Mom: Who wants +3% Fire Resistance? Kids: I do! I do!
by Chimera
>
> Chapter 3: The big cheese and Kagato?
ONIKO: Yep, Adam's cheesy all right.
-->VIPER: So a slice of Gorgonzola and a megalomaniac walk into a bar...
MAX <Kagato, megalomaniac>: I'll get you, you Big. Red. Cheese!
>
> Adam arrived at the samurai pizza cats parlour
MAX: ...you know, it's been so long that I'm almost willing to tolerate Adam for the sake of seeing Samurai Pizza Cats.
ONIKO: You should. It's almost a religious activity.
> the big cheeses latest weapon, a giant dog-man with a pin-wheel saw
> as a weapon
ALAIR <singing>: Pinwheel, pinwheel, spin it around...
BRANDT: And it's wearing a beanie too! Aw, how cute.
> and above it looked like a ship that resembled the
> Galoob,
SHERL: So if it wasn't the Galoob, what WAS it? The USS Nose Nugget!?
BRANDT: Nah, it's just the Boolag.
VIPER: Wasn't that the punishment Mad Max recieved in 'Beyond Thunderdome' for breaking a deal?
BRANDT: You're asking ME?
ALAIR: No, no, that's what a ghost gets when it's scaring somebody over the internet and net traffic is thick!
BRANDT: Uh, I don't think...
THIEF: Nah, isn't that a critter that Horton saw? The Bistillimous Black-balled Boolag or some fucking thing?
BRANDT: I'm pretty sure-
MAX: Perhaps it's one of about a hundred obscure cities in Middle Earth which Tolkien never used.
BRANDT: Actually, it's-
ONIKO: Is it that thing? With the other thing, and the stuff?
BRANDT: Yes! Exactly!
ONIKO: [nods] Thought so.
-->[Call it an alternate version of the old guessing game. -Chimera]
> "oh, good your here! Polly and Speedy are trapped inside the
> flying machine following the robot, Gudio was the only one that
> escaped,
ONIKO <Adam>: What about the trainee pizza cats?
MAX <Polly>: Can you honestly remember all their names and powers?
ONIKO <Adam>: ...no, ma'am.
MAX <Polly>: Then you wouldn't write about them, would you?
> the supreme catatonic was disabled and the guy piolting the
> ship looks like Dracula on that tape we watched a while back,
VIPER <Adam>: You mean the one the audience wasn't privy to?
-->BRANDT <Francine>: Yeah, that one.
-->[AND/OR]
ALT-->BRANDT: Ah, it's just the security tapes. Dracula's been stealing condiment bottles again... the ketchup just confuses the poor creature.
> execpt
> he had grey hair, green eyes, and wore white gloves" said Francine,
ALAIR: ...so he looks nothing like Dracula, then.
BRANDT <distant>: Just another pallete swap... Everyone's just another pallete swap...
> Adam changed into Kagato and said "Francine, does this look like the
> guy?" "yes, just like that" Adam changed back and sort of shrunk.
VIPER: As Francine squeezed an enitre tube of Preparation H into his mouth.
BRANDT <Adam, singing>: I'm not half the man I used to be...
ONIKO: You fool! The label says not to wash him in hot water!
ALAIR: At least nobody forgot their red socks in the washer with him.
> "well what are we waiting for?" asked Guido Anchovy, "I think we had
> better call for reinforcements, cause this bastards tough, I just
> killed an army of 'em"
ALAIR: Then how tough can he possibly be?
-->MAX <Adam>: I killed seven with one blow!
-->OTHERS: *Seven?!*
NEW-->BRANDT <hesitantly>: ...Ford tough?
NEW-->ALAIR: Good enough.
[Well, we did this exact one... offering yet another alternative. -Chimera]
> "hold on a minute, did you say an army, man
ONIKO: Yes. And on that point, where is the demand for those games coming from?
> I wish I had been there"
BRANDT <Guido>: -so I could stand around uselessly while you did all the actual heroics.
