Hey there ^___^ Okay...Let's start this...First of all, there were a few grammatical errors such as the second line should have been "Silence" not silences. But I won't go in depth about those so that I can give you a chance to look through the fic yourself and fix things up.
Errm...A couple of things...This may just me, but I favor fics that have more than just dialogue because then you can have more in-depth character development. You can't really get the feel of the atmosphere of the fic if it's just pure dialogue all the way throughout. Am I making sense? There are no descriptions about feeling, surrounding or such that would draw a reader into the story more.
Second, I would have liked it more if you had made it clear as to who those two characters interacting were. It could have been just about anyone in SD but I'm thinking...MitKo? That's the thing...I don't know and that way, I can't really relate to the fic. I don't know who the two characters are. There are no hints, no obvious traits within the fic that I can draw on to make an educated guess...
Umm...That's all that I can think of right now. Good luck with the fic ^_____^
Laree
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RuKo no Miko
Silver Ellie
Kouhai and Sempai
No RuHana, no MitKo. Only one hundred percent RuKo
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