Yet another tiny fix. What was the stinger, though?
by Chimera
>
> Chapter 2:the curse of attraction
BRANDT: Such is the burden of poor Magnemite.
VIPER: At NERV labs, Ritsuko discovers that Adam sticks to a magnet.
>
> It was a bright sunny day when Adam went outside, a storm started to brew,
ONIKO: Look! His pointless angst even messed up the weather!
VIPER: The latest Konami game would soon sweep the world.
ALAIR <Molson bear>: *Blue*.
MAX and SHERL <Japanese Businessmen>: Brew!
> that can't be a good sign, thought Adam,
VIPER: Well, neither is that one, but you don't hear me whine about it.
[VIPER points to a very poorly made stop sign nearby. "Stop" is spelled "sttoop" and the colors are running into each other.]
ALAIR: How the *hell* -- wait, wait, I know, I know, don't think about it.
> as he turned around
> and entered the house it continued to stay stormy outside and then
> returned to normal,
ONIKO: Goddamn El Nino, screwing up the weather.
> when suddenly his phone rang with the three
> tones, which signalled it was home,
BRANDT <puzzled>: So how's he hearing it if it's at home?
> "Adam, come quick, the witches
> council want to see you"
MAX: What are the bets that he dated Sabrina?
SHERL: Adam's crossovers have all the subtlety of a flail.
> "ok, I'll be right there" Adam pressed a key
> and the phone hung up, "I wonder what they want?" though Adam out
> loud,
BRANDT <far too cheerfully>: That's right, Adam, talk to yourself. You don't need friends. You can be your own friend! Who needs other people! Other people will only laugh at you!
> he and the witches council never got along, and it was nothing
> new to be called before them,it was usually over something he had
> done in another world,
THIEF: They tend to frown on it when a 'champion of good' drags their personal conflicts into other universes and disrupts and/or kill its inhabitants, and warp their minds by revealing that they're fictional. Go figure.
ONIKO: Oh, but it's okay when YOU do it?
THIEF: Of course. Unlike Adam, I don't try to pretend I'm anything but purest evil. [smirk]
MAX: Oh, that just makes it all better.
> like he saved a woman from getting eaten by
> various creatures,
SHERL: He was supposed to let Perseus save Andromeda, damn it!
BRANDT: Oh please don't let him drag mythology into this.
ALAIR: One woman from various creatures? You don't suppose you might be getting in the way of evolution here, Adam?
> and when he was called in front of the council
> they tried to cut his powers off for two weeks
MAX <council leader>: For the crime of irrevocably warping the fate of the universe and irredeemable assholery, I sentence you... to not be God Himself for two weeks!
ONIKO <Adam>: Dear Jesus no! How will I handle not using my powers to cheat at Triple Triad with little girls!?
> but they used every
> spell they knew but it didn't work,
ALL: Of course.
SHERL: So it's like a really backwards, ineffective Green Lantern Council.
> Adam has also played the witches
> council at its own game and cast reflect on himself,
VIPER: Vvvvwwweeeeooooo.
SHERL <witch>: MY *EYES*!
MAX <Adam>: ...reflect the *spell*, not the light.
> and this cut the witches councils powers for three weeks,
MAX: Then the Witches' Council cast reflect on themselves and reflected whatever it was off of themselves over to Adam. Bitch.
BRANDT: Of course the minute reflect wore off they hit him with the 'Vanish/Doom' combo.
> which although landed him in some shit, he got away Scott free,
MAX: So even though it's a Final Fantasy-based magic system, they don't know Dispel?
VIPER: More importantly, where can I get a free Scott? I WANT A FREE SCOTT, DAMN IT!
[CYCLOPS suddenly appears in the theater.]
VIPER: ...except that one.
[CYCLOPS, muttering "dreams don't die" dejectedly, leaves.]
> "well, here I am"
VIPER <Adam, singing>: -to wreck the day! That means that Mighty Mouse is on his way!
BRANDT <singing>: I'm here drifting. Somewhere in the vast, somewhere in eternity! And I never want to leave...
> said Adam to himself, as he entered the large doors, a voice boomed out,
VIPER <booming voice>: GREETINGS, MORTAL. ARE YOU READY TO DIE?
> "Adam Asskicker you have been charged with interfering with mortals lives
> again,
ALAIR: [pales] Mortals. Witches... I think he's crossing in Bewitched here, guys.
