1) Make us laugh. Or die trying.
2) Don't be surprised if you find yourself verbally pistol-whipped. It's all in the spirit of fun.
3) We want a helicopter...because hostage takers always ask for one in the movies, right? We don't ride no stinkin' buses. If you don't have a helicopter, make rotor noises by thumping on your chest while you linger, at least.
4) Don't be surprised if a cheese monkey mistakes you for a mate while you make rotor noises. Feed the cheese monkey at your own peril.
5) We're out of cheese. Bring cheese.
6) Papi's rule: Refrain from using the word "pussy" during negotiations, or risk the wrath of a scrawny Texan.
7) Take the feuding and flaming elsewhere. We're kinder, gentler hostage takers.
8) We want lots of bubble wrap. Stand-offs can be a bitch.
9) Run your cat through the shredder before entering. There's nothing like the sound of a screeching cat to break the tension.
10) Tell the SWAT team to keep their distance. But you're welcome to join in if you're new here. Don't be shy!
(AP)
Multiplatinum singer Michael Jackson, already feuding with his record company, charged Saturday that the recording industry was a racist conspiracy that turns profits at the expense of performers - particularly minority artists. Jackson, 43, who began his recording career as a child, spoke at the Rev. Al Sharpton's National Action Network in Harlem. Sharpton and attorney Johnnie Cochran Jr. recently formed a coalition to investigate whether artists are being
financially exploited by record labels.
Jackson, who records for Sony Music, also singled out company chairman Tommy Mottola, saying he was "mean, he's a racist, and he's very, very, very devilish."
Jackson also accused Mottola of using "the n-word" when speaking about an unidentified black Sony artist.
Sony Music issued a statement calling Jackson's comments "ludicrous, spiteful and hurtful. It seems particularly bizarre that he has chosen to launch an
nwarranted and ugly attack on an executive who has championed his career ... for many, many years."
Jackson's last album, "Invincible," has had disappointing sales despite an estimated $25 million in
promotion. The singer's fans say Sony didn't do enough to launch the album. Others in the industry say sagging sales were indicative of Jackson's declining appeal.
Jackson mentioned several black artists as victims of the industry, including James Brown, Mariah Carey and Sammy Davis Jr. Jackson alleged that Davis died penniless, although Davis' attorney said in 1990 that the "Rat Pack" member left an estate worth more than $6 million when he died.
Jackson arrived at the Midtown building on a double-decker city tour bus that twice circled the block. He stood in the open top deck and, raising his fists, joined the crowd in chanting "Down with Tommy Mottola!"
Jackson held up a poster with three boxes marked "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" - with an image of himself in the "The Good" box and Mottola's face with devilish horns in "The Bad" box, while Mottola's real image adorned "The Ugly" box.
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Haha..you probably just think Johnny Depp is hot. Would Edward be so sweet if played by..say..Crispin Glover? I bet Edward Scissorhands has to be very careful when he masterbates.
I think Michael started off trying to look like Diana Ross. God knows what he did to turn white. Then he just kept fine tuning. He must be the most vain person ever-which is ironic, because he turned himself into a freak. And there was nothing wrong with his looks in the first place.
And yeah..I did know that. Guy Williams.
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(no login) 12.90.168.23
Michael's Looks
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July 28 2002, 11:39 AM
First, Johnny's pretty damn cute but an AWESOME ACTOR. Masturbation point: Who cares? That's a guy's thing to think about since you all are always worried about cumming.
Second, Michael's looks at first were wonderful. He was an adorable guy...then all hell broke loose. I have a theory. I believe that he just wanted a nose job at first. Then, he got burned in the pepsi commercial and had skin grafs to help....etc. I think that burn accident warped his mind and made him want to continue.
My question: WHAT DOCTOR would CONTINUE THIS knowing what's happening to his face???
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I've seen Johnny Depp in some god-awful movies lately. Sure he can act, but he should choose more roles in movies that will actually be seen. Screw the artistic integrity-the movies he thinks are important turn out to be crap.
"That's a guy's thing to think about since you all are always worried about cumming."
Guys worry about it? I hardly think worry is the right word. heh. And women masterbate far more than most will admit. Talking about masterbation and Michael Jackson in the same thread is just wrong though. Ick.
Wasn't it just his hair that was burnt during the Pepsi commercial? (and possibly his scalp) I don't think his face was harmed. If you go to enough doctors, you'll eventually find one willing to do your bidding..as long as you can pay the bills. But yeah..a true professional should say, "Whoa, dude, you're already enough of a freak." Well, maybe not those exact words. I bet if you hold a flame near his face it would start to melt.
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.224
Re: Thriller...w/ Johnnie Cochran Jr.
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July 31 2002, 11:55 AM
Not a Johnny Depp fan here.
GASP you mean that the sweet loving father on Lost in Space and Zorro are one in the same? Johnny Depp could never pull that off!
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