I have been going out with this gurl younger than me for over a year. Everything was fine and we made plans to live together ...she is pregnant.
She never wanted me to meet her relatives and friends and parents. Made several attempts and went close to where she lives and she turned out furious several times. And only recently she moved away from the suburb where she lived (because I made attempts to visit her there) to another suburb where she now lives with her cousin.
She then drops da bomb .... we cannot be together coz she has someone else. I am very certain the baby is mine. But how could she be hanging out with another guy when she is pregnant by me.
I jes feel like dying ....

Advice please

She used you. She wasn't yours and its not your baby.

Your bag with somebody else's shopping, sorry mate just move on

My friend stop wasting your time with her and move on. Some Ladies are usually like that. They make decision based on emotion rather than use logic. I bet you that the fellow who bagged her will dump her sooner and she will try running back to you.

Cheers

PB

'

all i can say is "sem pasin" ..when shes showing those signs of recentment , you must know that she clearly doesnt want you as a potential partner but someone as a pumping doll ! just my views no offence



Dr William

Mate if the baby was yours, why would she take it to another man? Who
Would honeslty want to father another mans child? Mate 4get her and move on.....

Thank you all for advice - it helps. Thanks again

Yeah bro..
U desrve better than what she's giving yu..Go fishing, there's plenti fish in the sea..

Bro,

go get check at the STD/HIV clinic.

She may have your baby but may have left you a parting gift......

I'm sure you'll know what to do when you find out the result!!!!!!!!!

Thanks pal ... I had my test 5 months ago but I shall do again. If the result id positive i shall sue hr and her man and they will go to jail. Plus I will go on ART ... thanks again.

U are worth much better than her Man...If she has chose to be with another guy and have the baby.. Then let her go and do it, cause she will live to regret it for sure..She will pay a price higher than U think..U will find someone who loves U for U and not what U can give her, and trust me that is the kind of love its all about. If U need someone to talk to I am here...Been where U are only I am the woman the man left behind for another woman..I know it hurts Ur heart, but later down the road U will come out ahead, and feel much better that U didn't let her get away with useing U more...I wish U luck and Peace
Burgundy

Thanks Burgundy,

Its just not fair that sum of us have to experience situations like that but thats life ... makes us strong and prepare us for other encounters. Am surely lettin her go but I feel sorry for my baby ... hes jest so innocent and I will be unable to give him the love expected from a father. I only hope that the mum knows wot she's doing.

WH

aya wari ! wari wari wari

I hope she does know how to care for the child, Are U sure the baby is Ur's tho...Bro It would be better if U knew that the baby was really Ur's or not.. I feel for U in this situation, I feel like U are a very caring person, and that makes it very bad, I know it hurts, but U will be so much better off with someone that truley loves U...If the baby is Ur's ...One day he or She will look U up..U can still have visitation rights to Ur child ..If it is ur's..She can't stop U from that U know..So just hang in there and if U need to talk I am here..
Good Luck Bro
Burgundy

Thanks, m positive beyond reasonable doubt the baby's mine - due to circumstances that prevailed at that time we first met and the courtship.
Thanks for the advice. Yes the baby shall luk me up later, it happens in many occasions but I dont want him to feel I neglected him and the mum. I will work sumthin out so to provide for him and the mother. Until the mum setles with sumone nice. Just found out the mum's man is her unemployed mate and she has been buyin the guys love with the things I gave her. Incredible.
But sure Burgundy, ur sound like a nice person who can give lots of good advice.

Worried heart... I just care so much for people that are hurting..I know alot about pain..in all kinds of ways..been there..It's just that sometimes we are to close to situations of Our own ,and Our heart gets in the way of clear thinking,that makes it where we can't see things clearly..Someone who has been there,or looking in from the outside can try and help,cause it's not happening to them at the time so they have a clearer view of what can happen.. or they have been where U are and know what will likely happen..These people can help U and many others like U and I..I do hope U and the Mum can come to a understanding that the baby needs his/her Father, as well as he/she needs his/her Mum.My prayers and hopes are with U Man..Just hang in there..Ur not alone in this world..Ty for the compliment also, but, I am just a person that has been hurt too, just trying to help...
Peace and Hope my Friend
Burgundy

Thanks Burgundy,

Yurs is a caring heart. Its a gurl, I have a baby daughter. The mum lied to me it was a boy. They didn't tel me when they went to hospital. I sumhow went to hosp and check the registry of pregnant mums dat went in to deliver. And there they were ... and I got her pictures hehehe .... she jest like me ... I wont let go off her. My perspective of the mum changed too but she has to decide wot she wants to do ... but I wont let my baby daughter go anywhere. I'm working on it.They're still living away from me in their hideout - a place I don't know.

