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Does he care bout me as friend or more than that????

July 1 2010 at 7:42 AM
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Guilty friend 

heya!


In January 2008 i met this guy online PNG/UK and we have been friends ever since! But as time went by things kinda got awkward coz i realized that i was falling for him & i could tell that he was too! But i just hid my feelings and continued talking to him coz i didn't want to jeapordise our friendship. He is a kind, caring, loving, humble and omg adjectives fail to describe this MAN! oh not forgetting his killer looks but his personality tops it all.! I always felt free to talk to him about anything & i harldy talk to anyone bout the shytt that happens in ma life! However there's something about him that assures me that i can trust him. So everytime when i told him what was happening here at ma end he would encourage me and tell me that everything's gon be ok! and for some weird reason those word coming from him made me believe him! He is truely something! If for some reason i'm not happy with him, he can tell and tells me that he can feel that something isn't right and tells me to tell him n i try to hide it but he he won't stop until i tell him and omq he really knows how to handle a situation in a more matured way so things don't get out of hand. He always makes me happy when im down!happy.gif) gawshh he is truely something!! there were timess when temptations come ma way or if i want to do anything to harm maself coz of the **** that i go through with family and all, everytime when i think of him..man it gives me the strength to walk away from it! Coz we're both chritians he tells me i'm gon keep u in my prayers! That doesn't mean that we're perfect we're both young and at uni and life at uni can yes very challenging but we both try as much as possible to honest with each other. He would always ask if i was seeing anyone & i always said no but he always asked me that question everytime we spoke to each other. I kind of got tired of it so i told him if i'm seeing someone i will tell u! DEAL! but he still continued to ask! We both love music and apperntly have the same taste as well! So everytime we send each other songs, maan it's as if the words that we can't say to each other we use the songs to tell each other how we feel..! Another thing coz he's in the UK and im in Aus the time difference is something that we have to come to terms with! So, maaan he stays from 11pm to 5am (UK time) talking to me! i'll be like hey u need to get some sleep! he's like no everytime i talk to u it's like a breath of fresh air and u make me feel good! there are times when i just know i mean it's like a gutt feeling that tells me that he's gon be online and sure enough when i go online he's there waiting for me! We don't set times to talk to each other it's just that i know in my heart that he's waiting for me! i just don't know how to explain this but hope u get what i mean! Everytime we talked we always said that after we completed our degree at university we'd both get to meet each other and see what happens from then on.

Ok here's the thing! I fell pregnant last year to a guy tht goes to another uni but we met thru friends! and gave birth to a baby boi who isn't his! I was so devastated I hated myslef for what i did! I didn't know how to tell him meaning i was just soo afraid to tell him but i knew that i had to! We didn't talk in a while coz he he was busy with his exams so i emailed him telling that i had something really important to tell him! altho he had to study he alwayys tried to get in touch with me but couldn't as i never went online and ma phone was stolen so yea communication breakdown! I was 7 months when i found out that i was pregnant. It really came as a shock as i didn't have the symptoms of being pregnant! anyways so i gave birth and then i knew that i had to tell him now or never! so i went and emailed him and told him everything!
I knew in my heart that i didn't deserve someone who's as good as him, nd neither did deerve to be his friend! I felt soooo guilty! Anyways he replied a couple of days later asking how i was after i gave birth and bout the bub(if he was ok n all) i told him that we're both doing well. he told me that God has forgiven me n that everything happens for a reason! he was like no one is perfect we all make mistakes, who am i to judge u?seriously i broke down and cried! i kept telling myself that i didnt deserve him! i told him but it was like talking to a rock! he kept telling me that he didn't care whatever is done has been done. i told him ppl like stupid, selfish, etc didnt deserve him but he told me that God has forgiven me n its all that matters. i asked him why do u care soo much? he told me that he cares bout me me more than i think. he tells me that i am still me and that i am still amazing and just one mistake doesn't taint ma character! I was thinking to maself..mann! are u REAL? anyways recently we spoke and i didnt know wat to say but he knew that i was there and told me hey can we talk? i told him tat i had nothing to say as i was guilty coz i let my family down including him , i told him that i never meant to hurt anyone but he told me to stop it coz iv made a mistake and it's done! We can't change that!

