[fic][yaoi][pure sap (G)] Reminiscence[prologue])(series)

TITLE: Reminiscence
AUTHOR: chibi angel
chibiwings@hotmail.com
PAIRING: RuHana. not there yet
STATUS: Prologue written. first chapter still in progress
RATING: G
WARNINGS: ...sappy. all my fics are. and...KIDDY LOVE. dun read if u get goosebumps...but actually, it's nothing muchh ^^;;;
Notes: ...this is the prologue. posted at sdbc already, but i plan on refining it before i decide whether i want to continue as a series. ...sounds stupid, but...I just don't feel good about the prologue. Tear it up all u want n i'll come back to piece it back like a jigsaw puzzle ^^;;; I hope I have listed everything needed....can be read by either yo-chan or yev...since it's not really a series yet.
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Reminiscence
" The worse way to miss a person is when the person is sitting beside you, and you know that he can't
forgive you..."

He had no idea why, but the vision kept coming back to him. The incident in the past that shattered one of his deepest friendship other than with Youhei and the Guntai. He sighed and flopped to his side again. It was the eve of a new school term. He would be going to his first year of school beginning from tomorrow. No big deal. So why the heck was he suffering from insomia now? After another few more flips, he shut his eyes tightly, and his mind drifted back to a past he wanted to forget.
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-FLASHBACK-

Shohoku Elementary School.

It was only two weeks before their last school term ended. They were going through the graduation ceremony on that day. All the little 12-year old kids were excited about receiving their graduation certificates and being old enough to move on to junior high school. Only one boy was sitting at his seat quietly, his mind spinning on how to reveal hsi most hidden secret to his best friend. He glanced nervously at the red-haired child, sitting and staring out of the window.
##################

The graduation ceremony went without a hitch. All the children were holding onto to their certificates, chattering among themselves excitedly. The little boy glanced at his friend again. 'This is my final chance to do this.' He knew that his redheaded friend had noone in elementary school except for Youhei-chan and himself. For all six years. If he told Hana-chan his feelings for him, the boy might shun him away forever and become the silent and shy boy he was four years ago. But...this was now or never. Hana-chan liked him, right? He gathered up whatever courage he had, and approached both of his best friends. The nervous look on his face already hinted to the shorter boy of the two that he needed to talk to the redhead alone. He noddes understandingly, and excused himself. The boy looked on gratefully. Youhei had always been the wisest of the trio, sensitive to others. He coughed a little, catching the redhead's attention.

"Hai? Kaede-chan?"

The boy fidgeted about nervously. His friend noticed this and thought that it was because there were many people in the classroom. Everyone was waiting eagerly for the bell to ring. Only twenty minutes to go. He dragged the pale jade-eyed boy out of the classroom, so that his friend would not have so much trouble saying what he wanted. 'Funny, he was always the talkative and brave one.'

They reached a quiet corner behind the classrooms. His friend stopped, and then turned to Kaede.

"Do you feel more comfortable talking here?" He smiled slightly at his friend, who was still in emotional turmoil. Kaede looked up, and blushed furiously, when he saw his friend's smile. A rare and true smile. He took a few deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. His friend was still staring at him curiously.

"Ha..Hana-chan....I err..um..I think..I love you. gulp I ...um..think I have a crush on...you." He let out a long breath, his heart still beating fast. After a long pause, he looked up at his friend's face. Hana-chan was blushing and staring at him blankly, and they stared at each other, not knowing what to do, until Hana-chan broke the silence.

"...I...Huh?" Hana-chan's face finally settled for a blank look. He had no idea what to do. His friend looked back at him, his expression was full of regret and pain. Hurt etched out in the child's sea-green eyes and before Hana-chan could do anything, the boy ran as fast as he could, too ashamed to face his friend again.
***********************************
"Kaede!"
Hanamichi woke up with a start. The memory had been haunting him for three years now. On the last week of school, Miyamoto Kaede, had tried to ignore him and avoid him. Even before the week ended, Kaede had left with his family for the United States. He decided it was his fault. He had hurt Kaede, and he wasn't even sure if he could accept Kaede in the first place. He COULD, because he liked Kaede alot, but as a 12 year old child, he did not know the meaning of love.

Because of this, Hanamichi tried to convince himself that whether he knew about love or not, the end result would still be the same. Once at his first year of Junior High, he made himself think that every girl that made his heart beat faster was someone he could love. But he faced rejections all the way. Meanwhile, he had made another 4 faithful friends in Junior High, by trying to change his shy and quiet character.

'Mixing around would surely do you good,' he reasoned with himself. One lesson about solitude and friendship was enough. Now, he not only had Youhei, he had his own gang too. Anything would do. As long as it made him feel safe, feel that he was not guilty of chasing Kaede away. But he was wrong. The guilt and self-blame did not leave him at all.

He sighed and flipped onto his back. Staring at the ceiling, he tried to go back to sleep. He shut his eyes and tried to avoid thinking about that incident. After all, it was the first day of high school tommorow. Facing a black vacuum when he closed his eyes, he murmured to himself.

"One sheep...two sheep...three sheep....four sheep..."

~tbc~