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Is Farting in a church of Christ building wrong?

December 11 2012 at 5:51 PM
Anonymous 
from IP address 70.196.3.131

Would it be considered instrumental music since it sounds like a horn?

Would it be considered incense or a sweet smelling aroma?

Because there is no approved example, direct command, or necessary inference that Paul ever farted in an assembly, would that make it wrong?

I believe that the Bible authorizes farting.

Ken...what is your feelings on this topic?

 
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Ken Sublett

70.193.15.123

Re: Is Farting in a church of Christ building wrong?

December 13 2012, 1:15 PM 

If you follow the ATCHLEY etal patternism of using the Israelites and eat the sacrifices made to Baal-Peor (dung smeared on his face) then I would say that you are probably commanded to have a Bean Eating Minister spend the week making certain that everyone has been filled and rehearsed: at 82 I would want to use a plug. As a matter of fact, it would sound better to me than to have to watch and listen to limpy praise singers and women wafting menstrual odors in the holy places--and maybe magic juice in your communion based on the old Agape Women.

However, if you are a Christian (a Christian is a disciple [only] of Christ [only]) you MUST remember a few things.

Around the Agora where Jesus consigned the pipers, singers and instrument players, the same official who regulated prices of the Flute-Players (always the way to find the prostitutes) also regulated the DUNG HEAP.

Christ in Isaiah said that God would wash the dung out of Jerusalem which was the SAME PLACE where the Jacob-cursed and God abandoned Levites made SOOTHSAYING noise.

When the flute players (always women claiming power against dead spirits) wanted to ASSIST Jesus with the dead girl, he CAST THEM OUT using a word meaning "more or less violently" or as one "EJECTS DUNG." My studied expert opinion is that Jesus would not want you to organize a Fluting-Farting-Foolish-Fella worship team when He comes to give us REST (from) and be our ONLY Teacher when the elders as the pastor teachers stand up to PREACH the Word by READING the Word.

You might want to take a break (like when the Catholic organist played) to go outside during an intermission. I doubt that you could make that work unless ACU sets up a Doctorate in Exuding Laughing gas.

I hope that helps: if not, there are others of the ALLEXPERT group which might give you more information.

 
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...........................THE BOOK

What Happened At the Madison Church of Christ?


There are thousands of churches being taken over across America.

This book is only about one of those churches. It's about the Madison Church Of Christ. By studying the methods used here along with the resource references you might be able to inoculate your church. At the very least you will recognize the signs early on.

Many of the current members of the Madison Church of Christ still don't know what happened.
Some never will know! This book is for them as well.

Madison Church of Christ was a 60 year old church. At one time it was one of the largest churches in the US, and the largest Church of Christ.

It thrived for many years on the vision of it's elders and those of it's ministers. Those visions undoubtably came from the the inspired word of Jesus Christ.

At sometime in the last 10 years there was a deliberate plan by a majority of the elders to take the Madison Church of Christ into a more worldly realm.

They used secrecy, covert planning, and outside sources to scheme and to change the format and direction of the Madison Church of Christ.

The Elders knew that the membership would never approve such a plan. Using the tools of the "Community Church Movement"(consultants, books, seminars, meetings,planters,seeders) they slowly started initiating change so it was never noticed by the members until it was too late.....

At the heart of the plan was the fact that old members were going to be driven off so new techniques could be used to go out and reach the unchurched through new "Contemporary Holy Entertainment" methods developed by the "Community Church Movement"

Old members had to be kept on board long enough to get their plans ready, or the funds would not be there to pay for the new building. So by the plans very nature, it had to be secret.

The church had no plan in effect to renew or approve elders. There was never any need. The elders had always been "as approved by God". 10 of the last 15 elders would begin to shed some doubt on that.

The Elders did not even need a majority at first, because some of the elders went along unwittingly.

This edition starts shortly after some of the members begin to smell something strange in January 2001. Later editions may go back and fill in some of the timeline.

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Here is the list of players;

5 Godly Elders
10 Not so Godly Elders
120 "Deacons" (allegiance unknown)
2,800 - 4,000 church "members"
2 "teners" (people who have publicly confessed to have broken all ten commandments)
Unknown number of "sinners" (This is what the 10 elders call us.)
Unknown number of "demons" (Flying everywhere, to many to count)
 

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