ALAIR: I think Adam was saying that line.
BRANDT: I know, but I'm having a LOT of trouble caring.
> suddenly a voice was heard "Adam, Ryoko want's
> to speak to you" "put her through",
THIEF <voice>: Through what? The wall? Or Boot Camp- [normal] Mmm, Ryoko in uniform...
ONIKO: Hey, put that thing away, at least until I get my pants back!
> then the voice changed in to
> Ryoko's "Adam, what's going on?" "I found Kagato, he's flying around
> outside as I speak"
BRANDT <Kagato, singing>: Watch me now, here I go! It's easier than pie!
ALAIR: He can fly!
MAX: He can fly!
SHERL: He flew!
BRANDT <Kagato, singing>: Now you try!
> there was silence followed by an explosion
MAX: Is it just me, or are all moments of silence in this fic followed by explosions?
ONIKO: Beats Adam's stellar conversational skills.
> "what
> the?!" said Francine and Guido simuatiniously, and Ryoko's voice was
> heard "Adam are you alright? answer me!" "yeah, I'm fine" and with
> that he left the parlour
VIPER: Whoa, whoa, parLOUR? This explains so much, Adam's a Brit-
THIEF: Did it.
VIPER: What?
THIEF: [hands over the racist checklist] See?
VIPER: Ooooh. [clears his throat] You... you mean, jerky Mexicans!
[Pause.]
THIEF: [snatches back the checklist] You're forbidden from participating.
VIPER: Awww...
> heading for the royal pandogla,
ONIKO: Whoa! Should we be seeing the king with his pants down like that?
ALAIR: I'm pretty sure that's not what a pandogla is. ...I hope.
> along the
> way he noticed a small boy was following him,
VIPER <Ralph>: Okay, one time, okay, one time Randy Beaman dreamt he was eating this giant marshmellow, and then when he woke up his pillow was GONE.
[Pause.]
VIPER <Ralph>: Okay, bye.
-->[The kid's name Randy BeamAN. And the kid who gives the speech in question is named Ralph. -Sherlock]
> he took a corner and
> when the boy came round Adam discovered that the boy was a exact
> replicant of Tenchi
MAX: Then Rick Deckard ran in and shot it full of holes.
ONIKO <singing>: Konya wa hurricane...
ALAIR: Wrong Replicants.
> "why, hello there" it said summoning a
> lightsword, Adam just stood ther and quick as a flash,
BRANDT: -he continued to just stand ther!
MAX: Maybe Adam's confusing the Tenchi-child-bot with a bear, and he's trying to play dead.
BRANDT: Yeah, I've done that.
> he grabbed the
> robot, ripped its head off and then dismembered it.
ALAIR <robot>: I just wanted a friend... was that so wrong? *sniffle*
SHERL: You know, it's an odd thought, but something about the Adam/Tenchi dynamic really makes me think of Single White Female...
-->[Whoever wrote the above is pretty much on the dot there. Good show, old bean. -Chimera]
> "there that was
> fun" said Adam
THIEF: Sure, for you maybe, but what about us? What about our needs? [sniff] I want to rip the head off a replicant/robot. [pouts]
> and he contined his journy, then the giant robot
> attacked him blowing him away with a barrage of
VIPER: -broken wind.
ALAIR: Does that mean the robot was actually Colonel Gaddafi?
> missles "hahahaha,
> that, that you pile of execrement,"
VIPER <Giant Robot>: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Pthbb! Pthbbb! Pthbbbb! [smacks lips]
> "you b..b.bastard!
ONIKO: Similar in make to a b.b. gun!
> you killed
> him, when I get free you will pay!" screamed Polly esther, while
> Speedy cerviche
THIEF: Speedy Cervix? I like the sound of that.
[OR]
THIEF: Speedy Cervix? That should make Pap Smears fun.
> just looked at the screen where the ground was still
> smoking. "ooyyaajjii!" was heard,
ALAIR: -and Dan was promptly kicked right back out of the story.
