We don't often hear from teachers, or principals, after a show, other than a quick comment. But when they do take the time to speak we can learn a tremendous amount from them. I have heard these over the years and grown from them.

"You picked more boys than girls." (Now I alternate boys and girls and mix up grade levels.)
"The kids on the left couldn't see your drawing." (Now I walk to the right side so I can draw and tilt the magic drawing board without showing the back of it.)
"We don't tell them to sit on their bottoms." (I use criss-cross applesauce. ONLY with younger elementary.)

"You and your bear had the same voice." (OUCH! I switched his voice to a really gravelly one.)
"You mostly picked cute kids." (I started asking for only ugly kids to raise their hands. (Just kidding.) But I do go out of my way to pick someone who probably isn't picked often and comment on their nice smile, or hair, or new shirt or shoes.)

The point here is that we are used to hearing great comments, but when someone cares enough to offer constructive criticism we should thank them and see how to make our show better.

--Two university degrees and I'm taking hot dog orders?
--At least on parents' night I know why the kid's the way she is. Guy's only tiptoed through the fountain of knowledge.
--You did sign a release that at our school your child MUST participate in Christian teachings. So why are you so excited that we're testing exorcism on you?
--I think I'll tell her that she should look at home schooling like the Californians do.
--I must remember to crate a party list for when i tell them Grafadnik is transferring to the Catholic system.
--Okay, that's number 1000 to tell me I am LUCKY to work 9 to 3 and have summers off. Remember on 1000 I said I'd tell the person I make 80 grand a year and sympathize that they married a poor guy.
--This nice tan? Oh I started it in Portugual this March and worked on it all summer. You're so kind to support me with your taxes.
-Dang, I wish that dummy puppeteer would work with the gym lights on. I have to mark a lot of papers.
Sorry Tony but my new monologue is going to be about teachers and you pushed the ignitor. Ron

Loved reading this, Ron!

I was recently at a school where one of the teachers (an acquainatance) is also a performer. He said that he hates to see teachers grading papers while the assembly is going on. I told him that I didn't prefer it but I didn't mind it. (I RARELY see it.)

The difference is that he's single and I'm not so I think that every minute they can spend grading papers at school is a minute more they get with their kids at home.

Sorry for the spelling of acquaintance above. Just say friend.

I just took my kids to see "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs." Personally, I expected it to be in poor taste, underdone, and lacking any spice, but it was a very good movie.

In the movie there was a monkey who wore a thought transmitter. The "voice" came from a speaker on his chest connected to a headband with electrodes. I thought, "What a great idea for a ventriloquist puppet." You could bring one out who doesn't want to get into an argument, or is giving you the silent treatment. But you reach over and turn on the thought transmitter and suddenly the puppet's voice is coming out without the puppet's mouth moving. And the thoughts could be hilarious!

This would especially work for magicians who aren't ventriloquists OR puppeteers. It would work best with an Amazing Ape puppet so they would think of the monkey in the movie, but it could really work with any puppet, particularly an animal.

Tony,while I'm at it. How are good vents(not like me) using the Axtell remote puppet? Be a killer in a magic show. Ron

If Steve would give me a remote control vent I could answer your question much better... BUT just brainstorming I would think it could be used as...
A narrator for a play
Someone to say your name "Wow, folks! I was speechless during his whole performance! Let's hear it for Tony Borders!"
Someone to sing while you play an instrument.
Pre-show show. "Psst. Hey, folks! The show is going to start in just a few minutes. Please turn off your cell phones and bring money to the front of the stage."

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