> in another world, again, what do you have to say for yourself?"
ONIKO <Adam>: Bite me, it's fun.
> "That the people in question are: two alien princesses,
> two space pirates, a young half alien
MAX: Quarter alien.
ONIKO: Shame fanboy! Tenchi's actually descended from Yosho through both his Mother *and* through his Father, which makes him- [pauses, thinking] -some other fraction!
ALAIR: Talk about your Jerry Springer family trees.
> who is a prince of an alien
> world, a intergalactic genius,
BRANDT <voice>: -you mean, the one who can't remove a hat or open a duffel bag?
> two galaxy police officers, an alien
> prince and a spaceship."
SHERL <voice>: Not withstanding cases are the galaxy princess spaceship prince, and the princeship space-cess genius alien officer.
ALAIR: So I guess Tenchi's father and the guyvers just don't count.
THIEF: Of course not. They don't have tits.
ALAIR: Uh, but... he mentioned Tenchi and Yosho...
THIEF: You'd be amazed what they could hide under those robes.
> "You helped one Hwia Takahashi, did you
> not?" "No, I didn't, I tried to, but none of my cures would work
THIEF: Duh, asshole. Using YOU to heal somebody is like using the black plague to cure a hangnail.
> so I
> sent her friends on a quest to get the required items for a cure"
MAX: Though you still *tried* to, and I don't remember anyone else getting to do anything during that quest of yours.
> "other members of the council, how do you find Adam Asskicker",
SHERL <council member>: With both hands and a flashlight.
VIPER: Whoa. He managed to say it with a straight face. That's the most fearsome super power thus far demonstrated.
> a man stood up
ONIKO: A guy on a *witches'* council? Wow, that's affirmative action for you.
> after a while of discussion between the members of the
> council, "not guilty of interfering"
BRANDT: Apparently Adam put ten points into the Jury Tampering talent at character creation.
> "you may leave now, and I don't
> want you to be back here"
ALL: Join the club.
> "then stop summoning me"
BRANDT <absently>: You know, once I DID find an Adam summoning materia on one world. This blonde guy with a pilot's outfit and a spear took it for cracking walnuts with, and that was the last I saw of it.
[Long pause.]
SHERL: Okay, *what*!?
BRANDT: Nothing, nothing...
> said Adam turning
> away and leaving via a portal,
ALAIR: ...that was pointless.
ONIKO: Like every other scene in the fic?
> once back at Tenchi's place, he sat
> down
SHERL <Adam>: AAAAUGH! Who put these disease-smeared, poisoned punji spikes through my chair?
THIEF <Tenchi>: Oh, Adam, I have no idea! Perhaps someone just thought you'd like the new decoration. Here, I'll fix that, you scrub that filth off in the bathtub with this toaster and hair dryer.
SHERL <Adam>: Oh, okay!
> and started to type a few lines on his laptop chronicling his
> day so far.
MAX: So he's sitting down and typing about sitting down and typing... about sitting down and typing, and so on. Wow, it's like looking into the external cameras.
> "Hm, some fanfic, this is becoming a diary of what has
> happened." "In that case you shouldn't leave your computer lying
> around"
MAX <Washu>: -where Adam can get to it.
> said Washu coming out of the lab with a few people behind
> her,
THIEF: Frankly I thought it'd be Ryoko who was pulling the train, but what the hell.
> Adam heard but didn't turn around, when suddenly he smelt a
> familiar perfume.
VIPER: He who smelt it, uh... applied it?
SHERL <Adam>: Oh no! It's Poison Ivy! *guuurck*
> "Urd!"
BRANDT <Garfield>: It was the strangest thing. He said "Urd!" and then left in the greatest of haste.
> he said as he shot out of the chair and was straight into the lake
THIEF <campy>: *Straight* into the lake? We know you better than that, girlfriend!
ALAIR: Unfortunately, the sonic boom and resulting massive build-up of air pressure ended up leveling the house.
> where he sat on the bottom and just relaxed.
ONIKO: What else do you sit on, apart from your bottom?
THIEF: True. C'mere so I can sit on your bottom. Especially in that skirt...
ONIKO: Don't make me give you a Powaa MoonHeart Wave, punk.
> "Thank god I got underwater Materia.
