1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their **** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid £10 to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the
longest thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus had come would I still be standing here, ****head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?
11. When your eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting. I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks.. that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks...........Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McTosser.
14. When you involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you
alright?'. Yes, fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
15. People who go to the front of a queue & try a door .
16. Sales people who stand in door ways of shops trying to sell you something completely at odds with whats on sale in the shop. If I wanted double glazing what the f*ck am I doing in the chip shop?
17. Cashiers who say "Do you want any cash back?" - yeah the £50 I've just handed over.
18. People who point at an empty chair & ask "Anyone sitting there"
19. Idiots who leave the photocopier on 500 copies
20. People who say, when you answer the phone at work; 'Hello, Joe Bloggs Ltd'