Uh, I haven't finished reading the whole thing yet. Shame on me considering that the thing's already short, but I'm using one of the school computers and I can't linger. ^^;;;
Anyway, the first part was a bit cryptic. Nothing wrong there as long as there's promise of some bit of enlightenment later. A note though. This line caught my attention: "Grass was crackling under footsteps." Grass doesn't "crackle". Leaves do--dry leaves. Grass COULD crackle if it it was dry too, but I didn't think that was what you intended. Just thought I'd point it out. ^^
I'll finish reading the rest later after school. Ja. ^^