A question to ask and a help of need....

Sorry if I pop out from nowhere but I REALLY need a help.

I need some C&C about this fic below^^;;; Don't worry, flame or no flame is welcome. I need them anyway, so please tell me what you think.

Because I Love You Too

Sob
Silences.
Sob
“Hey…”
Sob
“Don’t cry…”
“Go a-away…*sob* ”
“……”
“W…why sob ”
“??”
“Why you care? sob ”
“……”
“No one ever care about me… sob ”
“I do…”
“!!”
“……”
“Why?”
“Because…”
“Because?”
“……”
“……”
Silence.
“I don’t need your pity or anyone else”
“……”
“J-just go away and leave me alone”
“I-”
“Please leave sob ”
“ sigh ”
Silence.
“Why aren’t you leaving? I thought I called you to leave me alone sob ”
“I can’t”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to see you like that”
“Why? Why…why you care so much?”
“I-I dunno. It just-hurt to see you like that”
“I never had anyone care so much about me. Everyone just wish I were die. Why you? Why?”
“……”
“Is it because we’re best friends?”
“No…”
“Then?”
“Aren’t you going to tell me?”
“I can’t…”
“…Why?”
“Because I don’t know how to express this feelings inside me”
“……”
“Wanna hear a poem I just wrote? It will make you feel better”
Nodded.

I have a feeling, a feeling that nobody ever makes me felt before
They’re so different yet they are what I adore They’re warm so warm everytime I got near you
I never had this feeling towards a person before but you.
You, make me do the things I shouldn’t do
You, make me say the things I shouldn’t say
But there will be a day
Went I can open my door
To let you in
So we could spend the whole day.
Reject isn’t my way of day
Terror that you’ll walked away
But, baby that won’t be the way
Because I won’t let you go anyway.
I always saw those tears in your eyes
Which are sparkling like a dia(mond)
If I know who’s he
I’ll burn him to hell for what he did
Because he make my baby cry
But I’ll be there to dry your eyes.
So you don’t have to cry
Because a guy likes him deserve to die
I don’t like to see you suffer
Because it hurt me much deeper
To see you cry.

“You wrote this?”
“Yeah. Like it?”
Nodded.
“Who’s the person in that poem?”
“You guess?”
“Hmmm…I dunno”
“Give up so fast?”
“Aren’t you going to tell me?”
“You…”
“Me?!”
“Yeah, I like you since the first time we meet”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid you’re straight but then I saw him with you. When I noticed that you two are breaking up, I’ll like to kill him just now but you ran out so I rush towards you”
“All this years you love and you didn’t even tell me?!”
“Yeah, I hope I’m not too late, rite now”
“No”
“No?”
“You’re not too late”
“So you’ll give me a chance?”
Nodded.
“Really? But why?
“Because I love you too”

**OWARI**

So?? I need all the help I could get from you guys^^;;; Since everyone here will be honest with me.