MAX: Note that even *Adam* doesn't consider Aquaman's powers worth giving to himself.
> At least I got away from Urd and Mara" said Adam as two fish swam past,
VIPER <Scottish>: I 'urd Andmara hur and nacht the noo!
> when suddenly he turned around
> and there was, to his horror, were Urd and Mara wearing oxygen masks,
> Urd waved,
BRANDT: -then her face split open to reveal a huge mouth and she offered to make him a crystal palace and make him king, if he only offered up the life of his first son a year after being born.
> while Mara started to swim over but couldn't catch Adam.
> He swam at lightning speed,
ALAIR: ...and the resultant force in the water surrounding him caused half the fish in the lake to die from acute trauma.
SHERL <Adam>: Again! Again, they've come after my sexy, sexy body! Curse me for being so beautiful!
> as soon as he hit the bank, he was out of
> the water and was heading for the shrine where he met Bellandy.
BRANDT: Belldandy's half-brother and further mutation of Verdande.
> "Hi, Bellandy" "hello Adam, you look as if the devil was on your tail"
[ALL look over at THIEF.]
THIEF: Psh. Like even I'd fuck Adam.
[ALL continue to look at THIEF.]
THIEF: Okay, okay, I did, but it was just to show the bitch his rightful place.
ONIKO: Sadly, Adam seems okay. You're slippin'.
> "something like that" said Adam as he stood listening for anyone
> approaching, and when he heard nothing he relaxed,
THIEF: That's right, kiddies! Adam endorses deafness! Deafness is cool! Deafness will make people like you! And it's so easy! You can get spikes down by the railroad tracks... don't mind the rust, that'll just add color!
> but still kept
> listening with his extra sharp hearing.
MAX <Adam>: What can I say? Somebody fifty miles away is playing Incubus music.
>
> Chapter 3: the fight for freedom
[A missile launcher descends from the ceiling, aimed at the riffers.]
LANCE <over intercom>: Don't get any ideas.
>
> At lunch, Adam said that he would sit outside and eat his lunch near
> the lake,
BRANDT <Adam>: That he would sit outside and eat his lunch near the lake.
ONIKO <Urd>: What an odd young man.
> so Urd and Mara decided that they were gonna sit outside,
> once Adam collected his lunch
ALAIR: -he gave it back to his wife to sell for seven gold pieces.
> he walked over to the edge of the
> platform and continued to walk across the air above the lake,
VIPER: That is *really* hard to do without the x-ray visor.
> once he
> was at the centre of the lake,
THIEF: Holy shit! LOOK!
OTHERS: What? What?
THIEF: He spelled it 'centre'! He's even more Brit than I thought! It explains so much about-
VIPER: We're doing Mexicans.
THIEF: -about how he's such a- what?
ONIKO <firmly>: Mexicans.
THIEF: Oh.
[Beat.]
THIEF: ...look at him there, taking a break! Just like a lazy goddamn Mexican! And look at all the beans in that lunch!
> he sat down in mid-air and started to
> eat his lunch to the surprise of everyone.
ALAIR <irritably>: What an attention seeker.
MAX <Tenchi>: He's not inflicting his company upon us!
SHERL <Urd>: Quick! Act surprised, maybe he'll stay out there longer!
> "He must of made an
> invisible bridge" said Mara,
MAX <threatening>: If she starts reading from her father's diary and mumbling about a 'leap from the lion's head'...
> bravely walking over to the exact spot
> where Adam walked over the water,
ALAIR: This, of course, means that Mara was wrong, and Adam cast Float.
ONIKO: Far be it from him to let any of the canon characters have their dignity.
> and she stepped off the platform as
> Adam said "I wouldn't try that if I was you",
BRANDT: But if you were her, than you could do it, since you could do it when you're you, and you clearly just did it and she saw you, and-
ONIKO <clutching his head>: Don't make my head explode, damnit! This is a new skirt!
> Mara soon regretted her
> ignorance when she hit the water, she broke
THIEF: -the water.
[Pause.]
[A railgun descends from the ceiling and strafes THIEF.]
> the surface and
> spluttered "how do you do that? You said you still couldn't
VIPER <Mara>: -do that on television.
> fly" Adam replied, "I can't, this is levitation"
ONIKO: For the purposes of disagreeing with Adam, I'm going to say the difference is too small to count anyway.
