I am trying to finish this direct sales letter. I have used law-offices as the target business for the sake of anonymity here. I will appreciate any feedback any one can provide on this! Grammatical, syntax, conceptual ... any thing??
===============
December 20, 2003
111-11 Sheila Ave
North Pole
Southern Hemisphere
Dear Mr. XXXX,
Does your law office run an online website? Can you afford to stay behind your competitors on the information highway?
I can help you catch up. Being available locally in New York and the considerable experience in creating and maintaining websites we bring, you can really use it to your advantage.
The hard-work has already been done and it is now time for you to take advantage of it. I have already searched for a personalized internet address and email that you may use to create and maintain a fully-functional website for your law office:
Your personalized website address: www.yourdomain.com
Your personalized email address: yourname@yourdomain.com
With a website you will:
• Have a 24 x 7 x 365 office.
• Answer your clients’ most frequently asked questions without human interaction.
• Provide value-added services.
• Reach more people with your services.
• Gain public awareness of your law office.
• Accept payments online for client’s ease.
• Share knowledge / information.
• Use it as an effective marketing tool.
Take advantage and register your personalized internet address for just $XX.XX per month. If you decide to go ahead with this, I will even have your web site created and maintained for free, just to get you started! I will also give you a, 30 day money back guarantee because I know you will never regret your decision.
With over 30,000 internet addresses registered daily you run the risk of letting some one take away your personalized address. Just call me at 1-800-888-XXXX or email me at XXX@XXXXXX.XXX and ask for XXX and I will make sure your web site gets up and running as soon as possible.
With best regards,
XXXXXXXMy Name
XXXXXXXXXXXXCompany