Hi all can someone assist here I just got started with a skunk I got from AX I am looking for some help with some skunk jokes for the kids grade k-4 Can anyone assist...Thanx

S: I came home the other day and my wife was cooking dinner. I said, "What's that horrible smell?"
Vent: What was it?
S: Sauerkraut! My favorite!
Vent: Do you have any other favorite foods?
S: I like Kim Chee. And limburger cheese. And sour milk.
Vent: Whoa! I'd have to wear a nose plug to eat at your house.

S: Can I ask you a question?
Vent: Sure.
S: Does this vertical stripe make me look fat?
Vent: I don't think so.
S: I'm thinking of changing to horizontal stripes, but I don't want everyone to think I'm a zebra.

Vent: What's black and white and red all over?
S: (loudly) That's an old joke! It's an ANGRY SKUNK!
Vent: I was going to say, a book! The pages are black and white and it is READ all over!
S: Oh. Sorry.

Vent: Do you always see things in black and white?

S: Sometimes I wear camouflage.
Vent: What do you wear for camouflage?
S: A referee shirt.

S: I need to get glasses.
Vent: Why is that?
S: I'm nearsighted! The other day I fell in love with a zebra!

S: Can I tell you something personal?
Vent: Sure.
S: I hate to say this, but your breath stinks! (Then you can go into the routine where you brush your teeth while the puppet sings a song. The best song would be "You take my breath away.")

S: I like listening to music.
Vent: What are some of your favorite songs?
S: "You take my breath away"
Vent: That's a good one.
S: All Odor the World
Vent: I don't know that one.

Vent: What is that smell?
S: I'm wearing toilet water. (or Eau de toilette) (Help me out, Ron)
Vent: We call it perfume nowadays.
S: Really?
Vent: Our grandparents use to call it toilet water.
S: Well, I saw the dog drinking some perfume yesterday.

Sorry, N'Jay. I was aiming at an older audience. Try these.

Vent: So how exactly do you spray someone?
S: We walk on our front paws and put our back legs and tail in the air. Then we take aim and spray.
Vent: Wow! You can walk on your front paws? How did you learn to do that?
S: In gym-nasties.
Vent: I think you mean gymnastics.
S: Not when we spray!

Vent: But don't you only spray to protect yourself?
S: Oh, no! We spray to find a boyfriend or girlfriend too! We really like the smell!
Vent: You LIKE the smell?
S: It's an acquired taste. (ask the kids) What do you like to smell? (whatever they say the skunk goes EWWW! That sounds disgusting!)

Vent: Are there any animals that you're afraid of?
S: Sure! I get scared if a dog is sick and has a stuffed up nose!(for adults "a sinus infection")

S: I'm going to be in a movie!
Vent: Really? Which one?
S: They're redoing Peter Pan. It will be all animals. I have one of the lead roles!
Vent: Are you Peter Pan?
S: No.
Vent: Captain Hook?
S: No.
Vent; One of the lost boys?
S: No.
Vent: Wendy?
S: No.
Vent: Who will you be?
S: I'll be Stinkerbell!

Tony I want to buy into your brain...you are the cleverish person I have yet to meet in this...the sex life of a skunk great topic to talk about with children, (I think it would work better with adults) what do you mean spray to attract a boy friend or girlfriend...you know that will lead us into that topic... how about something like below?

Mr. Jay: Tony How do you introduce the skunk hi my name is Mr.Jay and this is my friend ToRipe ToCare and we have a few things we'd like to talk about...

Toripe: Yeah such as my name
Mr. Jay: Whats wrong with your name
Topipe: How would you feel if you went around with a name like TORIPE????
Mr.Jay I guess you have a point there (looking at my head)..but remember that you have to protect yourself and the way you do that is by your odor.
Toripe: Odor, that reminds me, Mr Uncle Stinky had a job in a court.
Mr. Jay: He Did
Toripe: When the judge said order in the court
Mr. Jay: Oh no your not going to tell us here he showed up and sprayed.
Toripe: No I'm not going to tell you that
Mr. Jay: Oh great I thought for a moment....
Toripe: you already told them. ect...ect...ect...

Introduce him as the King of the Forest. Do a really big build up so the audience will expect a bear or a lion and out comes... a skunk! You start off with a surprise and a laugh, then you launch into your dialog.

Whoa, only teachers who taught in Korea who kim chee. it's not standard Hoosier fare.

Steve love the intro idea Tony how can we get the skunk into twas the night before christmas or chanuka...
Hi Boys and Girls want to introduce you to one of the most feared animals from the forest, other animals run from him when he is near, does anyone know who he is??? He is not as big as an elephant but he can scare an elephant when he gets mad, does anyone have a guess....well he smells horable,well everyone guessed lets meet my new friend Stinky the skunk.....

Hey! don't be puttin' down kimchi -- either the spring or winter version -- it's great food. Beats rice and nuc muam...