MAX: Splitting hairs for fun and profit, I see.
ALAIR: There are times when being right is a bad thing. This is one of them.
> and with that he stood up and
> walked over to the platform and took his plate back to Sasami
ONIKO: What, no psychic cleaning and drying powers? Wuss.
> and
> when he came back he helped Mara out of the water by levitating her
> on to the platform
BRANDT: You know what this means? Adam's a taxi driver.
SHERL: How the hell do you get that?
BRANDT: Well, he's a hack, and he's giving her a lift to the docks.
> and he walked over to the center of the lake again
> and started to meditate.
> Adam's concentration was broken when
> something hit him in the base of the skull,
[ALL cheer.]
SHERL <Adam>: Okay, who's the wise guy with the Howitzer?
> he started to descend and
> then he managed to float back up
ALL <singing>: You make me descend! But I float up again! You never gonna keep me descended!
> and floated to the side just before
> something impacted with his head. He turned in mid-air to find
MAX: -the shattered remnants of a brick which collided with his dense skull.
> a bunch of zianoids, each with what looked like oversized shoulder pads,
SHERL: The 'Hideo Shimazu' look is in apparently.
> and protruding from the pads were row upon row of spikes and
ALAIR: That's a rather nice detail. Considering we still don't know what the heck a zianoid looks like, I mean.
ONIKO: Apparently they look like LOD.
[ALL bow their heads for a moment of silence.]
> they released a volley on Adam, who moved with amazing speed.
MAX: What moved with amazing speed? The spikes, the Zianoids, or Adam?
VIPER <Karsh>: Yes.
[MAX growls.]
> "We can't mess up, otherwise we're mincemeat" said the one looking for
> Adam, "looks like we got him", he said turning to find that they
> hadn't but he had got them.
BRANDT: So our foe is someone who'll assume the hero is dead without even watching the attack or looking in the right direction to see the results?
VIPER: Maybe he's got sideview mirrors on his motorcycle-themed lingerie like that chick from that George Michael video!
ALAIR: Or he stole the mirror Captain Miller stuck to his knife bayonet with bubblegum during the Normandy invasion.
THIEF: Or they've convinced Mickey Finn and Mary Callahan to let them borrow the Lizard to scout for them.
MAX: Or he's a three-sided Wormface that escaped annihilation by the Council of the Three Galaxies.
SHERL: Or he just saw 'The Mummy' and he's got a huge network of mirrors set up to let him watch the action from the comfort of his chair.
ONIKO, VIPER: Not... THE COMFY CHAIR!?
ALAIR: See what you did, Sherlock?
SHERL: Sorry, sorry...
> "Checkmate" said Adam triumphantly as he
> fried the creature with the psycho crusher.
ONIKO <Adam as Bison>: What's the matter? You come to fight a boy, and instead find a god?
ALAIR <Andy>: That's not a checkmate.
MAX <Roger>: Checkmate.
ALAIR <Andy>: That's also not a checkmate. Why do you keep saying that?
MAX <Roger>: They say if you say it enough times, it comes true.
> Adam then returned to the
> others, and was greeted with Urd and Mara trying to see if he had
> sustained any injuries, which of course he hadn't.
ALL <deadpan>: Of course.
ALAIR and ONIKO <Urd and Mara>: [snap their fingers] Damn!
MAX: It would have been a different story if the "Zianoids" had hit him with a rucksack.
> Then Ryoko was teasing him about how Urd and Mara were acting,
ALAIR <Urd>: You mean the same way you and your housemates have been acting?
MAX <Ryoko>: Well... uh... I... um... shut up!
> Adam took it all in
THIEF: -without the aid of a good lubricant, even.
> and decided that he would leave while Bellandy and the others stayed,
ALAIR <singing>: So should I stay or should I go?
> saying that "the house was too small for him and all the girls",
MAX: Great, just what the Masaki household needed. More women who are into geeks with no semblance of a social life.
> "I know, we could stay in that sort of camper van thing outside"
ONIKO: OH! OH! OH DEAR LORD YES! THANK YOU! [suddenly races off]
MAX: What the fuck...?
[ONIKO runs back in, now wearing a battered orange ascot with his Sailor Scout uniform. He seats himself, nervously preening his hair, straightening his skirt, clearing his throat.]
