A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement
that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly
realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man
next to him, he complained, "I forgot my teeth, what am I going
to do now!?"
The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and
pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.
The speaker tried them on. "Too loose," he said. The man then
said, "I have another pair -- try these."
The speaker tried them on and responded, "Too tight."
The man was not taken back at all.
He said, "I have one more pair. Try them."
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that, he ate
his meal and gave his speech.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went to thank
the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming
to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good
The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."