Yes, the first thing I do is nit-pick. (I can't help it, it's a disease). That said, I was laughing out loud at parts of this, so good job, Chimera.
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> a mercenary of your caliber should hardly leave her penniless, correct?
'here'
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>It wasn't easy to glimpse their contents, at the pace that the exquisitely endowed centaurs they were riding.
[Not sure, maybe?]
It wasn't easy to glimpse their contents, 'given' the pace 'of' the exquisitely endowed centaurs they were riding.
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> Lance paused, glancing into the next window, and shuttered.
'shuddered'
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> Lance growled. "Fucksake. Fine. I don't care. Lets get this thing started."
'Let's'
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> t.gore gave a grin and murmured, "Okay, you son of a bitch, now
> that we're alone. Let's finish this so I can stop feeling like such
> a goddamn nerd for being here."
[t.gore? ^_^]
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[Small question, when Shadowy guy was telling Lance about Nnirk, if Lance hasn't seen him yet, why would he assume he has any connection to Krinn?]
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> Sherlock proved to be an anthromorph, like Lance... except his
> genotype was that of a feline rather than vulpine.
[I don't think genotype is quite the word you want to use here. It refers to a beings unique genetic makeup, two people can look remarkably the same (have the same phenotype) but still have different genotypes. </grad student lecture>]
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> "Uh." Brandt's brow furrowed. "No, why should I?"
[Who or what (other than head trauma) is Brandt reacting to?]
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Your usual excellent (and somewhat nauseating) work. ^_^
I have to point out though, if we're looking to trim a little length on this thing, we could cut the entire 'riding on the centaurs-seeing the experiments' bit without losing any plot.
Posted on Feb 25, 2004, 9:01 PM from IP address 12.73.132.172