[FADE in to JOEY STYLES standing in a courtroom in front of the Judge's bench. As he begins to speak, he walks slowly toward the camera.]
STYLES: Are you in trouble with the law? Do you need legal representation? Do you want the toughest damn lawyer money can buy?
[STYLES stops walking at table. Camera pans left, placing STYLES on the right hand side of screen. INSET picture screen fades into view on left-hand side of screen.]
STYLES: If you need the toughest damn lawyer, you need Terry Funk.
[A picture of TERRY FUNK in a suit (from "Road House") appears on the inset screen.]
STYLES: Terry Funk has been fighting harder than anyone for years.
[Footage from Funk's most violent matches (including matches with Mick Foley and Sabu, as well as obviously Japanese footage) begin to play on the inset screen.]
STYLES: Terry Funk is internationally known for his tenacity and his "never-say-die" attitude. He's fought and won some of the most grueling battles any man has ever faced. Terry Funk is a hardcore legend.
[Inset screen disappears. Camera pans back to STYLES at center.]
STYLES: Now let Terry Funk fight for you in the courtroom.
[Camera angle changes to wide shot of front of courtroom. TERRY FUNK is manhandling four lawyers and has barbed wire wrapped around his forearm to use as a weapon while the jury and the DEFENDANT (TERRY FUNK's client) cheers and the PLAINTIFF looks around at his seat at the other table, obviously terrified. The JUDGE stands and pulls off his robe to expose a referee's striped shirt underneath.]
STYLES: He's been around the world and fought the toughest opponents. Terry Funk is the representation you need to win your case in court.
[FUNK has laid out all the lawyers and has gone up to the table where the PLAINTIFF sits. The PLAINTIFF stands up and hits FUNK in the jaw. FUNK no-sells, grabs the CLIENT and piledrives him through the table.
STYLES: OH MY GOD!
[The JUDGE comes around the bench and counts three. The DEFENDANT jumps up from his seat and walks over to FUNK. As he attempts to shake FUNK's hand, the JUDGE stands and holds up the arms of FUNK and DEFENDANT. A bell rings in the background and the JURY is chanting TERRY FUNK's name.]
STYLES: Terry Funk may be the toughest S.O.B. you'll ever meet. Don't you want him on your side?
[SCREEN OVERLAY: "Terry Funk: He's the Toughest. (555)222-FUNK." FADE to black with overlay still present.]
Posted on Jun 18, 2002, 9:29 AM from IP address 143.166.99.87