Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 ... !!!

Hi everyone,

While hunting around the other day, I ran across an item that said Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 was going to be coming out on DVD on December 1st along with 2 other direct-to-video sequels of the original movie. Now Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 has 2 claims of distinction. One, it is directed by the well-known cult classic director Monte Hellman and 2) it stars our Robert.

Unfortunately, those are just about the only things in the plus column that can be said about the entire enterprise. Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 also stars Fishbowl Head Ricky (the top half of his head has been replaced by a glass bowl), a blind psychic heroine who screams (loudly) throughout most of the film, and a talented cast whose talent is pretty much totally wasted on this slasher/horror/ Christmas/screamer.

There are lots of Bob movies (especially some of the made-for-TV ones) that are far worthier of coming out on DVD before this one!!

O.K. SPOILER ALERT - if you've never seen this movie, I wrote a review back in 2000.

Now, Tatia was young and this was still in the early days of my being afflicted by Culpophilia (the hives and fever got much better later), and I was earnestly acquiring Culp videos wherever I could find them. eBay in those days was a treasure trove of Mom & Pop sellers and people cleaning out their attics - not like the commercial DVD sellers that inhabit eBay these days. And ... this was way before I also learned that mere common folk are not allowed the use of the personal-grammatical-familiar-tense "Bobby."

I often shared my new video discoveries on the FORUM in the form of reviews. Some of them fell under the category of BAD BOB MOVIES ... now, as a disclaimer, of course, "our" Bob is NEVER bad , but boy - some of the movies he was in - were!!


O.K. here's my review of Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 from 2000.


A "REALLY" BAD "BAD BOB MOVIE"
Tatia Loring
Date: 10/26/00

Hi all!

OK - to our main "feature" ...

A "REALLY" BAD "BAD BOB MOVIE"

I know, I know - Culp and Cosby had to grow as actors - they couldn't stay forever frozen in time as Kelly and Scotty - (well perhaps thanks to the wonders of videos and DVDs they do) ... and as I've said before, I will always think of Cosby as Scotty - and will never really forgive him for going on and doing that Dr. Huxtable thing (which of course he had a "modicum "of success with ... )

... but for the "Big Guy" - well I guess after watching all these different things he's been in - I'm a bit more accepting of Culp's continuing artistic career and his delving into and developing all these bizarre, unique, wonderful characters along the way ... yes, it would have been a shame if "Thomas Luther Price" had never seen the light of day under Culp's masterful and moving portrayal of him in "Hannie Caulder" - or even the charming, crazed Irish "Lester McInally" controlling his little portion of the world - and his opal - down in Australia in "Blue Lightning," and of course where would the 70s be if we didn't have the opportunity to share in Bob Sanders' sexual and psychological revelations in "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice" ....

BUT as we have all pointed out - that is only one side of the coin - and the other side has resulted in the wonderful "BAD BOB MOVIES" which I must admit I enjoy no end ... now this runs the gamut of pretty bad movies, to the "blink and you'll miss him" variety, to the "take the money and run" ones. Some are very funny, some are totally lame, and some just adorable - like "Joshua at Jericho" the biblical epic with Bob hiding behind a gigantic beard ... I'm telling you - you have to see this one!!! Anyway, in all fairness, Tatia always tries to keep in mind that an actor has to practice his craft ... that keeping up that lifestyle in Beverly Hills and surrounding environs is mighty expensive ... and being "too" selective for an actor may mean not working at all ... and one thing we all agree on is that "our man Culp" is a survivor - for which we are all extremely grateful!

... BUT ....

I finally came across a movie that is soooo BAD, as in the "epitome" of BADNESS, that we are talking about downright "dreadful" here - as in almost "painful" to watch! To backtrack a bit, I had seen this movie up on eBay many times and always ignored it. I am not a big fan of the "horror" genre - I know Freddy has his weekly manicure at "Grindstones R Us" and Jason wears a hockey mask, and they all have titles like "Scream Because I Know What You Were Doing Last Halloween but Were Too Stupid to Leave the House When the Axe Murderer Called and Told You You Were NOT Home Alone - Part 34! ... but that's about it - oh yes, and there's always some lame sexy girl constantly screaming loudly and annoyingly and they all get killed - usually with lots of blood and mess. OK - am I close??

Well, this little gem is entitled "Silent Night, Deadly Night - You Better Watch Out ...Part 3!!!" (1989) ... (Yes, the whole title fit on the cover of the video box - with enough room to still have Bob's name highlighted.) I had recently seen 2 interviews about this movie - one said it was bad, but had a charm of it's own and the other mentioned that Bob really tried to "act" in this thing. So, for the grand total of $1.99 (including shipping) I finally succumbed.


OH, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby - what were you thinking???






OK, here goes - Tatia will save you all $1.99 and share with you this epic story ... The "hero" of this little tale is Ricky - a totally deranged (yet amazingly efficient) killer - who must have been killed in Part 1 or Part 2 or in both Parts. He is now in a coma in Richard Beymer's lab in some hospital. Richard Beymer (who after losing his baby fat after "West Side Story" grew into a very handsome man and ended up on "Twin Peaks" doing bizarre things every week!) He continues here as the earnest/ or evil/ or idealistic/ or insane (probably all) Dr./scientist/researcher. Ricky has an upside-down fishbowl on the top of his head screwed into his skull and sealed with a metal ring - this holds his brain and assorted sloshing bodily fluids for you to view ... Ricky is not quite a happy camper ... because when he was a little boy, he had witnessed his Mom being raped and killed by Santa Claus. (No, I am not making this up!!!) Anyway, ever since then, Ricky has not been too fond of St. Nick and anything Christmas. So how do we know all this?? ... because earnest mad Doctor Beymer is running experiments where the beautiful blind psychic/telepathic/empathetic heroine - psychically mind-melds with Ricky. (As he later says, maybe he should just have left Ricky alone!!!)

