My oldest fiend on earth went through the same thing I am, and tried everything to make it work. She finally gave up and got the divorce, and she is telling me that even still today, her kids are fucked up from the divorce. They have absolutely no relationship with their father (his choice) and they went through a terrible time with drugs in high school. I don't want that to happen to my kids. It's not like we are yelling at each other all the time, it's more like we don't exist to each other. He's an avoider, so he won't talk about it. I am a confr4onter, which makes him run away. I am seeing a therapist, he won't go. It's a clusterfuck. He doesn't even remember telling me that he wants a divorce. That fucked up.