ONIKO <Urd>: C'mon, gang! Let's take the Mystery Machine!
[SHERL bashes his head into the seat in front of him.]
BRANDT <Mara>: Rat's right, Red! C'mon, Raggy.
VIPER <Belldandy>: Far out! Like, first one there gets a Mara Snack!
ALT-->ALAIR <Yosho>: Wait up gang, I've lost my glasses again.
[MAX starts bashing his head into the seat ahead of him in time with SHERL.]
[I think we need to drop one of the Belldandy lines. -Cosmos]
> said Urd, with a smile that made Adam's flesh creep,
MAX: -right off the bone.
THIEF: Ooh, that means he's done. Where's the applesauce?
> "if its alright with
> Adam, of course" "hmm, oh, sure, knock yourselves out" said Adam
-->ALAIR: Except that they're aliens, so his response only served to confuse them.
BRANDT <Urd, uncertain>: Uh, well, thanks. Feel free to maim yourself too.
[I'm not familiar with Ah/Oh my Goddess!, but are they aliens? -Cosmos]
[That's okay, Brandt's line stands alone. Without the aid of Viagra, even. -Chimera]
> thinking to himself, 'or at least leave me alone',
VIPER <Adam, gothic>: No-one else understands my pain, so why should you?
> "on one condition,
> that you don't stress me, you can stay",
VIPER <muttering>: I'm already suffering from metal fatigue...
> Urd and Mara looked hurt,
> "would we ever stress you?" asked Mara, using the cute eyes trick,
> "in a word, yes" replied Adam, quick as a flash.
BRANDT <Adam>: In two words, "most certainly". In three, "to be sure". In four...
ALAIR <Urd>: Okay, I get the idea.
BRANDT <Adam>: -"you better believe it". In five words, "you bet your sweet patoot". In six words-
ALAIR: We GET IT.
ONIKO: Don't bother, once he's like this, there's not a lot anybody can do.
[Some time later...]
BRANDT <Adam>: In twenty-eight words and a trio of commas, "forsooth, you should definitely count on it, for it cannot be doubted anymore than one might doubt that on the morrow the sun will rise from the East." In twenty-nine wor-
[Pause.]
BRANDT: I'm sorry, where was I? Kind of spaced out there for a while...
MAX: Oh, don't worry abou-
BRANDT: Oh yeah! [Adam] In two words, "most certainly". In thr-
VIPER: GET HIM!
[ALL leap on BRANDT and gag him with ONIKO's wand.]
> Although Adam said
> that he would make them find somewhere else to stay, he didn't keep
> his promise as he maybe sarcastic, he maybe cheeky,
THIEF: [spits out ONIKO's wand] -he may need to be reminded of how a bitch is supposed to behave-
> but he was still a gentleman,
ALAIR: So he *didn't* keep his promise to find the Goddesses someplace other than a *camper* to sleep and this makes him a gentleman?
BRANDT: Chivalry *is* dead.
> a diamond in the rough.
SHERL: Damn it, now he's going to get the Genie too, isn't he?
ALAIR: ...Mister Author? This really isn't the sort of point you make by having the *narrator* step in and tell us.
> The next day was quite
> uneventful,
BRANDT: Considering the setting, this is easily the most unlikely, unbelievable thing the author's written yet.
> apart from the fact that Urd and Mara were bugging Adam
> like crazy and that Ryoko seemed to be enjoying every minute of it;
MAX <Ryoko>: Tee hee! I just *love* it when beautiful women hit on my guy!
> Tenchi was outside fishing with Keiichi. When suddenly, Adam shot
> past them and across the lake in about three seconds flat.
ONIKO: Hardcore writers don't use Action Replays.
SHERL <Adam, childish>: Hey! Hey! Hey guys! Watch me! Watch me! Are you watching? Watch me!
> Not long after Urd and Ryoko came out and were surprised that he was on the
> other side of the lake, he waved and sat down and to his dismay, he
> found Mara behind him,
VIPER: Urd and Mara enjoy the use of cartoon physics! Cool!
THIEF: Now how soon will one of them dress like a man to seduce him comedically?
> so he dived in to the water. Encasing himself
> in stone to get some peace and quiet,
ALAIR: He stole Mario's Tanuki suit!
> this lasted about 2 minutes as
> Adam heard Ryoko calling his name from outside the stone, "Adam,
MAX <Ryoko>: -all you have to do is wiggle the joystick to get free! What are you, a moron?