Well, 'ol Ricky starts to stir a bit from his comatose state - responding to the sexy heroine's mind touching ... and when a drunken Santa stumbles into Ricky's hospital room, he comes-to and begins to move zombie-like across the room with his shuffling gait and eventually reaches Santa and kills him - Santa only had about 45 minutes to get out of there since Ricky doesn't really move too well! (No, Bob hasn't shown up yet!)

After her "lab" session with Dr. Beymer and Ricky, our heroine is going off to spend Christmas with her Granny (What! Did I forget to mention it is Christmas!!!! - the one season that freaks out 'ol fishbowl-head Ricky!!!) Her brother (played by Eric DaRe who also ends up on "Twin Peaks" the following year playing Leo - "the coma guy") is going to pick her up at the hospital - and while waiting for him to arrive - our beautiful, blind heroine has a run-in with the nasty hospital receptionist (do you think we can scratch one nasty hospital receptionist??) Big brother finally arrives wearing Dyan Cannon's hair from "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice" - this is not an exaggeration - it was her hair or a perfectly cloned version of it!!! As soon as they take off, here comes Ricky and his fishbowl slowly trudging down the hospital corridor in his cute little hospital gown and OH NO! he kills the nasty hospital receptionist - in the main lobby - without anyone happening to notice.

OK - finally Bob arrives in the movie - and he plays - surprise - the "police lieutenant!" Now Tatia has never said this before - EVER - about "our Bob" - but he wasn't looking that good, especially at the end - guess all that screaming and mayhem and brains in a fishbowl got to him ... (in the transcript of that Larry King interview Soapy Snide located for us - Bob says something about "being in pain and on drugs" for a long time because of his arthritis). OK - to give him the benefit of the doubt - let's just say he may not have been himself when he agreed to be in this thing and perhaps he needed the proceeds of his salary to pay for the "last" installment on his neck surgery that may have been scheduled for the very first thing the following morning -- well maybe??? (Or maybe all of the Culp kids needed braces or new shoes or something??) OK to re-cap so far ... dreadful plot, dreadful dialogue, dreadful make-up - lots and lots of screaming!

SO - Police Lt. Bob and Richard Beymer decide that Ricky must be "linked" to the heroine (who screams so much they should have enrolled her in the annual hog-calling contest) - and they drive together to locate Granny's house, which is in some little town far away. They have some "meaningful" exchange of thoughts (cough-cough) and after a scene I don't even want to mention, Beymer takes off in the car leaving Bob at the side of the road. NOW ... what would have been REALLY interesting - would have been to listen to their conversation when the cameras were NOT rolling - ala "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" - first they probably could have talked about their shared adventures starring with Natalie Wood in "class" productions, the state of their careers at this very point in time, and how quickly they could get out of there and to the nearest bar to get totally smashed so they wouldn't remember being in this thing!!!

To bring this all to a conclusion - everybody gets killed - including Granny, the brother, the brother's girlfriend who looked just like the blind heroine and confused everyone even more, Dr. Beymer, a gas station attendant, etc., etc. - ALL except screaming girl and Bob (I told you he was a survivor!!!) - Now if Chuang-Tzu, Thomas Luther Price, or Kelly Robinson just happened to be in the neighborhood and had a cross-bow, gun, or revolver available, Tatia has a few suggestions where they could aim it!!! For the finale of the movie, Ricky reappears at the end - though dead - in a tuxedo and his fishbowl all polished brightly and wishes everyone "A Happy New Year!"





Now to be fair - and Tatia is bending over backwards here - "The Big Guy" did redeem himself in the years following in many notable TV and movie outings - so he survived his encounters with Ricky and his Fishbowl head semi-unscathed ... and this little chapter of his career could easily have been safely buried away in used video stores - except for the wonders of eBay bringing it to each and every computer across the known world!!!

Anybody else willing to admit they saw this movie??? Don't leave me out here alone!!!

As ever,
Tatia

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As I've mentioned before, it really would be for the best if Bob stayed far, far away from Santa movies in any shape or form.


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HOLD ON!!! ~ ~ HOLD ON!! ~ ~ HOLD ON!!!

When I finished typing this up, I started hunting around the web to see if there were any photos of the movie I could use - AND - I hit the jackpot - the WHOLE MOVIE is up on YOUTUBE!! None of the cast's names are listed, so this never came up in a regular search. It appears some wonderful, diligent soul took the time to put this all together and posted it in August in 10 parts. The film runs 90 minutes. Part 10 is just a small bit of the ending credits. (Again, this is YOUTUBE - so watch as soon as you can, there are no guarantees how long it will be up.)

And this is a pretty clear copy for YOUTUBE. So break out the popcorn and a large Pepto-Bismol and Enjoy!!!!

I'll post the movie immediately following this.

As always,

Tatia



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