Rules of Negotiation and Our Demands:

1) Make us laugh. Or die trying.
2) Don't be surprised if you find yourself verbally pistol-whipped. It's all in the spirit of fun.
3) We want a helicopter...because hostage takers always ask for one in the movies, right? We don't ride no stinkin' buses. If you don't have a helicopter, make rotor noises by thumping on your chest while you linger, at least.
4) Don't be surprised if a cheese monkey mistakes you for a mate while you make rotor noises. Feed the cheese monkey at your own peril.
5) We're out of cheese. Bring cheese.
6) Papi's rule: Refrain from using the word "pussy" during negotiations, or risk the wrath of a scrawny Texan.
7) Take the feuding and flaming elsewhere. We're kinder, gentler hostage takers.
8) We want lots of bubble wrap. Stand-offs can be a bitch.
9) Run your cat through the shredder before entering. There's nothing like the sound of a screeching cat to break the tension.
10) Tell the SWAT team to keep their distance. But you're welcome to join in if you're new here. Don't be shy!

 

<< Previous Topic | Next Topic >> Return to Sanity Held Hostage   I was just thinking September 1 2002 at 9:09 AM No score for this post Shorti  (no login) from IP address 12.90.168.183   What if Charlton Heston came here for some reason and saw that heading "Charlton Heston's gonna die!" He'd be like, "Get your filthy paws off me you damn dirty ape." Or else he might say "It's a madhouse, a madhouse!" No, no, no....he'd say "You did it you bastards! Your blew her up! Damn you, damn you all to hell!!!!!"   Scoring disabled. You must be logged in to score posts. Respond to this message    Author Reply (Login bawdy) Forum Owner 67.68.212.46 Re: I was just thinking No score for this post September 1 2002, 3:01 PM  Haha! Then he'd go grab an assault rifle and start to track us down. No worries, halfway here, he'd forget what he was doing. heh (Normally illness jokes=not funny, but...)   Scoring disabled. You must be logged in to score posts. Shorti (no login) 12.90.168.194 Charlton No score for this post September 1 2002, 8:21 PM  Soylent green is PEOPLE! It's PEOPLE!   Scoring disabled. You must be logged in to score posts. (Login bawdy) Forum Owner 67.68.213.50 Re: I was just thinking No score for this post September 2 2002, 3:38 PM  "You can break a man's skull. You can arrest him. You can throw him in a dungeon. But how do you fight an idea?" -Ben Hur Easy, when it's one of Charlton's screwball ideas.   Scoring disabled. You must be logged in to score posts. Current Topic - I was just thinking   Respond to this message      << Previous Topic | Next Topic >> Return to Sanity Held Hostage