A noted sex therapist realized that people often lied about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone has had sex.

To prove his theory, he filled an auditorium with people, and went down the line, asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately until he came to the last man in line, an elderly gentleman, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Twice a day," the therapist guessed. But the therapist was surprised when the man says no.

"Once a day, then?" Again the answer is no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." The man finally said yes when the doctor got to "once a year."

The therapist is angry that his theory isn't working, and asks the elderly gentleman, "What the heck are you so happy about?"

The gent answered, "Tonight's the night!"

There was a bar advertising a contest and a man walked in to find out what the contest was for.

The bartender said it is for anyone who could make my horse laugh wins fifty dollars.

So the man asked where the horse was the bartender said out back in the barn.

The man went out to the barn when he returned he told the bartender the horse was laughing the bartender went out and sure enough the horse was.

About a month later the same man was passing the bar and they were having another contest and the man wanted to see what it was so he went in.

The bartender said the horse had not stopped laughing since he was last there. The new contest was for who could make him stop got 100 dollars.

The man went to the barn and came back and told the bartender that the horse was crying and the bartender went to check. When he returned he paid the man and asked how he had done that.

The man replied that the first time I told the horse I had a bigger dick than he did, the second time I proved it.

Why is a woman like KFC?


......Because after that succulent breast and tender thighs all your left with is a greasy box to put your bone in!!!!!