Things Not To Say On Your First Date

# I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

# I used to come here all the time with my ex.

# I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

# Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

# I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

# And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.

# It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.