So, this evening, I had nothing better to do than to do what, I believe, most other people do. And that is, watch television. Let's look in the paper to see what is on. Nothing appeals. So, I worked my way through the Telegraph puzzles. After that, I had another look at the television programmes in the paper. It looked no better but, hey, repeats of "The Last of the Summer Wine" were on Yesterday. After reading for a bit, I got round to waching one of the episodes. It didn't seem as good as the first time round (30 years ago) and I fell asleep. I awoke and looked in the paper again and saw "Alive at the Apollo" on B.B.C.1. Desperately, I watched it for about 10 minutes and could not understand a word of it. I switched off before I fell asleep again. And now what? It is 11-30 p.m. and I am screaming my head off with boredome and the whiskey bottle is half empty. And the lesson is? Well, I have never relied on television to pass an evening before and I never will again.