Great Truths About Growing Old:

Great Truths About Growing Old:
1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
3. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a
person gain five pounds.
6. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things.
Right now, I am so far behind, I will live forever.
7. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
8. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
9. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
10. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
consciousness.
11. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.