Here's the thing i wana know if he loves me or is he just being a caring friend? Coz most guys in this situation would most definitely dump the girl coz of betrayal. He still cares bout me but after reading what i've said does he care bout me as just friends or more? I am totally in love with him. I have 2 men in ma life...one that im in love with and one that i have a kid with!
PLease help me out here! i really don't know what to do! I know that i don't deserve him! Is he in-love with or just loves me as a friend???
Please help me here!sad.gif(
Thanks!

 
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lamflaps mangi

Re: Does he care bout me as friend or more than that????

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July 1 2010, 12:21 PM 

his probably doing the same thing your doing behind his back .. .. so its kinda fair now that you have a bub

 
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Too shy to put my name!

Re: Does he care bout me as friend or more than that????

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July 2 2010, 12:45 AM 

Gal, such a complicated situation you've got urself into.
So does your baby's father love and care as much about you?
Is he going to take responsibility of you and the baby?
No one can really tell you what u should do gal. U will be the one eventually. The UK guy seems like an amazing guy to still care about u as u've pointed out.

What u eventually decide will have to now take into account ur child's welfare. You have to think about what u want for u and for ur baby. Do u want ur baby to grow up without his father? Do you even care and love ur child's father? Do u think a life with him is good for you? Many things happen along the way in life. You need to sit down and think things thru carefully before u make a decision.

If your baby's father is willing to marry u and take care of ur child, then I suggest u do that and let ur other friend go free. As u said urself, he deserve a good life too and you can be considerate of that too. If u love him enough u will be thinking of his happiness too. But if you twos were meant to be together than things will work out for u.

A mistake has been done, try to be fair and honest with all those who love and care for u and life will treat you kindly. If you try to manipulate things to ur advantage, you will end up regreting alot of things.

 
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Too shy to put my name!

Re: Does he care bout me as friend or more than that????

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July 2 2010, 10:47 AM 

The kid needs the father...and you wants the man you betray??????

 
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Too shy to put my name!

Re: Does he care bout me as friend or more than that????

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July 2 2010, 1:59 PM 

From the noble core of wisdom, just to be very short, your first friend is now just your mere friend (your sitting on the fence), he knows too well from heart-to-heart now your jumpy/disloyal kind of person will never be trusted. He doesn't see any inner personality/trust/motherhood quality in you as you yourself destroyed what he had for you.

The second man who pregnanted you will soon know your'e between two men. He will classify your child as kid out of wet-lock. You're at the loosing end. You're flirty kind of person both of them will not trust sooner or already looming in their minds. You're not alone, lot of womenfolk involve in such precarious situations like that too. But look to the future with positiveness.
This may be the end of another new begining for you.

44 year old professional man...

 
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Too shy to put my name!

Re: Does he care bout me as friend or more than that????

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July 2 2010, 2:51 PM 

firstly thank for taking the time out to help me in my situation! greatly appreciaed!

Everything u have said has really got me thinking but just so u know that my son is my number one priority! Every decision that i have to make is so that he is happy! I understand what u mean by "the baby needs his father & u want th man u betrayed?" i totally get it! The thing is i am not in love with the father of my baby! I know how stupid it sounds but it's the truth! If we both had to get together and seperate somewhere later in the future then it would most definitely hurt my son's feelings that us living together was just a lie) and i really don't want that to happen! I think it's better that we don't get together but he is more than welcome to see our son. Which do u think is worse? us getting together and living miserably coz we not in love or just not be together but he can come see our son whenever? It's just my opiinion though and like i said i want my son to be happy! I did not mean to do what i did & i most certainly did not mean to betray my friend! I hate myself for doing what i did but i know that i can't change it, what's done has been done! howevr i did say that i don;t deserve him and yes i want him to be happy! So if i have to let him go i will like my said my son's happiness is my PRIORITY!

but my question is do u think that he's in love with as well or am i just imagining things?

Thank u again!

 
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galpren

complicated heart

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July 2 2010, 9:21 PM 

woman seems like you are making a fool of yourself. Why opening legs at the first place. You need to take care of yourself and baby. What kind of impression you gonna put on yourself. Mistake is done. Look back and think of how you could do better. there will always be man! Now the man in UK huumm, I think he has no trust in you anymore. For the sake of conversation he would still talk nicely. That's the kinda person he.


so you thinking of killing one bird with two stones. Galpren don't cos its an embarrassment to your environment.

 
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Guilty friend

Re: complicated heart

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July 3 2010, 11:43 AM 

truee after giving much thought to everything that u all have said esp coming from a guy's point of view. So i guess i just have to let him go and concerntrate on my studies & my baby!
Thank u for your timee!

 
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