Hello Michael,
Congratulations! You have identified a subject which has
great interest to a lot of individuals seeking to carve
out their own little "Internet Money-maker."
You have an attractive looking site.
Here are some quick suggestions in making it a little better.
1. I like that graphic at the very top. It's attractive;
however your headline is the same as your slogan. Don't
immediately repeat the headline/slogan.
Create a different slogan like: "A Step-By-Step Roadmap to
mining gold in specialized markets."
or
"A Blow-by-Blow Howto Strategy for Grabbing Your Slice of
The Internet Pie."
or
"Pan-handle Your Way To Instant Profits Using Unique
Blueprints For Niche Success."
or
"The Internet Goldminer's Guide To Striking It Rich In Niche
Markets." (I kinda like this one
You get the idea
Get rid of those 3 little blue dots at the very top of the
copy. They really serve no purpose.
Place a bit more space between your headline and "From the
desk of..." It'll make the copy seem less crowded.
By the way, the entire page ought to be centered. Right now
it's off to the left in my browser.
Think about putting one of your testimonials immediately
after your headline. Choose your most powerful one. Do this in
place of 5 well placed bulleted benefit statements.
You should do either one, or the other.
It's always a good idea soon after you begin your
letter (after the first couple opening sentences), to
detail the problems which the reader currently face.
In your web-letter you almost immediately start stating
the benefits, without first shining a 1000 watt bulb
on the problem(s).
(You did this with just 2 sentences. You need more).
Make the reader first fully understand his problem, then present
your product as the wonderful solution.
Do something along the lines of...
"Here's the number one reason why 85% of the thousands of
would-be entreprenuers fail at making an Internet Income."
Then go ahead and explain that they use the shotgun approach,
whilst you'll show them the sniper approach.
Next move up "Please allow me to introduce myself..."
close to the beginning of your webletter. You give us
the very beginning of a good story about why you started
"Strike It Niche."
Write a short compelling story about why, how, and what
led you to pull back the curtain to reveal these
secret strategies.
The image of your ebook is waaay too low down in the copy.
That's the first time the reader actually SEES the product.
Leave that image where you placed it, but...
Bring another up close to the top...Maybe close to:
"What I uncovered was mind-blowing."
(I would have suggested putting it a little closer to the
headline, but it'll just compete with the banner. They
have the same design colours).
You're being stingy in your description of the bonuses.
Don't be afraid to spell out the benefits of each. Put
a little colour (I said colour, not hype) into each
description.
I'm not a big fan of:
"Click here to learn how you can get 20% off this amazing offer!"
Why are you taking me off the sales page, after you had me read
your sales copy? Let's assume I've gotten this far. This means
that I'm interested in at least learning what I have to do to
get my hands on this great ebook.
Don't distract me.
I may not return.
The survey thingee is a great idea...in the WRONG PLACE!
Your website should be focused on one thing and one thing only...
Show me how to place my order NOW, after you've gone to the
trouble of selling me.
Your Buy now must be strong and easily spotted and must
be the next natural step.
So, place some sort of "buy now" button which will smoothly
transition me to the credit card processing page.
Some gurus attempt to muddy the waters here also by trying
to sell again prior to the actual credit card form.
I don't agree with that strategy.
Sell me first. If you haven't done a good job in selling me
via the sales letter, you're NOT going to sell me with surveys,
and "tie-downs" and such.
I like the P.S and PPs. and the PPPSs. Great! The only problem is,
the order link should NOT be used in them.
Ask for my order BEFORE your sig. If you wish you can
add a couple of P.Ss. By the way, P.S should offer additional
information which may be of some value.
Try not to simply give words of wisdom or encouragement.
Use a PS like this: "By the way, I know that some people
would additionally like to have this on a CD. If you're one
of those individuals, I'll gladly make this product specially
for you.
Just send me an email to: blah@blahblah.com
I'll make certain you get a CD.
P.P.S - (Another practical application, or free limited
time offer)
I do hope I was able to help (and encourag) you with these suggestions.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity.
God bless.
Brent Whinfield