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Childrens Hospitals Routines

July 22 2011 at 6:42 PM
N J 
from IP address

I am at wits end I need some help and would appreciate anyone's input. I am to do a childrens hospital, both walk around and stage...and would appreciate a few jokes to do while walking the wards as well as a 5-8 minute routine regarding kids in hospitals during the holidays as well as kids in hospitals for any other reason. This is a first time hospital situation for me and want to make it work...I have various Axtells as well as a huge white bear and purplish Gorilla, Willie the Kid, A rabbit, The Chimp, Skunk, ect...Can you make the routine fit any character? Thank you.

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Tony Borders

can't help

July 23 2011, 9:03 PM 

I suggest doing your regular routines and not taking more than two puppets, or one and some magic.

I can't help write anything as I have a leaky radiator and 14 shows in the next 7 days!

Good luck.

Tony Borders


July 24 2011, 3:35 AM 

I meant to say that my CAR has a leaky radiator! I'm fine.


You have a leaky radiator

July 24 2011, 11:14 AM 

Hope your radiator works out its leak..My normal routine is more of a party type which means I do some magic tricks, some fun and games but I think a storytelling bit using one of my charactera might work well here, I do Have a few Hospital and doctor jokes for kids to use for my walk around. I could have goldilocks having to go to the hospital because she ate too much of the bears parridge,and got a terrible tummy ache, after eating it she went to sit down in the three chairs and when she sat in the baby bears chair she broke it and really felt awful so she found her way to the bedroom fell asleep the bears came home went through the routine with some jokes thrown in till they worked their way to their bedroom and found goldilocks sick in the baby bears bed and had to drive her all the way toi the local hospital where she recovered and never returned to the bears house, but she did send a letter of thank you for being so kind, after what she did to their furniture after eating that nasty parradge...of course in a dialog/routine. What do you think?



July 25 2011, 10:32 AM 

After giving it some thought, if anyone else is needing a hospital walk around routine, I have put together many jokes as well as a routine where I have Justine in a lab coat with stet and explain to him I have this ailment and that ailment and he prescribes various rememdies, which are all funny one liners.N J: I went to see a doctor the other day and asked him for a remedy for getting pains in my eye when I drink Tea... he told me to take the spoon out first, I told him i need a second opinion, so he sent me to you, what can I do... J: Drink coffee...

Tony Borders

doctor jokes

July 25 2011, 7:54 PM 

Doctor jokes
February 18 2011 at 4:58 PM Tony Borders
from IP address

These aren't all for kids. But enjoy. (from an earlier post)


P: (patient)
D: (doctor)

P: Is there a doctor in the house?
D: What seems to be the trouble?
P: Are you a doctor?
D: Let's just say that I like to play golf and most of my coats are white.
P: Do you work with sick people?
D: Sure! Doesn't everybody?
P: Well, I've been feeling poorly lately.
D: You look a little poorly.
P: Are you sure you're a doctor?
D: Open your mouth and say, "Ah" and I can tell you what's wrong with you.
P: Aaaaah.
D: You have bad breath! Open again.
P: Aaaaah.
D: (Looks down in mouth.) You need to cut your toenails.
P: What's wrong with me, doc?
D: You sir, are getting younger.
P: Younger?
D: Yes.
P: How can I be getting younger?
D: When you're born you have no teeth and very little hair. You've lost your teeth and you're losing your hair.
P: I think you're a quack.
D: I do fly south for the winter. Let me ask you some questions. Do you feel any pain?
P: Yes, doctor. It hurts when I do this. (move head from side to side)
D: Then don't do that. Have you ever been in the hospital?
P: Yes. When I was born.
D: That doesn't count. Any other time?
P: Oh, yes. Once I broke my arm in three places.
D: Well, stay out of those places! Now let's see about your general health. Do you take vitamins?
P: Yes. I take a daily vitamin every week or so.
D: How about exercise?
P: I plan to see an exercist.
D: Do you have a firm basis for a walking exercise?
P: Yes. The sidewalk.
D: Well, keep up the good work. Soon you'll be faster than a speeding building! Able to leap tall bullets in a single bound! More powerful than a locomotive!

Addendum: Here are some of my favorite old doctor jokes:

D: I'm afraid this disease is terminal.
P: How much time do I have?
D: How much money have you got?


D: I'm afraid you'll be in my care daily for the next 3 months.
P: But that will take half of my life savings!
D: You'll be here for 6 months.

P: Doctor, how much longer do I have?
D: 10..
P: Ten? Ten what? Years, months?
D: 9, 8, 7, 6...

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