I have someting from deep within my heart which I thought some of you folks might shed some light for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My partner was a committed church person and was a the light in the home for the family till lately. She had stopped reading her bible and indulged in alcohol consumption and pretended all is fine when she comes home. She spends weekends and works late in the office and claims all related to work load. In the house now she is the deveil not the angel I once know, the children have also been curious about her behaviour. She receives calls at odd hours and keeps a distance from me when answering a call and has access to the facebook and surfs the net regularly. For my calls she wanted to know all callers and scans the phone to query every contact and why I am keeping them.

I am Mr Cool in the home and have been monitoring everything and am confident of an extra marital affair going on between my partner and someone else. As a Papua New Guinean I have extreme punishment for my wife and whoever the intruder is. Because of our beautiful children who are all doing well in school I have held on and now sought your counselling. I am emotionally wrecked but the future of my children has been the reason why I am holding back.

extreme punishment for your wife??!!

why not report there sorry ***-s to the police instead of taking the law into your own hands ?

why not report there sorry ***-s to the police instead of taking the law into your own hands ?

Thank you for your counsel, I actually had the extreme punishment on mind however I have not not resorted to it. I heed your counsel and probably the police will assist in this case.

From my point of view sure she is into someone or vise-versa, thats the signs when someone notice you or is interested in you( wife). if she continues in that direction don't worry you will catch her.When you do..... for the sake of your children don't do anything that will upset their well being until they are matured then you decide, UNFAITHFUL WIFE em hard long discribim ol yah......mi save hatim ol olsem pekpek..

From my point of view sure she is into someone or vise-versa, thats the signs when someone notice you or is interested in you( wife). if she continues in that direction don't worry you will catch her.When you do..... for the sake of your children don't do anything that will upset their well being until they are matured then you decide, UNFAITHFUL WIFE em hard long discribim ol yah......mi save hatim displa pasin..... Stay strong

Thanks dancing walts for your counsel, sometimes emotionally shattered persons tend to ponder on extreme measures your counsel is helpful.

She is a bitch...take her to court na m bai baim maintence

Bro, the signals are already there, that she is folling around at your back. I had a similar incident, where my ex used to be too possessive over me and wanted to know where i was, and what i was doing, etc, and wanted to know everything that you do. I found out that, when the other partner cheats in a relationship, they will assume you are doing the same thing and they wanted to look for a way to make you feel guilty. It is their guilt that makes them look for any mistake in you to make you look guilty also.

My ex was a faithful christian too, and sometimes they are real wolves in sheep skin. I found out, that from my ex. She really put on a good show to evade any suspicions, but, finally the truth spoke out loud and i was able to free myself from her. We had two beautiful children, they are now in school, i had to make sure i paid her out not to muddle around in my life and my childrens. She fooled around, but, once they are divorced, they are seen as k-mums and they are over-looked by their so-called lovers. I used to give her big money and she spends it on those guys, and that was what they were after, they dumped he when i dumped her. My kids live with her, and she asked me to maintain them and send money to her account, but, i refuse to do that, i normally give the money on a fortnightly basis to my children, and tell them to give it to their mother, because, i want them to see that, their daddy loves them and i am concerned about the well being. My kids have the freedom to come to their house, where i am residing or be with their mother. Every weekend, they are with me.

Why i am sharing this expereince is because, cheating working class woman dont realise that, those man who are playing with them are there for the money and sex, and once they see that they are divorced, they are reffered to in PNG as K-mums. The guys will walk away and they will end up lonely.

Bro, hang in there and try to establish whom she is cheating with and like i did, let her go freely and enjoy her life. I caught my woman with a guy drinking and having a merry time, using my car, my money, etc. I just walked towards them in a club and told my ex-wife, to pack her stuff the next day and move on, and i did not pick a fight with the guy, because why should i fight over a bitch who cheats on me. She was the one who made the mistake, forgetting her husband and her children, so i dont need to fight over her. I told her to move on and not to come back to me. I have never looked back since then.

Take some time and think about it, but be careful of diseases. Young man are dying of AIDS. MOst of my friends have died. Anecdotal evidence shows that, most professional man and woman are worst in prostitutions, either it be in the office or outside.
Be careful.
Cherio

Ouch, hard life buddah bro

Your experiences gives me the courage at this time of distress to hang on and consider worthy option.