BRANDT: What does Adam's father have to do with anything? Shouldn't he be yelling "Lloouuiissee" instead?
> and suddenly red lights started to
> flash, "no, it can't be!"
ALL <Robot>: I am invincible!
SHERL: After that point, death was almost instantaneous.
> and then on the monitor, walking out of the
> smoke was Adam wearing his solid armour,
-->MAX: Oh, you think you're badass because you can strap Snake around yourself like a bulletproof vest...
-->ALAIR: As opposed to what? His gaseous armor? His liquid armor?
-->[OR]
ALAIR: As opposed to what? His gaseous armor? His liquid armor?
VIPER <sagely>: No, as opposed to wearing his solid snake.
ALAIR: [blinks] Ewwwwww.
> closing the cannon on his
> wrist, he
ALAIR <irritated>: -said his moronic line though there's no point in it, had a pointless fight that lasted two seconds long, et cetera, ad nauseum, ad infinitum.
BRANDT: Hey! Don't spoil it for me, now!
> spoke "you cannot kill
-->SHERL <Adam>: -what is already dead.
ALAIR <Kabuki>: -time without injuring eternity.
> me, for I am
MAX <Adam>: -blatantly godmoding.
[ONIKO pulls out a laptop and looks over the screen, which is covered in vertically scrolling lines of green text.]
ONIKO: Oh, here's the problem. Some joker typed "IDDQD" in there when nobody was looking.
> death"
MAX <confused>: He only recited half of his speach. Does that still count?
> and with great
> speed he closed the ground between him and the robot in mere secomds.
ALAIR: Secomd - a past-tense Ebonics phrase meaning 'to submit'.
THIEF: Secomd - when you've already shot your load but the bitch is so good you already want more.
ONIKO: Whoa, doesn't THAT put a new spin on this fight scene?
-->[Not sure if that line I did with Alair can be gotten by human beings... -Chimera]
> "if you want you friends unharmed, then let me continue"
ALAIR <Adam>: -and me without any more quarters... damn you, bubblegum machine! Damn you, says I!
> "no, don't
> do it Adam" said Polly, Kagato turned with lightning speed and
> slapped Polly,
MAX: And yet this all occurred super-slowly, complete with a freeze-pan.
VIPER <Polly>: HEY! When the hell'd you get here?
MAX <Kagato>: The idiots cut the scene in editing. I told them they'd lose the audience, but ohhh noooo! They wanted *action*! [mutters] Lousy artists.
> knocking her unconcious "you bastard" said Speedy in
> contempt,
BRANDT: Wow, he is fast! He outspoke the period!
SHERL <Speedy>: Why, when *I* slap her, she...
-->[Added a comma here^. -Sherlock]
> Adam saw this through a holographic screen Kagato had
> projected, "you will die for rasing a hand and a lady
BRANDT: What a vile fiend, rasing both a hand and a lady like that.
ONIKO <Adam>: OMG Princess Maker is 4 FAGS!!!!!11111
> and because it
> was Polly, you will DIE"
ALAIR <Adam>: Also, you will DIE. Oh, and I almost forgot: you will die.
VIPER <Kagato>: I'm noticing a pattern here...
ONIKO <Adam>: Die die grr death black badassery angst.
> and with amazing speed he smashed through
> the robot
MAX: This'd be the wrong time to be singing "Interplanetary", right?
SHERL: Missed your chance. [tisks]
> and straight into the cockpit of the ship "well, well
> lokked what the cat dragged in" said Kagato, looking at
SHERL: -the dead bird on his doorstep.
> Adam in his
> solid armour, "I don't want to mess up the brilint paint job,
BRANDT: Since the author can't be bothered to actually describe the brilint paint job, I believe that I'll imagine it as being hot pink with day-glo green piping down the limbs and a neon yellow smiley face on the chest.
ONIKO: I swear, you are the fucking DEVIL.
[Pause.]
ONIKO: S' the only thing I like about you.
