Well... Happy bloody Christmas then...

Since I don't have everyone's e-mail address, this is my Christmas e-mail for 2008 for ya's all:



Got yourself some wine?
Poured yourself a "Scotch holiday sour" (which seemingly really is a cocktail)?

For the new people who are probably really glad they made it on to my annual Xmas e-mailing-spam-list:
This is in English because I send the same e-mail to English and Dutch speaking people... and I sure as shit ain't gonna write it twice!
Yes, that means you're receiving the same message as everyone else. Oh! OH! Don't get on your high-horses with me, like you personalize your bloody Xmas cards...

Anyways, I was going to send yous all a Christmas card this year.
I was.
I woke up one fine morning and contemplated: "I'm gonna send everyone a Christmas card this year."
Then my car blew up. Seriously. And I then thought (or said aloud; one can never be too sure of these things): "Fuck it. They can stuff their fucking Xmas cards up their fucking arses with everything else fucking Xmassy which gets on my tits."

Which leads me gently onto the subject of 2008.
What a miserable fucking year it has been!
My car exploded on the motorway (Why? Two words: Alfa Romeo), I broke my hand (police brutality for you), lots of good people died and I have a whole battery of shrinks, dietricians and doctors hunting me down like a rabid and fat schizophrenic who's just escaped from room 101 and needs to be dragged back in for medication.

And don't get me started on Summer. Summer my arse. I haven't seen Summer since April 2007, and that's pretty much pissing me off.
Anyways, as a late, but good friend once said (well, he said it more than once, but that's whiskey and marijuana for you): "If things don't change soon, they're going to remain the same." And there's no two doubts about that!

Obviously not all of 2008 was a disaster.
I met Sophia; the love of my life, the shining star in the Christmas tree of relationships, the kamptfuhrer of all things garden, the... you get the jist...
I didn't die.
And that's pretty much it.

Politics sucked the peanuts out of shite through a straw as well.
Even though the world sighed in relief at Obama winning the US election, I swear to God (anyone's, I'm not picky) that McCain and Palin would have been ten-fold funnier.
We've got a massive economic crisis on our hands. Well, most likely on someone's hands, it sure as hell ain't on mine. Like I give a shit if the world slips into recession. You reap what you bloody well sow. And if you really think that balancing a world economy on gambling is smart, don't come-a-whining when the gamblers get greedy and steal your bloody savings.

Politics in 2009 doesn't sound all that much better.
We've got Tipsi Livni of the Israeli fascist party declaring war on a democratically elected government (although any political party based on religious beliefs should be taken with table spoons of salt, for sure) and we've got pope Benedictine (sounds like booze to me) warning us: "...that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behaviour is just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction."
He just makes me wanna suck cock (and that's not something you usually put in a Christmas wish...).

I hope you all have a hangover free Xmas and a happy and creative 2009!
I'm now off for my Ritalin fix.

Mark