> you
> hear me? well, Washu want's to see you", Adam then freed himself
ONIKO <singing>: So set me free, set me free, set me free, set me FREEEE-
BRANDT: Er, shouldn't you be moving onto the next stanza?
ONIKO: That's pretty much the whole song.
> and
> teleported into Washu's lab. "So, your having fun with our visitors
> aren't you"
BRANDT: It DOES fill us with a certain joy to see Adam being tormented for once- oh, you weren't asking us.
> "just get to the point" said Adam.
THIEF <Washu>: How can I? Your pants are on- oh. Not THAT point. My bad.
> "My point is why won't
> you tell me how you summon the light and the night-hawk wings" said
> Washu.
MAX <announcer voice>: Just when you thought it was dead and buried...
VIPER <movie hero>: There, it's done, gone once and for all!
ALAIR <love interest>: Thank God, Jake! Now we can start a family!
MAX <announcer voice>: The terror returns once more, to stalk and kill its victims for the only thing that will slake its horrible hunger... innocence!
ONIKO <generic victim>: Oh no! It's got me! AAAH! IT'S IN MY HEAD!
VIPER <movie hero>: Shit! It got Oniko!
BRANDT <Ripley>: Get away from her you BITCH!
[ALL do monster shrieks.]
MAX <announcer voice>: Coming to a theater this summer... The Revenge of the Idiotic Subplot That Wouldn't Die!
VIPER <movie hero>: LET'S ROOOOCK!
MAX <announcer voice>: And this time... it's personal.
> "I told you I know how, not why"
BRANDT <Washu>: Uh, but... I just ASKED how... or did I? Confound you and your brilliant confusion techniques, Adam!
> "then tell me how" "when I
> get a new power, I already know how to use it, its not like I get it
> and don't have any control"
MAX <Adam>: -thus removing the training period which provides an easy method of informing the audience of what I can do and good character development, as well as destroying the drama inherent to the interim period where the character's command of his powers is incomplete... oh yeah, and making me even MORE of a boring munchkin.
> "Then how do YOU make them appear?"
VIPER <curious>: Why DO birds suddenly appear, every time that you're near?
BRANDT: Just like me, they long to be close to you. [nod]
VIPER: Awww, thanks, Brandt!
BRANDT: Uh... yeah. Sure.
> "I
> just do when I need them, like Tenchi, but I have more control over
> them, I can summon them at will"
ALAIR <Washu>: So... not like Tenchi at all, then?
> "well, then in theory so can Tenchi"
> "but I always have more control of my powers that anyone else"
ALL: Of course.
SHERL <Adam, childish>: I'm the bestest!
VIPER <Washu>: Yes, yes, of course you are.
> "look,
> I spoke with Tenchi and he tried but couldn't,
THIEF: Well shit, Washu, maybe if you let him rest after each time you take another 'sample'.
> maybe you could teach
> him" "tried it, didn't work"
ONIKO: Man, Tenchi's such a loser, we don't even need to see him fail onscreen.
VIPER <Adam>: He keeps nodding off while I drone on and on about all sorts of unimportant things unrelated to the matter at hand hey just like this I mean sometimes I'll just go on and on and-
> "then give him your knowledge" "tried
> that too, I can only take knowledge, not give"
MAX: ...and nowhere is that more clear than here. I feel like my brains are being sucked out by the minute.
ONIKO: Uh, maybe that's because they are.
[MAX looks to his right. THIEF has a straw in MAX's ear and is sucking noisily.]
MAX: HOLYSHITSONOFABITCH!
[MAX wallops THIEF with his clamp, sending him and the straw flying.]
THIEF <flying away>: I can't help it if your brains taste so sweeeet...
[THIEF lands against the back wall and slides down.]
NEW-->MAX <wild-eyed>: Why didn't anyone warn me about that?
NEW-->ONIKO: [shrug] Actually, that's a new one on us.
NEW-->[ALL turn and look at THIEF. THIEF, halfway back to the riffers, grins widely. MAX twitches before getting up and using his clamp to smash the seats on either side of the riffers, preventing THIEF from sitting directly next to anyone. He resumes his seat, panting. THIEF pouts.]