> but you
> must die" Kagato said swinging a plasma blade at Adam who doged as if
> it was a feather
ALAIR: He dodged it as if it were a feather?... I don't get it.
MAX: I feel you.
> and then got twin blades to sprout from the wrists
VIPER: Hey, I was right. I does have an adamantium skeleton.
SHERL: I guess he *likes* the feeling of blood gushing from the veins in his arms.
> and soon they were going tooth and nail when Adam saw an opening and
> he drove a blade throught Kagato's side "aahh! playtime is over,
ALAIR <Iori>: Cry, scream, then die!
VIPER <Dracula>: Grant me POWERRRRR!!
MAX <Magneto>: Magnetic Tempest!
> bio-booster activation"
MAX: [shrugs] Close enough.
> suddenly Kagato was engulfed in bio-armour
> "These 'guyver' units are amazing are they not?" asked Kagato
ALAIR: They kind of remind me of Power Rangers, to be honest.
BRANDT: They're also a dime a dozen, by the looks of it.
> as he knocked Adam down as if he was a kitten.
SHERL: MEW.
THIEF: Well, I could've told them he was a fucking pussy.
> Kagato was beating the hell
> out of Adam
[ALL blink.]
ONIKO: I know this isn't going to last, but... [pulls out a pair of fans and begins cheering] GO KAGATO!
ALAIR: What the hell. [stands on her chair and shouts] Hit him in the head! Kick him in the knee! Poke him in the eye so he can't see!
-->[OR]
[ALL wildly wave 'GO KAGATO' flags.]
ALL <chanting>: KAGATO, KAGATO, HE'S OUR DUDE, BEAT UP THE SI WHO'S RUDE!
-->[Alternatively, we can mix them somehow. -Chimera]
> when suddenly he turned and there was Gudio standing
> there with blood dripping off his sword,
BRANDT: Hm... he's a side character, so he can't actually DO anything. Thus, I'm forced to conclude that his sword cut itself shaving.
> Kagato looked down at his
> wound
ONIKO: Oops. Premature rifferation on Brandt's part.
BRANDT <formal>: I am filled with shame. [bows]
> and laughed as it healed back up with great speed "fool" he
> said as he hurled Guido across the room,
ALAIR <Guido>: Well that's my part on today's show, kids. I hope you all enjoyed it!
SHERL <Adam>: Hey, Camera Man! Get. Back. To. Me!
> when he landed he was
> unconcious "what, what happened?" asked Polly as she came round to
> see the tangled mess that was Guido,
THIEF: -Adam and Kagato engaged in a threesome. It was yaoi for the ages.
> and behind him was a strange
> green guyver standing over Adam in his solid armour.
MAS: Why does he keep reminding us? Does anyone here have any preconceptions that armor's going to be anything but solid?
> "the end is
> near, for you death" Kagato said mockingly
VIPER <Kagato>: -for I have discovered the secret to immortality!
ONIKO <Adam>: NO! If everybody is immortal, then Death doesn't exist!
[ONIKO crumbles into a pile of Castlevania action figures.]
> "well it isn't over yet"
> Adam replied, puching Kagato in the chest, which resulted in Kagato
> flying through the air,
ALAIR <singing>: He flies through the air with the greatest of ease...
> and he landed on his feet "ha, I
> underestimated you, again, now die" said Kagato powering up the mega
> smasher,
BRANDT <Kagato>: So obviously, having once learned my lesson about not over-estimating you, I shall over-estimate you once more! Haha! I am invincible!
> Adam just stood there as the mega smasher fired and opened
> his torso to reveal a mega smasher type weapon
VIPER <idly>: So what's a mega smasher?
ALAIR <building a castle out of empty popcorn boxes and drink cups>: Don't know, don't care.
> and he absorbed the
> blast and returned fire, "nnnooo, I am defeated again!"
MAX <Mojo Jojo>: CURRRRRSSSEEEEESS!
> screamed
> Kagato as he and half the ship was vaporised,
VIPER: Woah, since when did Guyvers have the G-Darius Alpha Beam?
