Where do them's be-a gettin' off a tellin' Miss Cleo that I can't be a-conspirin' wit' me workers to jack 'der markies connections up over-an for sixty dollars or more ?

Look, honies... yoyu couldn't keep a dollar in a stupid one's pocket if you sewedit in there with bailing wire.

An' sure an' me was only first in line to get it from them, you know.

What's me crime ?

There's a sucker born ev'ry minuite.

A fool and his money soon part, y'know.

How is that my fault ?


CALL me now !!

Thanks for your call...
...back to you, Ruff ......

Miss Cleo, I still believe in you! Can you tell me what I already know? That I am with a wonderful, loving, sexy man who is my soulmate and will love me till I die? Even though I know this already, I need to pay you $250.00 to tell me again. Is that okay with you?

Oh, okay, only the hamsters will love me? Why, you lying, fake-ass Jamaican bitch!!! I knew you were a fake!!!

Click.........

Naw. be-a calmin' down . me rarest of orchids..
I'll get me money from me freakin' dead beat...don'cha be a-worryin' , now....

but does he love you ?

...how much more have you got to spend ??

signs point to yes !!


yes!!!




definitely yes !!!





...and the expiration date was ???







Thanks for your call...
...back to you, Ruff ......

You mean there's an expiration date?? Well, I'll take him moldy, toothless, rotten, rancid, hairless, and soft.

I don't believe in expiration dates. That's something society invented. I want no part of it.

This call has expired........

Awww...Begora !!
An' sure an' me be a bangin me face into me blarney stone....

The cards, darlin'...they be a-tellin' me that your love is so an' after your sweet Irish heart...

oh....


and your lovin' beau be a sportin' a mop on he head what even the birdies be a nestin' in, lovvie...

the boy have WAY too much quaff, y'know !!


Thanks for your call...
...back to you, Ruff ......

...well, thank you Miss Cleo. Guess I'll have to start buying birdseed by the bushel!!:)

Dats a what me be a tryin' to tell ya, you know !!!

OK...


maybe the boy be a-lovin' you to you's bones...love...



but how much can you really take - a- birds-a-be-a-flyin' into your window, you know, just to get back home....???


And what should ye go on vacation, I must ask ???




Please, ana' I'm-a askin' ya just a few more dollars in me bonnie box, y'know...an' sure an' you'll-a-be-a feeling it soon !!!

You know...


aye !!! Me Lassie !!!



an'sure an' ya will !!!!




wicca came from the isles...




we know of these matters !!!






Thanks for your call...
...back to you, Ruff ......