all the input you all give.

I grew up in an immigrant mining down and the Irish kid knew when to use a north or a south Italian expletive. Italians tell the best jokes about themselves as do the Irish. Yet doing them in a mixed public venue...forgedda about it!
I hope this does not offend you but at Vent Haven a major comic said doing comedy for major American company shareholder meetings usually involves a contract which prohibits 25 topics. If you doubt this try jokes about home schooling or socialist health care.
Yet I am offended by the dead terrorist character and believe it could get one hurt at certain clubs. I have said this in public at Vent Haven.
The way we are being taught comedy this month is to riff off a person who is of much higher stature..never one below you. Well this should get some comments.Ron

Riff off the higher status personae? I've got it made! I'm a Hoosier! I can talk about anybody!

There is a rule of thumb in decorating. If you can't match a color exactly, don't try. Get something that is obviously different. Example: Need to repaint one wall, but can't quite match the other three? Go with a complimentary color that makes that wall stand out.

The same is true for venues where your audiences knows more jokes about the subject than you. I would never go to a golf club and try to tell golf jokes. Do your regular material and steer clear of Italian references. (Except for perhaps the wonderful food!) Kapiche?

Thats pretty much what I was planning to do, Thanks Tony for the assurance! I didn't want to open mouth and look like a pasta fazool.

Dale, if you're doing a Fator with Italian songs then why not do some funny, folk wedding songs which one hears at the good Italian weddings.
I can't remember them since I left the area in the summer of '69.
Funny, Mary Hopkins and her beautiful voice was what I heard on CHUM Radio first as my buddy Wild West and I entered Toronto and drove my Austin sedan with a Rambler engine, a truck steering wheel and two coat hangers(gear shifters) in the floor and a ball peen hammer to complete the shifts. The summer of '68 was the music summer but '69 was the happenings. My, what a fine time to be a young rock jock on the move to the big city. Funny I got out of radio and stayed out for two years until the brain fairy returned my discipline.Ron

We went a walking one rainy day and we brought along our spunky skunky STINKY to talk to the kids, but as we were walking it rained on us so Spunky Skunky put up such a fuss. The rain kept coming it wouldn't stop it rained so much we needed a mop no mop was to be had as we walked along so spunky skunky sang her song I'm spunky skunky and I sing this song If you want a dry puppet call AX all day long.

The San Genaro Feast was great we had to go back 2 or 3 times to hit it just right. It kept raining we finally made it through the intire festival we ate at many of the booths, the kids loved the Axtell Skunk they thought she was cute. They kept asking her where she was from and she replied Okachobee, of course they didn't know where that was so she would say a camper outside of the bronx and that got a laugh from the parents... I must have gained 10 pounds those 3 days but everyone had a wonderful time. FUN FUN FUN

When there is food nearby I am often asked (usually by adults) if the puppet would like some food as well. I always say, "No. He's already stuffed."

Actualy, Tony, your figure refuses food because she was once thin as a toothpick, but now she's as broad as a beam....and wants to whittle herself back to her original weight...

Santa, I reply to that with an OLD joke:

When I married her she had an hourglass figure. Now she looks more like Big Ben.

Thanks everyone for the input!! The show went great!! When I first hit the stage I got the expected response of curiosity as people wondered what a blonde haired blue eyed guy was doing on the performance stage.... then when I pulled out the first puppet and started to lead into the set, people started to get figgity.... but once I went into the songs and puppet changes the show came alive. Another wonderful show!! Thanks again all who tossed me ideas and warnings!

P.S. Ax, the new black crow arrived!! I didn't have a chance to put him in to this show, but I did use him for walk around and will be using him for a show next month.. Thanks again!!

Dale

Great to hear about your wonderful show!   Now that's something to "crow about"! 

Ax

Forget about the show! I want to hear about the food! I can't imagine getting invited to an Italian festival! I'd definitely arrive hungry!

Well, there'd be tonnes of calamari. And I also remember the pieces of dough which were deep fried and rolled in icing sugar(the word angels was in the name). Of course, we had the same dessert at all the Polish weddings. And heaps of mussels done in a simple tomato sauce and breads to expire for! That was one thing about living in an immigrant town..we were exposed to foods which did not require ketchup or Cheez Whiz.

Forget about all this I want to know if we are near or close to the answer to the puzzle, what is the difference between close and near? Dose somebody know a word detective? If not I could be arrested for slandering the english language

OK.... LETS JUST SAY THAT AFTER THE SHOW, THE PUPPETS WERE NOT THE ONLY ONES STUFFED!!!

CALAMARI, PASTA BARS, MEATBALL SUBS, SAUSAGE AND PEPPERS, PIZZA, FRIED DOUGH, TOMATO PIE, GREENS, PASTS FAGIOLI, CHICKEN RIGGIES, ANTIPASTO, ROLLATINI, AND SO MUCH MORE. OTHER THEN MYSELF THERE WERE PERFORMANCES BY GUY FIERI, JOE PISCOPO, JIMMY CAVALLO, FRANCIS ANTHONY, AND MORE.

IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE AND LOTS OF FUN!!!