> Adam turned to Polly
> and said "you ok?" Polly just nodded blushing,
ONIKO: His Aura of Smooth got her in the midst of a life or death struggle taking place over the mangled body of Guido. Now that's impressive.
> Adam freed the two
> pizza cats and then checked on Guido before turning around and saying
> "well, he'll need an asprin, a few days off work and plenty of rest,
ALAIR: Dr. Adam Hauser, M.D.
BRANDT <Adam>: Do you concur?
SHERL <Polly>: Concur? Concur with what?
BRANDT <Adam>: Concur with the diagnosis.
> and Polly you need a" he came over and whispered the rest into her
> ear, which made her go even more red,
VIPER <Polly>: But where would I put a full-scale model of the Titanic?
> "well, I gotta go" he said
> turning away, recalling the armour and putting his hat back on,
SHERL: Whoa! When did he take his hat OFF?
BRANDT: Well, there goes the big reveal of finally seeing his face. The author probably just took that out when he realized that people weren't impressed to find out that Adam is really Diana Ross.
> he
> turned, waved goodbye and opened a portal and left.
>
> chapter 4: I'm sick of this crap
ONIKO, MAX, and VIPER: Then stop writing it!
ALAIR: I'll drink to that.
>
> Adam walked through the portal expecting to find dinner and Ryoko
> waiting for him
ONIKO <Man>: WOMAAAAN! GET ME MY SUPPER!
ALAIR <Wife>: [reading newspaper] Get it yourself, asshole.
BRANDT <Adam, reading>: Place tray on center rack. Peel back corner of foil expose tater tots.
-->[A little homage to my Aunt Carol, a cartoonist. -Sherlock]
-->[A little homage to Berke Breathed. -Cosmos]
-->[I've been using a pervert avatar too long, I thought you meant a whole different kind of tater tot for a second. -Chimera]
> but the house was completly empty and dinner wasn't
> even on the stove,
THIEF <Adam, southern accent>: [snaps his belt] Looks like I gots to remind ol' Ma o' her place. [spits]
> when Adam sat down he noticed a note with his name
> on it, he picked it up and it read:
ONIKO: "Had to go to store. Hot dogs are defrosting in the fridge. Love and kisses, Mom."
> 'please help us Kagato has
> captured all of us and will kill Tenchi if he finds you interfering.
> Ryoko.'
MAX <reading>: P.S. I love you.
ALAIR <Kagato>: All right, you're coming with me.
BRANDT <Ryoko>: Hold on while I write out this letter to Adam.
ALAIR <Kagato>: Oh, all right.
[Pause]
ALAIR <Kagato>: Done yet?
BRANDT <Ryoko>: Hang on, I'm grammar checking.
[Pause.]
ALAIR <Kagato>: *Now?*
BRANDT <Ryoko>: Wait, wait, I did it wrong. Can I borrow some white-out?
[ALAIR <Kagato> groans.]
> "That slimly s.o.b,
SHERL: Hey now, just because he doesn't need to diet doesn't mean you can cuss him out like that.
> he must pay for screwing up my love
> life!"
MOVED-->BRANDT: And that about says it all, actually.
> and with that Adam opened a portal to his garage
-->[Personally I think this should come right after 'life'. I mean, that's the big insight into Adam's character right there, moreso than the garage. -Chimera]
> and pushed a
> strange looking motorbike outside
MAX: How much you wanna bet that it's the Motoslave?
ALAIR: Either that or he nicked it from the biker mice from Mars.
> where he opened another portal and
> rode it through. Adam had soon located the ship althrough it was
> cloaked,
BRANDT: -a fact for which we are grateful-
> he pressed a button on the handle bars and suddenly where
> the bike was, there stood a big robot,
MAX: Oh my God, it's a Cyclone.
ONIKO: So he's bringing Robotech into this?
ALAIR: Just what this fic needs - big ships with even bigger weapons.
