1) Make us laugh. Or die trying.
2) Don't be surprised if you find yourself verbally pistol-whipped. It's all in the spirit of fun.
3) We want a helicopter...because hostage takers always ask for one in the movies, right? We don't ride no stinkin' buses. If you don't have a helicopter, make rotor noises by thumping on your chest while you linger, at least.
4) Don't be surprised if a cheese monkey mistakes you for a mate while you make rotor noises. Feed the cheese monkey at your own peril.
5) We're out of cheese. Bring cheese.
6) Papi's rule: Refrain from using the word "pussy" during negotiations, or risk the wrath of a scrawny Texan.
7) Take the feuding and flaming elsewhere. We're kinder, gentler hostage takers.
8) We want lots of bubble wrap. Stand-offs can be a bitch.
9) Run your cat through the shredder before entering. There's nothing like the sound of a screeching cat to break the tension.
10) Tell the SWAT team to keep their distance. But you're welcome to join in if you're new here. Don't be shy!
(Login bawdy) Forum Owner from IP address 64.230.121.42
So..Michael Jackson has his own movie production company now. Oh joy! In its first feature, Jacko himself is set to star as a guy who turns into a werewolf. Haven't we already seen this? Besides, what's creepier..a werewolf or Michael Jackson? Exactly.
Is it just me, or are scary movies just not scary anymore? Is it an age thing or are recent scary movies inferior to their predecessors? Movies like The Excorsist and The Omen gave me the willies. And Friday The Thirteenth, Hallowe'en and Nightmare On Elm Street were scary before being sequeled to death.
Maybe too much exposure to violence has desensitized me. I dunno. I just laugh at any recent attempts I've seen in the horror genre.
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It's true though. I think he's already hired the same make-up guy who turned him into the video werewolf (which was pretty cool). I wonder if they even have a finished script. He's such an egomaniac, he can't see the folly in casting himself in the leading role. I smell a major flop. If he wants to create movies, fine..but he should stay behind the camera. Leave the acting to actors, not carnival sideshow freaks.
Cast Robin Williams in the role. God knows he's hairy enough.
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LanzaMarie (no login) 216.30.40.124
Re: Thriller?
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May 29 2002, 4:09 PM
Robin Williams could be a better werewolf, but you couldn't use LaToya as his stunt double.
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Oh yeah..thought of one. The Blair Witch Project was very creepy. The woods at night. Lost. Weird shit going on. One of your group goes missing. The only bad thing? The sequel it spawned.
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.36
Re:Thriller?
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May 30 2002, 9:36 PM
I vote for Robin Williams for the Werewolf.
but I am still wondering WHY we need yet another werewolf movie. Does all of CA feel a remendous need to transform into a werewolf? Very strange.
Hey...how about Betty White? Where could we place her in this movie??
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I agree. How can anything top Teen Wolf Too? I think in this new version a werewolf turns into Michael Jackson every time a full moon comes out, and he runs around town naked, grabbing his crotch, yelling, "Eeee! Eeee!", seeking out little boys to bugger. The townsfolk are relieved when he turns back into the werewolf. Maybe Betty White can play a nun who cusses out MJ.
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.78
Re: Thriller?
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June 2 2002, 9:58 PM
No, I can't see Betty White as a nun.
Maybe she pours water on the werewolf to make him turn into MJ....kinda like in the movie Gremlins.
She could cuss out all the people who are trying to shut her water off.
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Betty White pours holy water on a werewolf to turn it into Michael Jackson in the movie Gremlins? Really? I must have missed that scene. Do you have the director's cut version on DVD or something?
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.208
Re: Thriller?
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June 3 2002, 9:57 PM
No silly....this movie is yet to be released.
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You do realize that Papi will then demand a part? Maybe Bea could play King Kong and lug Papi up the Empire State building. I'm sure Papi will have no problem playing the damsel in distress. If Bea accidentally drops him, all the better!
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.175
Re: Thriller?
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June 12 2002, 10:08 PM
You know if you guys had kept this thread going longer, you would have made a much better movie than what is planned!
With Bea and Betty and Papi.....you've got my interest!
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LanzaMarie (no login) 216.30.40.124
Well....
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June 13 2002, 11:08 AM
If you insist.... I will keep going! (I don't need much encouragement LOL)
I think the male lead should be Lou Diamond Phillips. He's such a good actor and is sooo dreaaaaammy! LMAO
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I thought Bea was the male lead. But with Lou, we're talking star power! They cancelled Wolf Lake! Can you fathom that??? I mean..Lou Diamond Phillips. Prime time t.v. The FBI had to shut it down. Lou would become more powerful than George W. More powerful than Martha. More powerful than Oprah even!
So a movie with Bea, Michael, Lou, and Papi showing cleavage? Is the world ready?
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LanzaMarie (no login) 216.30.40.124
I'm thinking
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June 17 2002, 3:14 PM
That's a pretty good cast, but I think since Ozzy Osborne is enjoying renewed fame he'd round out the cast very nicely.
He's pretty scary and would be perfect for our horror film, but we'd have to find a dialogue coach for him.
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We might have to use subtitles. Alice Cooper can be Ozzie's sidekick. If he can persuade Ozzie to bite the head off of another bat, that would rock. Then maybe he can bite off Michael Jackson's head!
And if Papi is still holding out (I mean..his demand for weed in his trailer is excessive), Meatloaf can fill in for him. Did you see his man boobs in Fight Club?!
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LanzaMarie (no login) 216.30.40.124
Re: Thriller?
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June 18 2002, 4:41 PM
Ewwwww!! Man boobies!!
Well, if Papi refuses to be in our movie, I guess we can ask William Shatner to take his role. The two are practically interchangable.
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If man boobs are that scary, we can have a bunch of them attacking people. With Shatner on board, he can deal with them. They're kind of like tribbles from "The Trouble With Tribbles" Star Trek episode.
Or get Woody Allen! I'm reminded of the giant tit in "Everything You Wanted To Know Ahout Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)".
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LanzaMarie (no login) 216.30.40.124
Re: Thriller?
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June 19 2002, 4:04 PM
So you're saying, if we make this movie you're going to get a woody?
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Adding Monica Potter to the cast, and I'll guarantee it. heh.
Hmmm..call Woody Harrelson. I think he can help us stock Papi's trailer with weed. And Woody Allen is out. I don't want him around when we're filming the girls' slumber party scenes.
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.86
Re: Thriller?
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June 25 2002, 8:43 PM
See, I knew you guys could come up with a box office hit!!
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If Scooby Doo can pull in millions, why can't we? Judging by the commercials, Scooby has to be the worst computer generated character ever. Freddy Prinze, Jr. as Fred? You don't cast someone just because they're a big fan and lobby hard for the part, especially dopes that can't act. And I saw a clip where Daphne was using martial arts to kick someone's ass. One scene was cut where Daphne and Velma were getting it on. How appropriate-not only do they take liberties with the children's cartoon we grew up with, they almost get slapped with an R rating. I'll save my money and stay away from this one, thanks.
But yeah..any moron can make a movie. I guess Lanza can direct ours.
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