Just returned from my dream holiday in Grangemouth, Scotland. Spent ten incredible days with the one and only Craig Lorentson. Came away with some really special pieces of Lowlife history as well as a million glorious memories (some of them kinda fuzzy...) I realized my fondest wish of hearing him sing inside ancient Scottish architecture. And as a bonus I beat him a few times at Scrabble, not something he's used to... (sorry Craig, just had to rub that in a wee bit...) Truth is I've never enjoyed anyone's company more. And I haven't laughed til I cried in many years.
In just three months I've been told enough stories for a book, which I shall start on straightaway. This is not a sad band however sorry their "management" turned out to be.
I won't be divulging any more secrets, but I want everyone to know that we've made a difference here on this board and just to keep the faith.
Everything was wonderful
It went so fast that I felt cheated
yes she was here we hung out and laughed our tits off for ten days there is a project about to get under way a brand new album if all goes well and finance is o.k if not i,ll probably just drink myself to death and you can read the lyrics later all my love and don,t forget that we need your support live long and fester craig LORENTSON..........................................................................................................
YOU DID NOT I REPEAT NOT BEAT ME AT FUK ALL SCRABBLE YOU STOLE MY LYRICS YOU TOOK THE PISS AND I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT YOU TATTOO,D LADY.IF ANYONE OUT THERE DOUBTS THIS SEE YA WOULDN,T WANT TA BE YA YOU ALL HAVE THIS LITTLE LADY TO THANK FOR US EVEN SPEAKIN NEVER MIND WRITIN TOGETHER AGAIN SO GIVE HER A LITTLE RESPECT ..NOT THAT YOU HAVE ALL NOT PLAYED A BIG PART ALSO AND I DO MEAN EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY PADDED CELL...................................................................................................................CRAIG LORENTSON...........P.S I HOPE THAT I CAN GET ROUND TO TALKING TO YOU ALL SOME TIME BUT I,M SHIT ON THIS THING I,VE WRITEN SONGS QUICKER THAN THIS SHIT HAS TAKEN..GET IN TOUCH WITH COLLEEN BECKY SPUNKY MONKEY PRESCOTT JARVIS AND SHE WILL FORWARD THE SHIT TO ME TIME TO DIE CRAIG......................................
I hope everyone knows that "taking the piss" doesn't have anything to do with getting peed on... 'kay? 'kay.
I have exactly one tattoo. Craig and I both got Lowlife tattoos when I was there. He would want me to tell you that mine is about a third the size of his...translated, means I'm a wuss.
Scrabble: Yes, he beat the living shit out of me first game. Yes, he's the King of the seven-letter words. But a clean sweep...I don't think so. Can you spell d-e-n-i-a-l?? I've got most of the score cards if his memory needs refreshing... Funny, he doesn't recall starting the food fight either...
I got news for him, I stole more than his lyrics...
All kidding aside, it's an honour to be accepted into this insane asylum. All I've ever wanted was to let these guys know I was listening. I was just like everyone else; hanging on to the dream of more and scratching my head as to why they never made it big. This music should've taken care of them financially for the rest of their lives. It still will, if I have anything to do with it. Are you getting this, BRIAN??
YES I CAN SPELL DENTAL BUT WHAT HAS MY TEEF GOT TO DO WIT DIS..SO SPUNKY YOUR NOT GOIN TO LET THIS GO ARE YOU ..FUCK OFF KAY. KAY..AND TELL YOUR DEHYDRATING RED DICK TO STOP FUKIN WITH ME ON THE PHONE.KIKIN THE SHIT OUT OF A CRYIN MAN, AND I USE THAT WORD LIGHTLY.IS NOT MY IDEA OF FUN,BUT PUSH ME AND IT WILL HAPPEN.NUFF SAID.............I,LL TALK TO YOU LATER ABOUT IT...........ALL MY LOVE CRAIG....SORRY FOR YA
I WOULD JUST LIKE YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT I GRABBED THE WRONG END OF THE STICK .AND IT TAKES A BIGGER MAN TO SAY SORRY THAN TO LET IT GO .ALL MY APPOLOGY,S ..................KAY ..KAY..AND MY LOVE.........KAY...KAY...P.S WRITE THE FUCKIN BOOK..KAY ...KAY ...P.PS BILL HICKS IS GOD....CRAIG??????????????????????????????????????