Budda you did the right thing by not picking a fight..anyway such women are not worth fighting for or protecting. She'll realise later on how she f$%Ked up her own life and surely die with regrets.

A cheater will always cheat! WALK AWAY

The trust has been broken and privacy invaded so the ultimate solution is walking away and the time shall be sooner. Thanks for the insight and the confidence in sharing.

You have kids? But do you want them to be with you? just read on and hold on to your answer.

From experience, don't just walk away, you need to play a game called, 'i have no idea what you are doing', here's how the game works.

Tell her everything she wants to hear, tell her you love her, tell her you're sorry for invading her privacy (or whatever you did to upset her) tell her that your just stressed out because of some rumour at work about staff getting fired and it okay now, because you weren't fired. Now, allow her all the free time in the world to do what she is doing. Follow me so far? Okay here is the end game...

While everything is going on, collect evidence, ie while she is sleeping, copy out all the numbers in her cell phone's dial or recently dialed. Here's a tip, if she deleted all the numbers, try inserting a different new sim card into the phone, some phones have an in built memory, and storage of numbers may be visible. Next, ask a female colleague, sister etc to ring the number and chat with the other person, to ascertain who it is.

Once you know who it is, you can contact a lawyer and draft up a petition for you to get a divorce. Now, tell the lawyer everything, even if you had a previous affair or have a current girlfriend, everything. Lawyers hate surprises and it will make your case stronger. Now the lawyer should ask in his petition for the court to grant, 1) said divorce, 2) sole custody (if you desire), 3) Remunerations as seen fit (aka Child support) 4) Whatever vehicles and or property you own jointly, 5) Legal costs. Arrange with your lawyer a time to serve the papers upon your wife.

Go shopping and buy new locks for the house, back and front, learn how to install them or better yet find an uncle or brother who knows how to install them.

Go through all the cupboards and find what is yours and what is hers. Separate them.

Now, here is where her world comes crashing down. Invite her to a romantic dinner, tell her you've seen her working so hard that she deserves a break, better yet do it on her birthday, call your uncle/brother to watch the kids, and after you leave, to change the locks. Take her to an expensive restaurant, in your car, just for the two of you. Converse as if nothing is wrong, enjoy your meal, perhaps order an expensive wine. Then, while she is just finishing her meal, take out the papers and hand them to her, stand up and leave. Drive home, empty her things onto the ground outside. If you want to keep your kids out of it, send them to your mother or sister. When she arrives home tell her to take her things and go, if she refuses, call the police, they love getting in the thick of things.

And there you are, revenge served cold.

COLD, COLD, COLD a genius at work...

damn...i should have been on this site before. I had d opportunity to do exactly det n i didnt.

Dancing waltz...how do you describe an unfaithful woman which could be any different from the description given to unfaithful men? Just coz a woman does this we start perpetuating that women are much more bitches whilst defending men? I wonder how many women face the same problem of men cheating, as in the situation that Decent man has described. Cheating happens both from men & women.....please stop inferring that women are worse!

That's quite right, but when a woman does - it's very painfull. And even more worst for family with children. Don't forget that woman is the light of the house that shines in the family. Man is just man, a typical PNG attitude mixed with tradional and western influence, a very ignorant with mr. right on his face (just some). Keep doing as only a time can tell.

But for woman, you're a shining being in the family and the bottom line is that every one in your family relation is looking upon you with respect and dignity. If you stuff around and sleep with another man, you are just tarnishing the reputation of not only you and your hubby but every one in your relation. How bad is that? It's very bad and a uncurable decease. You just collecting strange sperms other than your husban to spoil your only body that your loved kids came out off. How bad is that? Very bad that when kids grow knowing it - just spoils.

Decent Man,

Your life's predicament is very much similar to mine that I thought I'd respond (though I don't normally publicize on PNGSCAPE).

I had 4 children with this woman. She started out decent but she developed a filthy habit of chewing, smoking and drinking immediately after we returned from overseas where we lived for 6 years. I couldn't believe what my relatives and friends were telling me about her drinking ways but I stuck with her while caring for her and my family. I was informed that everytime I went off to work overseas or local, she ended up in night clubs and was drinking at lodges while my children, God knows what!! The split went on to a situation where she asked me to give her and the children space so she could 'decide whether to remain with me' for some trivial household arguments (never anything physical). It went to the extent where she asked me to "move on" and marry a second wife while she'd remain first-wife.

