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Medication
by Jack (no login)
Is anyone out there being prescribed desoxyn? I've been on and off of ritalin for the past year. I've done provigil--feel sick and can't afford it. I can't seem to feel very good on ritalin for long. I mostly just want to sit calmly and daydream till it wears off enough for me to take a nap. I've had a job for over a year now and I'm watching less competent people pass me up because I'm not with it enough to show them who I really am. I am relegated to grunt work because they just think I'm weird/retarded. I take it because my esteem is shot and I can't muster much competence while actively sick with this disease. When I get really tired I get very busy moving at work(it's an active job). I try to literally out run my tiredness. Sometimes when talking to customers I can't come up with the words or thoughts and then I become so embarrassed I spiral down. I can't stand people judging me negatively and mistreating me/discounting me because of this illness. I feel very alone and hurt because of this. It's made me a hermit because I'm not fun to be around. When I was first diagnosed I was just tired. Now, not only am I tired but I am very tired of my life with the illness. It's worn out any good feelings of hope for a future.