Does anyone know why its hard to take "outsiders" advice when it comes to your career?
Now that audition season has come around, of course, more rejections are coming in and I find it hard to hear advice on how to deal with these rejections. I'm sure we all experience the frustration of how difficult it can be to actually receive an audition and how in order to get an audition you have to have a) a connection or b) an impressive resume...but how do you get an impressive resume w/o a chance? When I vent my frustrations about this, I tend to get the "you have to try harder" or "stop complaing" advice. What people don't understand is that I am trying, and I'm not complaing nor am I going to give up. It's just a fact in this business and it makes me feel better to state it...I guess. It's just hard to hear advice from someone who has really no idea how it all works.
Does any of this make sense? haha! I may be rambling but just something that I tend to come across frequently and wondered if anyone else had the same issue and how they deal with it.
None of that is actually advice. And I think that's what's frustrating about those sorts of comments.
My favorite of these moments occurs in the play Greater Tuna. Connie Buhmiller has failed to be elected cheerleader for the fourth year in a row. Crying (comically) hysterically her mother attempts to console her. "That's okay you can always try again next year." Connie looks up and shrieks, "but Momma I'M A SENIOR!"
You should seek advice. From coaches. From ADs. Some program directors are open to giving feedback. Contact them by email and ask politely. But empty platitudes are meaningless.
One other thing. I think it's best to separate out what sorts of people are offering "advice" and why. Words of encouragement from people in the business as well as points you should work on can be valuable. Empty platitudes can be ignored. Bitchy comments call for a smackdown.
Houndentenor
"Unleash your ferocity on an unsuspecting world." -- Bette Midler
When I first started out, I felt like I wasn't good enough or experienced enough and felt the same way you do about auditions. I also decided I was going to be the youngest American singer at La Scala - oh dreams! However, I finally got into a program and then realized that I didn't get in other places because the companies I was sending out apps to had about 800 other apps on their desks to fill 12-30 spots. That wasn't my fault.
As for getting over the experience thing, I made opportunities for myself. I listed my goals and followed through with them: more cardio, consistent coloratura, more grounded chest voice, solid notes above the staff, in-depth character analysis. I auditioned for local theaters, I did musicals, I asked to sing with the University's choral stuff as a soloist. I did more local, regional things and it helped to beef up my resume. I also worked on my languages and took a few dance classes. I heeded advice from coaches and colleagues about rep changes and looked at new pieces so that my audition package doesn't include JUST the standards for mezzo.
There's one place I've auditioned for three times and haven't gotten in even though, according to alums and a few staff members of this house, I would be a perfect fit. But, if I'm not what they want, I look elsewhere. Just like everyone else, I haven't reached my ultimate singing dream, but I'm still singing and that's more than most people can say. This is certainly a stressful and frustrating time for all of us and we're all in the same boat. The fact is, we all won't get what we want, but that doesn't mean we aren't trying hard enough. It just means we have to look in unexpected places and do our thing elsewhere.
Do yourself a favor and give yourself a break. If you're working hard and giving your best every time, people notice. Even if it doesn't pay off this December, the music world is small enough that someone will take notice of your determination and dedication. If you have a deficiency in something, take the time to fix it and make it another strong point. I don't see your post as a complaint; this is what all of us think and go through and you're not alone.
Now that you've gotten a great (IMHO) motivational pep talk, go do something with it and best to you this season! I'll see you in the audition hallways at NOLA!
Thanks so much for you advice. I've come to realize that perhaps my goals are just too broad, I like the idea of really honing your skill during this early time in your career. At any time really, it's important to do these things. I've updated my website, starting more cardio, setting goals for each practice session, as well as a goal for the week.
Thanks for the advice, and the next time someone tells me that I need to work harder, I'll let them know that I'm doing just fine.
Toi Toi for a wonderful audition season!
This message has been edited by Boskp on Nov 13, 2009 1:12 PM
Your post reminds me alot about myself when I was just starting out.
Everyone told me how "Hard" is was, but in hindsight, I had NO idea exactly what that meant. I was always a hard worker - dedicated, motivated, a real over-achiever. It had always served me well during my student years, so I figured that that same attitude would help me to succeed in this career.
Hah.
What I didn't get is that you really can be good AND work that hard and still maybe not make it. I too have made many opportunities for myself. I've just released my second solo album (that I self produced), I have my own Christmas Caroling business, I do ALL kinds of performing stuff - opera, MT, operetta, jazz, oratorio. If it's an opportunity that might help me out, I take it. Have I hit it "big"? No - but I'm singing ALOT and that to me says something. Like many sopranos, I didn't get in to the YAP circuit. And I've done tons of shows where people ask me, "What are you doing here? You should be performing with much higher level companies." But it is what it is.
I don't mean to be discouraging, but the other way around. Work hard to find your own opportunities, but don't be too hard on yourself when things don't work out. And don't vent to 'civilians' - they'll never get it. That's what singer friends are for.