I still lovingly believed that my children needed their mother though it was getting more and clearer what she was up to. I was naive. She was a bad influence and didn't deserve them coming home with other men drunk (in front of the kids). Her brothers and family lived in the house I rented them and they all covered for the bitch while living off of my good grace e.g. airfares, food, allowances, etc.

The last straw was when she kidnapped the children to her home village in September 2012 where she dumped the children and returned to Port Moresby to be with one of her lovers hoping he would take care of her. She continued her night crawling and club trotting defiantly (thinking my relatives and I didn't know)!! Apparently it turned out the man she was with was also married and had hooked up with her at a night club after having an on-line affair spanning over 8 years. I initially went insane for 2 weeks engaging the services of cops and wantoks to look for her and my children. Her brother and mother (who I allowed her to live with) also went off with her and my children to their home village. Their abrupt disappearance was baffling but I later realized they had all conspired against me!!

She thought she had me at her fingertips!! She thought I would always melt to her charms and continue this tomfoolery business obliviously!! She though I was hers to come and go as she pleases, (but boooyy was she wrong!!!)

YOU KNOW WHAT I DID??!!

I jetted off and hired a car to collect my children at her village. Her relatives up there hosted a village court. my ex-wife had apparently heard of my coming (Jan. 4, 2013) and so she travelled up a couple of days earlier. I spilled the bean on her in village court telling them that my relatives had kept tabs on her on her escapades in POM. In the meantime I had continued to suffer in silence and pay maintenance to her mother's account to care for my children up there. She was embarrassed outright!!

Well, I brought the children back to Port Moresby after visiting my own province. I next explained to them what their mother had been up to over the span of 4 years since we returned from overseas. They silently accepted the removal of their mother after their own experiences. I moved on and married another very beautiful woman from my home province who 1) cares for my children like her own; 2) is a faithful Seventh-Day, 3) controls the family budget responsibly; 4) respects me lovingly and does so while seeing me in the eye; and 5) doesn't have any of those filthy habits of drinking, smoking and chewing.

SO MY BROTHER, LIFE DOES AND CAN GO ON! (DON'T BE DEPRESSED!) IF THE WOMAN DOESN'T WANT YOU THEN SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU. I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY THAT LIFE DOES GO ON WITHOUT THE BITCH!! I AM HAPPY TODAY AN EXPECTING WITH MY NEW WIFE (WE'RE HAPPY!!)..GOOD LUCK, BRO!

As for that bitch, she was dumped. She's been begging to return to me and the kids but I say..."**** 'EM"!!

This is very sad indeed for you and your children. Most of us go through some sort of marital crises in life but people do forgive and get on with life.

The problem with this kind of marriage is mostly resulted from an early coincidental dating. The real marriage is the one who had a long friendship time and gets to know each other’s family very well.

Most second marriages are always good because they're selective arrangements not to repeat the past. The 2nd woman exactly knows what went wrong in the first marriage and why it happened if it's not your fault. With all this in her mind she would try to build a strong rapport to win your heart. So you have to prove to your new wife that the first marriage spill wasn't your fault. You can only do this with your actions not by your mouth.

Buddy I hope you are moving on in life now with all the positive experiences others have shared with you.
It takes two to have affairs and move on with sexual life. I have a similar but different type of problem and it was family pressures on both sides. My side and her side. I have been dealing with it for a long time. It took my wife almost 30 long years to forgive me while my siblings who are the cause of all my problems have moved on. Buddy there are many factors to quality of marriage life that combines to make a simple thing comlpicated and the poor children suffer no fault of theirs. When we marry it is marrying the whole family, extensions, land everything and it all ends up in the bed room. The bed room is where love and intimacy in its rightfull meaning takes places and stressfull and depressing issues from outside the married room can be disected and elimiantion and delelting of factors that can threaten marriage life.
Anyways so much lecture but love to hear how you are doing now. Bud move on. Mine survived and are rebuilding our lives again, because all that I predicted are unfolding with children diserting us and family don't care anymore. There are happy endings to evry story and sad ending. Congrats to others who jave shared their stories. Keep up and lets help others who are suffering from the very person we pledged to live together. Take Care.

With advise from those who shared I have tamed the devil and sowly picking up in marriage. But have my devil under close watch and she too thinks I am the devil etc. I have made my stance clear to her and she knows the consequence. Happy now.....