B>For the lovelorn, the passionate and the romantics of PNG, this is Wantok Lovers, a pngscape.com site.
If you are a romantic, have a crush, or have a question to do with love, matters of the heart and matters of a more ....ahem....passionate nature, this board is for you. If you want to make romantic
contacts for yourself, then you should go to the Wantokz Romantic Personals board. No personals will be allowed on this board.
Just be polite, mature and show sensitivity (eg. no cavemen are welcome here).
The question is, what motivates them to marry at the first place? Is is love or is it something else, money? lust? etc.
Now to the crunch of the matter. Marriages start off with two young man and woman falling in love. The first time they meet each other, they want to be there forever, they want to remain with each other for longer. They depart with a sad heart, the guy yearning to be close to his girl again and the girl yearning to be close to her man. During this period, all they think and dream of is their lover. They count down the days and hours before they meet each other again and their heart starts to beat faster at the sight of each other.
They get married and the first year seems so sweet, the guy wants to get off work quickly and be with his wife and the wife likewise. As the belly of the lady starts to bulge with pregnancy, the ladies emotions change. Pregancy brings in a bit of strain on the lady and so she can not respond to the mans advances. The man being used to a certain type of response from his wife tends to feel being rejected. He does not know and understand the emotional changes his wife is going through as a result a dent start to appear in the relationship. As time goes on, the lady gives birth to their child and she spends more time caring for the child than her husbands needs. This is a new thing for the husband who is used to having all the attention from his wife. Slowly the gap widens and the husband tends to feel neglected by his wife.
The wife on the other hand feels she has another responsibility added on to her life with the child and she spends more time with the child. As the gap widens between the husband and the wife, the husband wanting to feel loved again and want to satisfy that sexual urge tend to look for other means, by engaing in extra marital affairs.
Now, the mistake is, mis-understanding between the husband and the wife. The wife thinking that the husband should understand that now they have a child and she has more responsibilities, while the man thinking that his wife should understand his needs. A lot of marriage fail because of such an attitude. Both havent grown matured in their relationship. Maturity sets in when the husband understands his wifes feelings and emotions, while the wife is able to understand her husbands needs and emotions. This can only happen through constant communication, man being part of and partial of his wifes pregancy period and taking more responsibilites to take care of her and during child birth he bing very close to his wife to bring up the child.
Most customs in PNG tend to stereotype woman as the child bearer and should take care of the child when the husband is the providor of the family and does not have to baby sit or take care of the child. This mentality is the major cause of all the problems of adultery. Making woman pregnant and the man goes about trying to satisfy his sexual urges on someone else. If the man is able to stay close to his wife during pregancy and the birth of child and upbringing of the kid, i believe trust will always be there between the husband and the wife and they have a beautiful family.