I have been editing my grammar and punctuation in my Book in a Year project before I finish of the ending and just wanted to clarify something with Lou or anyone else who has had a final edit done to their work. Below are some passages (repeated three times) of conversation and I wanted to know of each, which the correct format?
Is there a standard or is it a preference to the way a comma and lower case letters follow/interrupts a sentence of speech? After consulting many punctuation books and novels I have found all three methods used as given below – can anyone enlighten me as to the choices?

Also are the given lower case letters following the speech only for pronouns or can it be for verbs, nouns and adjectives, or is it selective?

I know all this must seem utterly confusing but … there is no place I go to find out. Help!


EXAMPLES:
1)“You were lucky then. We are slowly sinking the slave trade that you would otherwise have been taken into.” He seemed reserved in his offering of information. “I shall take you to a boarding house that keeps many potential students. Do you have the means to pay for lodgings?”
“I think so, at least for a few nights.”
The man nodded stiffly before ending their conversation. “Very well.”

2)“You were lucky then. We are slowly sinking the slave trade that you would otherwise have been taken into,” he seemed reserved in his offering of information. “I shall take you to a boarding house that keeps many potential students. Do you have the means to pay for lodgings?”
“I think so, at least for a few nights.”
The man nodded stiffly before ending their conversation, “Very well.”


1)Aleyah blinked. “Are you certain this is the way?” her brow creased in concern.
2)Aleyah blinked, “Are you certain this is the way?” her brow creased in concern.

1)“Bugger,” Aleyah yelled. “If I have to wash the floor again I won’t be pretty by morning.”
2)“Bugger.” Aleyah yelled, “If I have to wash the floor again I won’t be pretty by morning.”

I would have written either way for all three examples. So I am absolutly no help at all.

I'll ask DH. He's a bit of a stickler for punctuation, and spelling and grammer, but I don't know if it extends that far.

I like to be really careful with my grammar so I think I can help:

1. The first option, because you use an observation, and not really a descriptor.

2. Again the first; she doesn't blink the words, therefore comma not really appropriate. Period also allows the pause that a "blink" usually insists.

3. This depends on the emphasis you want:

a)If "Bugger" is the yell, (as implied by first option) could just use an exclamation point. ("'Bugger! If I have to...'"

b) If the "If I have to..." is the yelled part, same option with ! ("'Bugger. If I have to...!'" Exclamation marks are more readable that "she yelled" as the reader can easily figure out the tone by surrounding situation and such punctuation. Or, another approach is to extend the descriptor, turning "she yelled" into: "she raised her voice so X could not ignore her,'If I have to...'")

c) If, however, everything is yelled, don't use a period - just extend the sentence:
" 'Bugger!' Alleyah yelled, 'If I have to...!"

(notice that the exclamation mark has a different effect on capitalisation compared to a period, like
"'Yes!' he yelled." rather than
"'Yes.' He yelled." and it also affects the way it is read - depends on what you want to get across.)

I SO hope that I haven't confused you more! *My Penguin writing/grammar book is my best friend...*

I've read in articles that "yelled" is not a popular option - it's very vague and doesn't get the desired effect with readers. Alternatives are "shouted" or "cursed" or "screamed" or "erupted" or "bawled"....etc.
Cheers! (And best of luck with editing...my least favourite part.)

Dale is spot on, Timna. It's really easy to remember - never use a comma at the break of dialogue unless afterwards you are qualifying how the person is speaking.

eg. "Hi there," he said.
or - "Tell me," Mandy pleaded.

If you are placing action outside of the dialogue, use a full-stop. And capitalise the first word inside of the inverted commas and the first word of each sentence outside of the inverted commas.

eg. "Hi there." He put a pot of tea on the stove.
or - "Tell me." Mandy grabbed him by the collar.
or - "We are slowly sinking the slave trade that you would otherwise have been taken into.” He seemed reserved in his offering of information.
or - The man nodded stiffly before ending their conversation. “Very well.”
or - Aleyah blinked. “Are you certain this is the way?” Her brow creased in concern.

A FAB book for all this junk is called "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White.

Hope helps!
Ally
http://www.allyblake.com

Oh dear, having read all that has made my head hurt. I have a copy of Strunk and it's one thing that addles me no end.

Line editing (I think?) is something I do not look forward to. Structural I suspect I'll survive the other nitty gritty stuff hmmmmm let's say coffee will be my saviour!

Nicky

I'm agreeing with Ally and Dale. Timna, if you don't already have "Elements of Style", do go out and buy it. It's only a tiny book, but it covers almost everything. The grammar bible!

Thank you both Dale and Ally for clearing up the editing versions i placed. I did place the alternative (number 2) to what i had, so its good to see how Im going. I have many grammar guides that i use when im stuck, but there wasnt anything in them about novel element construction. Ally's guide "Never use a comma at the break of dialogue unless afterwards you are qualifying how the person is speaking." Thats all i needed! Its so simple when you put it like that.

I enjoy editing - structural and detail inparticular. Off i go again!

This was a great exercise Timna. I always did it exactly wrong until reading "Elements of Style" and coming up with that one line explanation to teach myself how to do it right.

Happy to help!

Next!

Ally