It's just that ambidextrous dyslexics, like yourself, are often taken the wrong way...especially when you type with your teef, sorry...feet. So you F/O K?K.
You know olive you too, YOU FUKKIN NUTTER!!
Just promise me if we ever play Scrabble with my Mom that you'll refrain from using words like "cunt" and "Durex." I'm counting on you, "tootsie."
And don't you remember? You told me you were God...
xoxo
Spunk E.
PS...So Brian, not too chuffed with me, are ya? You know what I'm gonna say, don't ya. TFB I'll see you face to face soon enough. I carry the wrath of many. Besides the band themselves, you have cheated thousands of would-be Lowlife fans from something very special, all because you didn't do your job. Shameful it is...
Come on!!!!! Thousands of Lowlife fans??????? Maybe at their peak, i.e. Diminuendo. Im reckoning maybe just in to the Hundreds. None the less, he is a Fat Cheating Bastard. I wish Lowlife would let sleeping dogs lie, Gush wasnt great, wasnt even good.
HUNDREDS YOU SAY? YOU MUST HAVE SOME KIND OF INSIDE IN INFORATION. YOU SPAWN OF THE DEVILS GROIN..WHAT IS DONE CAN NEVER BE UNDONE AND I SWEAR TO MY GOD AND MYSELFISH THAT THERE WILL BE A DAY WHEN YOU HAVE IT ALL SHOVED SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOUR MOMMA,S CAT,S WILL SCREAM. DON,T ASK FOR PITY FROM THE PITYFUL CUNT....................................CRAIG...
Whats with all the name calling????? Thats no way to be talking to a lady. Surely everybody should be entitled to their opinion. Sorry CL, loved Gush, love you, youre so wonderful. And to every contributor to this site, Lowlife are DA BOMB PER SE. Hows that. P.S. I have no insider information other than a letter from nighshift in which the writer, Mr Guthro, states the sales up to DIMINUENDO. Kinda hard to get info on Lowlife in Italy!!!
Very well put Wes, with delicate undertones of humour. I dont agree with your comment, but I appreciate that everyone is entitled to opinion and if i dont agree, I do not resort to judging the other with obscene or impolite language. Nevertheless Wes, well put.
Spiggot, your skin is so thin it's practically transparent. If the "dirty" words offend you so deeply get back to your Bible studies and you won't get yourself into such a tizzy.
IF WORDS LIKE FUCK AND CUNT OFFEND YOU THEN I SHALL SAY SORRY TO YOU RIGHT NOW O.K. KAY.BUT DON,T YOU THINK THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT THE F..K YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE YOU STICK IT ON THE WEB SITE?.YOU NO NO THING UNTILL YOU HAVE ASKED MYSELFISH OR ONE OF THE OTHER MEMBERS IN THE BAND SO WHAT,S YOUR PROBLEM. I,AM NEVER ABUSIVE TO ANYONE WHO IS NOT ABUSIVE TO ME,AND IF THAT IS A FAULT THEN SO BE IT I SHALL FACE MY GODDOG WITH A CLEAR MIND AND I SHALL KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I,M TALKING ABOUT!!!!AND I DON,T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF YOUR MALE OR FEMALE,I DON,T HAVE BITS YOU DO AND YOU DON,T HAVE BITS I DO I THINK THATS LEARNED AT SCHOOL NOW.SO IF YOU WANT TO TALK,THEN LETS TALK AND STOP ALL THIS BULL SH.T........ALL MY LOVE AND WISHES.....CRAIG
(sorry Craig, just had to rub that in a wee bit...) Truth is I've never enjoyed anyone's company more. And I haven't laughed til I cried in many years. 