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Author: Bob (Bob) CiD-2925072 Date: 7/30/2007 12:06:59 AM Approved by: Registered User -- Origin IP: 22.214.171.124 [UNITED STATES]- Views (14) Post Delay=38
This was sent to me by a friend: Advice to males on how to conduct
their relationships with females (apparently written by a guy who has
done well in that department). I thought you might be interested in
reading them (some are pretty lame, in my opinion, but maybe that
explains a lot to me).
1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house [without
notice]...they run around in their underwear just like we do.
2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each
other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you
be mud. If you do cheat on them do not ever talk to the girl or see the
girl you cheated on them. They will be hurt , no matter what they say
3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of
them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them
wouldn't even wait for the hat.
4. NEVER miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.
5. DON'T refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at
you, it's because they're jealous.
6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it. (HEY!)
7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out
with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your
8. If you don't sleep with them, DO NOT tell your friends that you
9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not
offended by it...
10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.
11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do
discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your
girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your
friends will know you're a pussy..
12. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all
13. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend-
a stuffed animal, ONE OF HIS SWEATSHIRTS, and a really PRETTY RING
(plastic ones from machines count). Even if it's not a serious
14. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're
dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off,
call to be sure she's home safely.
15. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out
16. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, PULL YOUR
17. NEVER, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if
she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never
make any gestures back.
18. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you
enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
19. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents,
and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to
their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.
20. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky. (Unless
its Rachel Hunter!)
21. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it REALLY does
make them feel like shit, so be understanding.
22. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.
23. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your
friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.
24. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really ONLY want to
be with you.
25. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them WITHOUT
26. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very
27. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're
basically screwed for life. (I can attest to this!)
28. Don't marinade in the cologne, but smell good.
29. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or
Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be
30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really
have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts
you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you
would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power,
and it can be lost in a nano second.
31. NEVER, and I mean NEVER make her do anything she doesn't wanna do.
Because if you do she'll think that you're only after one thing. (and I
think you all know what that is)-sex.