> Washu sighed, "look, I
> know how it feels to be so close yet so far",
THIEF <Washu>: Ryoko and Mihoshi always just get themselves off, then roll over and go to sleep!
ONIKO <Adam, singing>: ...because in the eeeend, it doesn't even maaaa-DNNK!
[ONIKO clenches his teeth as a brick lands on his head.]
> said Adam putting a
> hand on Washu's shoulder. "I have read all my Tenchi manga <no need
> for Tenchi! >,
ALAIR: Apparently not.
> all my graphic novels, my Tenchi Encyclopaedia, and
> scoured the Internet and there is still no answer"
MAX: Um, actually it seems to have something to do with the fact that Tsunami rebuilt his body after Kagato destroyed Ryu-oh.
-->(I remember this from what I *think* was a canon book with an online translation. For the life of me, I can't remember the name of the book, though. -Pen}
-->[But is it Adam speaking, or Washu, or what? -Chimera]
[The last line seems to be Adam, I think. -Cosmos]
> "did you say Internet?" "Yes, I did, why?" "I invented it!"
VIPER <Al Gore>: I *beg* to differ!
BRANDT: Yeah, really! I was the one who invented it!
ALAIR: Oookay...
> "I forgot. You said
> that in." said Adam trying to remember,
ONIKO: That's right Adam, don't let a single opportunity to lord your knowledge of the fact that they're fictional pass you by.
> "its not important" said
> Washu turning and summoning her keyboard, "I keep meaning to ask you,
> how do you do that" "That's a secret,
VIPER: Y'know, if Washu got together with Xellos...
[ALL flinch.]
> and if I told you then it wouldn't be a secret"
MAX <Simon>: Oh come on, I promise I won't tell anyone.
SHERL <insane man>: B-b-but if I t-t-tell you, then the f-f-fairies will be mad at me!
> said Washu, hiding a smile, just then the house
> was rocked by an explosion,
VIPER <announcer>: HOUSE! Are you ready to ROCK?
OTHERS <House>: YEAH!
VIPER <announcer>: I can't HEEEAAAR YOUUU!
OTHERS <House>: YEAH!
VIPER <announcer>: Well, prepare to be rocked by... the EXPLOSION!
[ALL cheer wildly.]
> Ryoko then came through the portal that
> led to Washu's sub-space lab, "er, Washu you left one of your things
> lying, around and well."
THIEF <Ryoko>: -Mihoshi got ahold of it, and apparently it's stuck and run out of energy. So we're either going to need some lube to get it out, or a whole lot more batteries. She doesn't care which.
> "What?" "It sort of got damaged by Mara and
> Urd, because they was arguing who Adam liked more"
ONIKO <Ryoko>: Damaged meaning 'going to cause a massive implosion in about five se-
> "WHAT!?!, I'm
> gonna bust their heads open, I'll..." "Bring the thing to me Ryoko"
BRANDT <Washu>: Oh, and when you do... don't open it in the presence of any Nazis. Also, you'll want to not look at the light, no matter what happens.
> said Adam, holding Washu off the ground so she didn't do anything
> rash, Ryoko left and returned with a small piece of molten metal,
THIEF <Ryoko>: OH JESUS IT'S BURNING MY FINGERS! AAAAH!
ALAIR <Ryoko>: Found this in a crater in Onett. I wonder if it does anything?
> "here you go, are you sure you can fix it?" Adam just stared at her,
> "what do I have to do to prove that almost anything is possible
> around me?"
MAX <Ryoko>: Stop being such an arrogant blowhard?
VIPER <Adam>: I said *almost* anything is possible!
> "If you fix that, then I'll believe it". Adam lay the
> object on the table and
ALAIR: -the molten metal made the wood catch fire and it spread into an inferno which everyone but Adam escaped, and so they had to listen to his horrible shrieks as he was burned alive.
ONIKO: [pats ALAIR's hand gently] Live that dream, Alair.
ALAIR: Don't touch me until you've got some pants on.
> said, "what you are and what you were, I want
> you to return to the way things were" and as he finished the saying
> the object sort of regenerated,
SHERL: Only sorta. Not really.
> pulling matter from the air and
> growing back to what it was.
BRANDT: Simultaneously regrowing the Grey Mouser and making Washu die of 'matter deprivation'.
Posted on Jan 20, 2004, 11:53 PM from IP address 172.168.245.188