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Not Asking For Either

October 14 2005 at 8:11 PM
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Bob  (no login)
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Response to Oh, I get it!

I'm not denying aspects of life exist in which women suffer discrimination. I was just trying to say that there are also important areas of life in which men are disadvantaged and suffer discrimination.

My references to personal experiences were intended to show -- not bitterness, nor misogyny -- but an aspect of life that some might not ever believe could occur. I am neither bitter now (though there was a time when I wished a disfiguring disease upon my ex . . and when I cheered the line in the Robert Cray song . . "tell me a boatload of lawyers just sank"!) . . nor hate women. I have worked for many years in a female-dominated field, always having female supervisors, and working with female clients more than male . . and in all that time I never received a bad evaluation or negative comments from women on my work or willingness to be a team member. You can see "the truth" and yet not be hostile toward others about it.

To the contrary, it seems to me that anyone (especially male) who questions feminist positions is quickly termed "misogynist." No one (including you) tries to attack the validity of my argument (I prefer to think that they just can't). Rather, they attack the arguer . . trying to dismiss his points be applying labels rather than offering counter-arguments.

My hope is that, by offering my points of view, others might share theirs, and real exchanges could result. Too often, people only want their side cheered . . but what is accomplished? If that is the limit of it, why even allow anyone to post here? Just post a banner detailing all the "acceptable" positions and leave it at that. Of course, I always hope for more.

P.S. Like you, many other women have asked what I might have done or said to "cause" my ex-wife's infidelity (surely I must have driven her to it!) Ironically, these same women, upon hearing that Lorena Bobbitt severed her sleeping husband's penis, "in self-defense" (what? was he snoring aggressively?), thought he must surely have brought on this attack.

Yet, those same women, when hearing of a female friend's despair at the infidelity of her husband, quickly decide that the cheating husband was a "pig" to betray a "devoted, loving wife." Not saying that wifey wasn't terrific . . but why do so many women . . and not just devout feminists . . ASSUME that whenever a man cheats on his wife, its his fault (which, I think, it always is) . . and when a man's wife cheats on him . . it must somehow be his fault also. Isn't that . . what is the opposite of misogyny? . . . its not androgyny, but it could be . . anyway, I have to wonder if a lot of these women really hate men, such that any man who disagrees with them or thinks he has been treated wrong by a woman must (in their minds) by labeled as a hater of women?

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  1. Read Agian - michaela on Oct 14, 2005
  3. Misandry - John Bayko on Oct 15, 2005
    1. Re: Misandry - JB on Oct 16, 2005
      1. Opposite - John Bayko on Oct 16, 2005
        1. Re: Opposite - JB on Oct 16, 2005
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