1) Make us laugh. Or die trying.
2) Don't be surprised if you find yourself verbally pistol-whipped. It's all in the spirit of fun.
3) We want a helicopter...because hostage takers always ask for one in the movies, right? We don't ride no stinkin' buses. If you don't have a helicopter, make rotor noises by thumping on your chest while you linger, at least.
4) Don't be surprised if a cheese monkey mistakes you for a mate while you make rotor noises. Feed the cheese monkey at your own peril.
5) We're out of cheese. Bring cheese.
6) Papi's rule: Refrain from using the word "pussy" during negotiations, or risk the wrath of a scrawny Texan.
7) Take the feuding and flaming elsewhere. We're kinder, gentler hostage takers.
8) We want lots of bubble wrap. Stand-offs can be a bitch.
9) Run your cat through the shredder before entering. There's nothing like the sound of a screeching cat to break the tension.
10) Tell the SWAT team to keep their distance. But you're welcome to join in if you're new here. Don't be shy!
That's almost un-American. What does he do to escape your nagging then?
Where does he drive you to drink? That's awfully considerate of him.
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.128
Re: Weekend plans
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September 20 2002, 10:35 PM
I swear the man is a commie!
I do not nag him...believe it or not. He nags me to death. Even my mother said to me "how can you stand him nagging at you like an old lady all the time?"
Where does he drive me? Right into my computer room with a Cd playing and the head phones on!!
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Shorti (no login) 12.90.171.3
What does he nag about?
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September 21 2002, 8:54 AM
This is kind of a switch....
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Start your sentence with a capital letter. Boy, that really gets on my nerves. And sit up straight!
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.251
Re: What does he nag about?
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September 21 2002, 10:15 PM
He nags about everything. Mostly wanting my paycheck every week. And that I have too much "stuff", which means books, that are all neatly lined up in my bookcases. I like to read.
His nagging accomplishes nothing, I have learned how to completely tune him out.
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Shorti (no login) 12.90.171.77
Rick
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September 21 2002, 11:41 PM
You're TOO GOOD at it.
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Try storing a few books in the fridge. See if he prefers that to the bookcases.
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Candy (no login) 209.153.172.109
Re: Weekend plans
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September 24 2002, 10:09 PM
Excellent idea!! I think I will put the few books he has in there. Although I do believe his penny pinching books belong in the trash instead of the fridge.
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SHorti (no login) 12.90.172.33
Nope wasn't me
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September 24 2002, 10:17 PM
I use the type that stands up and has an automatic cap.
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(no login) 67.68.218.136
Re: Weekend plans
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September 25 2002, 2:12 PM
He buys books on penny pinching? You'd think he would have taken them out of the library. I guess he's not learning much from them.
Automatic caps? How does that work? Never heard of 'em. Maybe you just took my cap off to annoy me. You're not getting off the hook that easy.
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Shorti (no login) 12.90.175.152
Re: Weekend plans
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September 25 2002, 8:31 PM
These are stand up mini bottles of toothpaste that have an attached cap.
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