> looking around the robot used
> a blast of energy from its hand to pierice the sided of the ship, and
> the robot entered the ship.
[THIEF opens his mouth.]
ONIKO: Not in that way.
THIEF: Not in what way?
> Kagato was busy toying with Tenchi
[THIEF opens his mouth.]
ONIKO: Not in that way.
THIEF: DON'T MAKE ME BITE OUT YOUR EYES!
ONIKO: Psh. I'd just explode into a pile of Duckman brand glass eyes.
ALAIR <struggling to ignore THIEF>: Is it worth asking why everyone's suddenly having so much trouble with Kagato? Tenchi beat him, Yosho got within reach of it until Kagato sicced Ryoko against him, Ryoko could have taken him even with only a third of her energy gems if she hadn't had to worry about protecting Ayeka at the same time.
MAX <Adam>: No. No, it's not.
> to
> notice that on the screen the robot walked past a camera, "tell me
> how you summoned the light hawk wings!"
MAX <Tenchi>: Very carefully.
> "I don't know and neither
> does Washu"
ONIKO <Tenchi>: So NYAA!
> "so even the top scientst in the universe is stumped, how
> interesting"
BRANDT: Of course, in *this* universe, she's also stumped by a rucksack.
MAX: And by Adam's hat.
> "I know how he summoned them" came a voice issuing from
> the robot "really, how then?" "he just did" "who are you!" "a friend"
[A beat.]
MAX <voice>: Who's speaking?
ALAIR <voice>: I thought you were.
> was the reply "now let Tenchi and the others go and I will tell you
> how he really summoned the light hawk wings" "deal, goodbye Tenchi it
> was fun hurting you but all good things come to an end"
SHERL: Which is why we're sitting *here* watching *this.*
> and with that
> a hole opened up and Tenchi was pushed out of it,
BRANDT: Oh no! Somebody get Samus and ask her to bring her Portable Space-Time Warp to Garbageworld! But make sure to get the settings right this time.
> "Kagato, you
> bastard!" said the robot as he went to save Tenchi but Kagato stopped
> him
ONIKO: Uh, how?
BRANDT: Zoning laws. It's true, you can't fight City Hall.
> "tell me how or he dies" "here, I'll show you instead!" said the
> robot as the light hawk wings formed
MAX <bitterly>: Of course he can do that.
> but they were black
ONIKO: And probably angsty too.
> "what?!
> those are the night hawk wings!, how?"
[MAX facepalms and mutters some choice words under his breath.]
> was Kagato's last words as he
> was rendered into little pieces
ALAIR <Morte>: How many times must this fool die?
VIPER: So he turned Kagato into a bunch of flying polygonal chunks?
> as everyone watched from the wall,
> "wow, the night hawk wings, I though they were a myth but..." "just
ALAIR <Adam>: -something I made up on the spot.
> don't go nowhere, I'll save Tenchi and then come back and save you
> lot" and with that the robot burst through the base of the ship ang
> caught Tenchi a few feet off the ground
MAX: Of course, he still ended up breaking every bone in his body after slamming into the robot's arms. Catching someone doesn't completely cancel out the fact that they've still been falling for goodness knows how far, you know.
> "thanks, but you cut it
> rather close didn't you?" "well, thank you, stranger for just
> catching me and saving me from my death, for snaching me from the
> jaws of death"
BRANDT <Tenchi>: Yeah, uh, it's nice when... uh... look, I have no idea what the heck it is you just said.
> "hey, your Adam, in there aren't you?"
MAX <Tenchi>: I can tell because you're a JACKASS!
ALAIR <Zaphod Beeblebrox>: Yeah, but keep it down or they'll all want one.
> the robot just
> scratched it's head and said
VIPER <Robot>: -your guess is as good as mine, really.
> "well, I had better save the others, er,
> bye" and it flew off. "that was amazing, how did you summon the night
> hawk wings?"
THIEF <Adam>: Well, first I pulled it out my ass. ...that's about it.
