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Longing

January 14 2003 at 1:09 PM
John  (no login)
from IP address 213.78.66.137

 
When I was quite young in my twenties I used to attend the Buddhist Society in Eccleston Square. The whole Buddhist atmosphere enchanted me. Things Indian enchanted me but I couldn't resonate truly with Hinduism it seemed too bizarre and belonged to all those Indians who were my neighbours in London. But I still felt drawn to the Indian scene as a hippy.
I thought I'd find a guru in India but I didn't. When I met deciples of Osho(Rajneesh) in London, their partying attitude won me over. I remember I was looking at the Freinds of the Western Buddhist Order's commune in the east end of London as a possible way forward but just at that moment I fell for Osho and his orange clad celebration.
Today I can say of all my associates most of them are at some stage of leaving this group or returning or like me hovering in a state of non committment but one thing is for sure Osho still resonates within.
From time to time as regular as clockwork the enchantment of the Buddha and things Buddhist arises in me again and I will pick up a book (often Oshos books on Buddhism) or go off to some place like the monastry in Hertfordshire or think about Samye Ling in Scotland or sink in to Buddhist literature when I'm on holiday in Sri Lanka but in the end what scares (and attracts me) are groups and rules and heirachies, so I slink off and just carry on hovering.
I am a gardener so in some way I think I've mastered the right livlihood! but then again I watch out for the money more than I do for the worms which fall under my spade!!
Sometimes I think my time will run out and another life will have been thrown away, other times I wallow in smug self satisfaction of being actually quite alright in the here and now - but I'm never quite sure.
Any how the latest enchantment is David Brazier's book New Buddhism which I found in Smiths whilst escaping from my girlfreind who was shopperholicking. I had never thought of Buddhism as a revolution or rebellion in quite that way , even though I have been told so many times by Osho I didn't see it in the Buddhist heirachichal church as a real live rebellion against society and its endless wastage. I am so excited at the thought I cant even read the book properly so I thought I'd release some energy on this website!
Greetings to all at The Amida Trust

Love

john

 
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 Re: LongingDharmavidyaJan 30, 2003, 10:00 AM
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