Worried Heart
I am so happy U got pictures of Ur daughter, also I am proud of U.. U are going to be just fine..U know down the road the Mum will remember what she had that U brought into her life,everytime she looks at Ur daughter she will always see U in her, that is just the way life goes..U keep working to get visitation rights to Ur daughter..She will always be in ur heart, Children are God's special gifts to Us..Hang in there my friend..I am with ya on this one..Ty for the kind compliments, my heart is soft and I feel for those people that really hurt and have problems..I do care about Ur situation..U can always talk to me...Good luck
God Bless
Burgundy

Morning Burgundy,

Weekend was bad for me for I found out the truth. The so called Christian parents had sumone in their house whom they wanted my baby's mum to marry. While she was with me, she also lived in their house with the parents. But she had arguments with parents over this (I think) and left. So we all don't know where she lives now with the baby. I wish I was God to find out where she is coz I am so worried for my baby's health and their livelihood. I wanna find them, but I dont know how ....
A sister helped me by contacting the girls mum and she revealed everything to her.
The also wanted to find out who the baby's real dad is because the boy living with them is going nuts. But she is my daughter i know coz she has my features.
I gave the parents the piece of my mind last night ... not sure if they are sorry or proud of the problems they caused for my baby and mum.
I am lost and don't know where to go ....

Worried Heart

I have never met a PNG man yet who is really truely concerned for his kids.
You only want her coz its a girl and your thinking about bride prais and what you can sell her for later.
What do you really think you could offer her or her mum?
If your so caring, why has she run off with this other bloke.
Be honest. Move on. Learn from the experience

Anon,

Frankly, I dont care about bride price. I make out okay - sufficient to sustain my livelihood and support by family.
I gave her everything she ever wanted, fact I listened to her (the mum) more than anyone. But i guess I have no clue as to where I went wrong.

1st: I would say to Anonymous...That U don't know this man...No One man is like another in any country...Every man is different, And Anonymous seems to think all PNGean men are the same(Their Not)...Not all men are bad like U are saying they are.
2nd:Maybe they do pay bride price and some men sell them off, but like I just said not all men are like that...
3rd:How do U know that this man wouldn't just love to have his daughter with him, to love her ,support her,care for her, and protect her...I say that is judgeing this man b4 U know him...
4th:U said the Mum of this child might have ran to another man cause this Worried Heart wasn't good to her...Same as saying he is quilty..when U don't know...Not all PNgean men are bad, and not only PNgean men, but all men ...Some men are bad yes I agree, but I don't believe when a person ask for help that we just come in here and talk bad about him...I do feel badly for his situatiion..I am his friend and will talk to him to lift him up , give him some support..I would do that for anyone in pain...Think about it anonymous...Worried Heart U just hang in there..I am with ya bro...
Ur Friend
Burgundy

Thanks, sum people just dont care others.
Well they came to see me yesterday and we had a long chat. It was lovely to see my babies. But a not certain of what their plans are. One one side they give me hints dat they like being with me ... but perhaps they are still worried of what my reaction would be after they gave me the treatment ... we will be meeting again so I will just wait and see.

Thanks
WH

Worried heart
I hope it all works out good for ya, I am with ya on it man...If U ever want 2 talk about it, or just need a friend, e-mail me at Hippie_Chic5370@yahoo.com.....U have a friend here bro
Take care
Burgundy

I shall try and mail ... proly from my gmail account.

Bata oh, u trupla mangi ya. Just keep on doing the good you know and one of these days, things will turn out good for you.

I've met very few PNG men like you and your character must surely be applauded bro. Keep up the good virtues in you and continue to reach out to your child and she will draw to you of her own will or nature will work in your favor, that's for sure!

Wanbel na sta wande u bata ...

Vellas

Its Gods will if he want me to have my baby he will bring her to me ... if he decides i will be a lousy father den he is the boss. I will jus treasure her (my baby) and her lovely mum of the good times we had together.
I uploaded the pictures on Hi5 just so that I wont lose them. And I promise to run a half-page or full-page advert on her birthday each year on the daily papers and place a small message telling them I still love them no matter what. Already designed the advert and filed it away.