> asked Washu, examining the robot as it freed the others,
> regretting letting Washu free first, he turned to her and said
VIPER <Adam>: -JOTEBTODLY!!
> "exactly the same way as Tenchi can summon the light hawk wings"
BRANDT <Washu>: Through heroic willpower, constant training, and an ironbound determination to save all the women whom he so dearly loved and could not bear to see harmed? ...nah, we know it's not THAT...
> "but
> you should know how you did it because you just did, and right on cue
> I might add" the robot turned away
BRANDT: Hey, does anybody mind if I sing that 'Ace of Base' song that'd go perfect right here?
ONIKO: [sigh] Go ahead.
BRANDT <singing>: I saw the sign, I opened up my eyes and saw the sign...
ONIKO: ...the fuck?
> and strode over to the control
> pannel and started to type exetremely fast
-->MAX <robot>: "It's been a while since I've updated my live journal and I just wanted to tell you guys that I still care about you. I'm currently donkey punching the Tenchi continuum in the name of my own self-wankering, but my thoughts always return to home and..."
-->[or]
VIPER <robot>: "Hi guys ^_^! I haven't updated my live journal for a while, but I've been busy with my gf ^_^. I met Kagato again, and he still wants to kill me a bunch. Why is he so mean;_;? Oh yeah, I got some new pics of my cat! =^_^=!!!"
ALAIR: You're hurting my brain again. Stop that.
> and suddenly the ship
> started to descend "how did you know how to.." "I read Kagato's mind
> and absorbed all his knowlage"
SHERL: No, that would be like Mr. Creote after eating the waffer-thin mint.
VIPER <Adam>: Now I're smartiest of all!
-->[That is the fat guy's name, right? -Sherlock]
> said the robot an the visor slid up
> "Adam! but why didn't you say that you could summon night hawk
> wings?"
SHERL: Like he's supposed to keep TRACK of all those powers? There's already an archival team working around the clock to keep the Adam Supernatural Power Database up to date.
> asked Washu shocked, surprised, feeling a whole lot of
> emotions.
> "Washu! he has
> just saved our lives AND Tenchi's and this is how you thank him?"
MAX: Of course it is. Don't you remember when Tenchi saved all of your lives?
ALAIR: These people are lucky if they remember their own names.
> said Ryoko, "no, but" replied Washu looking at the floor, "now girls,
> lets concentrate on getting off the ship" said Kiyone as the door
> opened "thank you for flying Asskicker flights, please don't bother
> again"
ALAIR <Mihoshi>: You got that right. That was the worst flight I've ever been on.
ONIKO: Horrible in-flight movie, awful toilets, cramped seats and food which tasted worse than its packaging. Of course I won't bother again!
> muttered Adam as he left the ship which took off again and
> shot into space where it exploded.
BRANDT: [nods sagely] Yes, I'm certain that a fully equipped starship full of the inventions of one of the greatest minds in the galaxy could not possibly have come in useful at some future date. Very wise move.
> Adam soon turned the robot back
> into a motorbike and got off,
THIEF: [shrugging] Hey, whatever floats his boat...
> opened a portal and pushed it through
> only to return driving a machine that looked like a land rover and a
> camper van in one,
ONIKO: No, that's just what happens when you park a truck on the docks before ordering an ambulance to be delivered from the ship.
> "right who wants a lift?" asked Adam leaning out
> of the drivers side winking at Ryoko who just gave him the finger.
SHERL: You know, the one she'd sliced off of him the last time he tried to cop a feel.
-->ONIKO: Permanently lowering his max hit points by two.
-->[OR]
ONIKO: -permanently lowering his max hit points by one. On the plus side he got Ignus' Charm and a +3% to Fire Resistance, though!
-->[While I love Planescape:Torment as much (or more) than the next guy, there's two problems here... (A) You only get -1 max HP, and (B) this seems too generic to be, er, 'gettable'. How about a slight refinement... -Chimera]
Posted on Dec 3, 2003, 3:04 PM from IP address 172.170.230.83