Tango 5 Inc. Public Message Board
Tango 5 Inc. Public Message Board
Tango 5 announces lay offs
SAN JOSE, CALIF, JUNE 24, 2002 - Tango 5 corporation announced it has laid
off 15 employees, 100% of it's work force. "Tango 5's committment
to it's investors is yet again evident in this cost cutting measure," said
CEO and Founder T5 Cook. Tango 5 Inc. filed bankruptcy in Federal
District court on July 4th with critics calling this yet another corporate
accounting scandal.
"In terms of creating a positive environment for a take over or bail out,
I felt it crucial to clean the rank file to eliminate personel operating
costs. We simply no longer can afford to have inefficient staff."
Former Tango 5 employees will given $3.82 as part of a compensation package
that is rivaled as "one of the best in the country."
On July 4th Tango 5's executive staff resigned including the four founding
members, T5 Cook, T5 Blades, T5 Beaver and T5 Hole. The remaining employees
received notification early July 5th. Some staff took it
hard, but remained optimistic that despite a collasping economy they could
find jobs in the US Army as baggage handlers.
When asked about the possibility of a hostile take over Tango 5 acting CFO
T5 Farsi responded, "Oh yes, we have been in secret talks with several organizations
interested in purchasing Tango 5 in lieu of continuing with our Chapter 13
filing. In fact a select few members of Tango 5's staff might be asked
back if Tango 5 is aquired. T5 Beaver, T5 Kikeincords, and T5 Cook
all have received lucrative unofficial offers from prospective firms to manage
a "new" Tango 5.
T5 Blades filed suit against Tango 5 claiming unlawful job descrimination.
"I had a cush position in the bahama's but just before my resignation I was
reassigned to Antartica!" Tango 5 quickly settled this law suit by
buying him a fancy sports car. "He's as happy as a pig in slop"
said, T5 Kikeincords, Tango 5's unnamed accountant at a press release after
the settlement.
Will Tango 5 close down on August 1st as scheduled? "That's very
uncertain, however our decision to lay off our entire still stands," said
acting CFO T5 Farsi. "We are operating today with minimal non-union,
underpaid, "scab" temporary uneducated workers. So far they are doing
a fine job. Regardless of the future, I don't forsee Tango 5 rehiring
any of it's former grunt staff. They are too expensive, when cheaper
robotic technology can do the job of 10 of them at one half the cost." said
T5 Farsi, acting CFO.
Tango 5 Inc. is the worlds largest bullshit manufacturer. Additional
information can obtained at http://www.tango5.com . Tango 5, T5, Tango
5 Inc. are all registered trademarks of Tango 5 Inc. its subsidiaries in
the United States and other countries.
| Find more forums on Gaming Community | Create your own forum at Network54 |
| Copyright © 1999-2008 Network54. All rights reserved. Terms of Use Privacy Statement |