WH

IT'S NOT YOUR BABY! NOW FACE IT

(ANONYMOUS)Why are U being so mean to this man for?
How do U know it's not His child? Was U there? Do U personally know this man? Why can't U open Ur heart, and just try to comfort people when their down? What if this situation was U here? Wouldn't U want someone to put their hand down and help pull U up,to encourage U?This is what I have been talkin about,People need each others kindsness, support,comfort, and help thru troubles, not pushing them down further...
I do try not to be mean on here,but this could be any of Us in his situation, just think about it(Anonymous)
(To Worried Heart): Man just keep the faith, keep Ur head up, some of us are here with ya, trying to encourage U, Just listen to the positive side, not negative people, who don't seem to care or understand..Stand Tall My Friend, Ur not alone...
God Bless U
Burgundy

Of course the baby is yours and there is no other man in her life, she is giving up the baby for adoption to her beloved aunt and uncle who are unable to have one of their own. She loves you and her heart is breaking but she has to do what she is doing therefore you will be denied.

Keep your distance until baby is born, get a court order and get a DNA test done from one of the private clinics. Tusa Medical Centre in Lae has such facilities, check your local clinics.

Don't push it now, you will only get burnt.

Thanks Rait-Lewa,

She gave me a hint sometime ago but I didnt take it serious. I would have understood if she had mentioned it to me and we should have worked sumthing out. Its unfair on me as the baby's father. That gives me the strength and I now know what to do.
Yes I tried to do things before she delivered and I got burnt (almost) ... high blood pressure. Things arent meant to be like this .... I am going to start publishing posters of me and my baby and mum on baby's birthday each year just to remind the baby that she has a father somewhere.

Love you all for your support.
Thanks Rait Lewa and Burgundy

Am also concerned that the new boyfren or hubby is texin me every night using Digicel's 1toea tex offer and bothering me. I fill like charging them for trickery and extortion by false pretense - but in doing so I might give my baby's mum hell.
Just give me some ideas on wot to do and I will take it from there.

This the stupidest discussion I have ever read in the last few years on PNGScape. Very subnormal behavior of this person who claims to be straight. Or is it this woman who is extremely intellectually challenged.
Look, how could a normal hu-man, go to the hospital to look for mum and daughter when she rejects him. Not only that,she is watched over like an eagle by her new lover. I do not see she see the person wif any feelings at all here. Shiat.... I think your response would be.... Oh you sick... you do not understand.. you have no feelings bla ble ble. Yes I am normal.

1st: I would say to Anonymous(Who wouldn't leave his I.D...That U don't know this man...No One man is like another in any country...Every man is different, And Anonymous seems to think all PNGean men are the same(Their Not)...Not all men are bad like U are saying they are.
2nd:Maybe they do pay bride price and some men sell them off, but like I just said not all men are like that...
3rd:How do U know that this man wouldn't just love to have his daughter with him, to love her ,support her,care for her, and protect her...I say that is judgeing this man b4 U know him...
4th:U said What could Worried Heart give the childs Mum? Well looks like he was trying to give her Love and care for her, but she wanted someone else ...After all she ran off, not Him..Same as saying he is quilty of not wanting to care for her and the child..when U don't know...Not all PNGean men are bad, and not only PNGean men, but all men ...Some men are bad yes I agree, but I don't believe when a person ask for help that we just come in here and talk bad about him...I do feel badly for his situatiion..I am his friend and will talk to him to lift him up , give him some support..I would do that for anyone in pain...Think about it anonymous...Worried Heart U just hang in there..I am with ya bro...
Ur Friend
Burgundy

I have never met a PNG man yet who is really truely concerned for his kids.
You only want her coz its a girl and your thinking about bride prais and what you can sell her for later.
What do you really think you could offer her or her mum?
If your so caring, why has she run off with this other bloke.
Be honest. Move on. Learn from the experience

Mate, thats cool and yes I do agree that my baby's mum is an intellect ... to the extent that she is unemployed @ present and her lover boy is also unemployed. Now that the supply-line is cut, you can only imagine how they live now. Welfare of the baby is important, hence, I have started a process to confirm the baby as mine and then apply for custody.
Thanks for your intelligent comments.

WH