So I was drawn into reading the site lizz posted on todd's game thread... and laughed at this one


Friends Dont Let Friends Drive Sunny Side Up
CAR WASH | EAST WINDSOR, NJ, USA
(A woman returns to our car wash with a scowl on her face, 15 minutes after leaving. Note that she drives a black Beetle and its been 80 degrees with sunny skies for the past week.)

Me: Hi, welcome back!

Customer: Yeah, Id like to speak with your owner please.

Me: Hes having a conference call right now. Is there something I can help you with?

Customer: Yeah, my car is still dirty.

Me: Oh, did the mud not wash off the back?

Customer: There was no mud. The egg didnt wash off the roof of my car.

Me: Um, someone egged you car? How long has the egg been there?

Customer: A week or so, but thats not the point. It didnt wash off!

Me: Maam, the egg is baked into your paint. Its never going to wash off.

Customer: What?! Its just a f***ing egg! My car is not a g**d*** frying pan! It was some friends playing a joke just wash it off!

Me: Maam, the egg is baked on. You have to get it repainted. Whoever egged your car is no friend of yours.

(The customer suddenly gets very quiet and glares at me.)

Customer: whispers Who have you been talking to?

(The customer points her finger at my face and begins to slowly back out the door. She then slowly sits in her car and drives off without breaking her stare.)

http://notalwaysright.com/

ha ha ha, this one makes me happy

Fattening Fallacies
Coffee Shop | Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada
Me: Welcome to ****, what can I get for you?

Customer: Could I get that donut right there? points

Me: Sure thing.

(I put it on a plate and hand it to him.)

Customer: Can you heat it up for me, please?

Me: No problem, Ill just be a minute.

Customer: Put it in for exactly 7 seconds. If you microwave food for 7 seconds, it becomes negative calories. Did you know that?

Me: UmI dont think thats how food works.

Customer: Well, how would you know, youre just a part-time employee at a coffee shop.

Me: I work part-time to pay for Universitywhere I study health and nutrition

Customer: What are they teaching kids these days?! walks away angrily without the donut

Me: Have a nice day?

I missed my chance to share this little gem -- has had me cracking up for the past couple days. You have to read the comments on them, they're great, too.

http://psychoticlettersfrommen.blogspot.com/

I'm pretty sure at least one of the regular anons here could be a featured guest on that site.

bwahahahaha!

Pepperoni Pizza With A Side Of Pointless Paranoia
911 Call Center | Montreal, QC, Canada
Me: 9-1-1, police, fire, or ambulance?

Caller: Help, please God, help!

Me: Sir, whats the emergency?

Caller: Someones trying to break into my house! Please, send the cops!

Me: Calm down the police are well on the way as we are talking.

Caller: I dont want to die! Oh my God, why me?

Me: Sir, take a deep breath. Do you know this person?

Caller: Yeah, I ordered some pizza, I paid, and he gave it to me. I can see through the window its him hes pounding on my door trying to get in! Where are the cops?!

Me: Sir, Ill stay on the phone with you if it makes you feel safer. Can you yell what he wants?

Caller: Okay yells toward the door What do you want, man?!

Pizza guy: *faintly, behind the door* You forgot your change!

Liz, I cannot get off this site. It is awesome!