So there's a huge spider that built a big beautiful web on my porch and I think it's pregnant. The body is fat and sort of white and the legs are stripey brown. It also looks like it has a "T" on its back. I really (x20) don't like spiders and I think it knows it because it gave me the stink eye so imma do it like we do in tha hood and kill that MF for giving me a dirty look. I keep it real!
I told the spider it has 12 hours to live but now I'm feeling kind of bad because it's unaware of its demise, so I need someone to talk me into keeping my plans for premeditated murder. I know spiders have a purpose but I'm afraid of them and I don't need it or it's babies biting my own babies.
Here's a vid of the unwelcome guest.