Brandon: Yes, it does sound like our families were similar, even down to our mothers. My mother had a way with my father, and she instructed us kids on -- the modern word might be "play" him. Dad would almost always say "No" to requests at first, but then my mother would talk with him and give him time to think about it, and many times the No" became "Alright, but you better . . ", which was a list of cautions and conditions. As I got older, I realized that he had my best interests at heart. He wanted to be in control, but his bark was worse than his bite. I could get a lot more cooperation from him by acknowledging his authority and then working to soften him up rather than being defiant. As I got older, my father and I actually became good friends, spending a lot of time together. He was one of very few people who would bend over backward to see and do things with me when I became an adult (even more so than my mother). We got to a point where we could argue and I wasn't being disrespectful for doing so. I sometimes even pressed the argument with him (imagine that!) My father didn't hold back either -- something I never forgot is the time he told me, "You are the dumbest smart person I've ever known." (Even now, when I ponder decisions, I think, "Was I being stupid/stubborn about this?")
My father once told me, "You don't understand me now, but you will when you get older." And, he was right. Increasingly, I find myself saying things he said, and I think back to an age when I thought, "I will never think like that. I don't understand why he would." But becoming a parent and starting different phases of life brings new vantage points on many things.
Also, in my life I've found that most of the people I became very close friends with started off with me disliking them or feuding with them (Michaela, there's still time!). This was much more likely to result than if we hit it off from the beginning. Ir was like we could clear the air and get things off our chests from the beginning, so there was no hiding of differences. I'd think (as with my father), "That person is so wrong. How can anyone think or act like that?" And then, as I was around them more, I started to see another side of them . . and then come to appreciate aspects of their personality that I initially disliked. I wonder if my father taught me that.