OK, a synopsis of the last several months. I had a wonderful few months off from working after we moved out to Idaho in November. Christmas with my new family was great, but I was pretty homesick, I have to admit. It was my first Christmas not being in Maine. Several of my family members got webcams, and I got one too. So I got to see Mum's face and talk with people, even tho the words were out of sync with the video. So we all turned into bad Japanese movie actors, but it was fun. Mum had a fall and hurt her hip and ended up doing physical therapy and staying with my sister Becky. Before that she was having home dialysis but now had to have it at a clinic.
After the New Year I figured I better get a job. Even with my retirement, we need the extra money to pay for the wedding and trip to Maine, etc. I quickly realized that finding a good job in an office was going to take more than a little time. Someone suggested I just pick up a quick retail job, and I applied at (gulp) Wal-mart. They hired me to work in the Wal-mart deli. So that's where I am. It's hard physical work!!! I do not do hard physical work! I sit at a desk and help people start businesses! I play on the internet! I have long lunches with my friends! LOL. As Inspector Clouseau once said in reply to "That's a priceless Steinway!"...."not anymore." Well, you're on your feet running all day. Cooking in a fryolator, rotissering chickens, dishing food out of a hot case to hungry shoppers, giving countless children something called "popcorn chicken", which I had never heard of until I moved out here. Slicing meats and cheeses. All these things are very dangerous to a person like me, and I have the burns all over my forearms to prove it! It's just a matter of time until I lose a finger. But I got used to it, and my arms and legs toughened up, and it's helping me lose weight.
In March we found out Mum's hip had been broken in that fall, and all the x-rays missed it. All that physical therapy was the last thing she had needed. So now she had to have surgery to see what they could repair. They got in there and found out that her artificial hip needed to be replaced. After that surgery I got a call from my sister Becky. She said Mum had developed an infection and I better come home. I took the red-eye to Maine. I was there about a week. My sister Deb came up from Florida. We all had to wear gowns every time we went in the room. Mum was very interested in my wedding plans and had fun helping me figure things out. She got better, and I flew back to Idaho and back to work. Less than 2 weeks later I got a call from Becky. She was crying and saying Mum had gotten a worse infection and was facing a dangerous operation. Even if she came through it she would face months of pain and have to be in a nursing home and she probably would only go downhill. Mum had elected not to have the surgery and to come home to die. I flew home again. The whole family came. Even my brother Mike flew up from Florida. He has not flown in 25 years. Mum held court in a bed in the living room and for over a week she was healthy enough to enjoy our company. Having all seven of her very loud kids plus her grandkids around was a blessing that she fully appreciated. My two sisters and I cared for her and I slept on the couch beside her every night. Because she had elected not to be taken every other day to have dialysis, it was only a matter of time before she weakened and died. The last week I was there we had homecare and us three sisters to make sure she was comfortable and in no pain. The last night, I sensed she would not make it, and I sat beside her in the early hours of the morning, holding her poor swollen hand until she died. It was the worst thing I ever had to do, and the best thing I was ever blessed with. She had a strong faith, and she knew she was going to be with Jesus, and I can only hope she's right.
So after the funeral I came back to Idaho, and miraculously I still had a job! And they even agreed to let me have my three weeks this summer to get married. I have a hard time facing the reality that Mum won't be there in person.
So now I'm working and saving and making long-distance wedding plans, and my female family members are busily working in Maine and Florida to make sure I don't screw it up and just get married by the roadside wearing my kitty pajamas. My sister Deb in particular is a lot like Appy and straightens me out about "woman things" as much as she can.
Now you're up to date. I'm leaving for Maine on June 26, getting married July 11, and honeymooning in Florida at my brother Mike's time-share on Cape Canaveral. Oh yeah, Mike won't fly again. Only for Mum! He and his wife want to share the condo with us that week, and it's his wedding present to us. So he's not coming to the wedding. He's coming to my honeymoon! But the place has two suites on either end, and we get the deluxe suite with the fireplace and jacuzzi, and it's on a beach, and Mike promises he and his wife will give us plenty of alone time, and it's free! I really don't mind having another couple there. I think it will be fun. And as Mike says, "After all, you're not kids anymore!!!"
So sorry to hear about your mom. I hate to say positive things about Wal-Mart, but it's wonderful that they let you have the time you needed to be with your mom and still let you have 3 weeks for your wedding/honeymoon. They must really value you.
Thanks for the update Tam! Congrats on the wedding and all the happy news.
My condolences on your Mom. I'm really glad she had the chance to be with all her family right before the end. That makes all the difference I think in how you move onward from it. My stepfather had the same good fortune. He died on the couch with my sisters there, and I got to really thank him for making me the man I am and making my childhood so easy, great, and full of love. He said to me, "I'm not afraid to die, I'm just going to miss you all so much!" We miss him too, but I'm glad he's not in pain, and I'm glad your mom's not in pain any more either.
Your Wal-Mart story makes me believe that the new "Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes" should read,
"In the future, everyone will work at a big-box retailer for at least 30 minutes."
So sad to hear about your mom, but how great that you were all there at the end to help her. Congratulations on the job, the wedding, the beautiful dress. You sound so happy!
Holy smokes you have been living a lifetime on your board hiatus. Your story about being there with your Mom at the end made me tear up a bit, I'm sorry for your loss but I know that it meant a lot to all of your family to be there with her and let her go the way she wanted to.
I laughed out loud about your brother being there for your honeymoon! It does sound like a good deal tho and a really nice place!
Good luck with the upcoming nuptials and if you are sparse around here for the next few months, we'll know why. Have a fabulous time lady (:
I'm copying the sentiment. What a wonderful and sad experience with your mother. Amazing that you got to spend time together for that last week and yet so hard to do.
yay, tam. congrats on your wedding excitement!! i was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were doing, if you were still in idaho.... you know, the old "whatever happened to tam!" good to know you're well overall.
i'm so sorry to hear about your mom, but how great that you guys were able to be there with her in the end. that's so special for all of you.
i haven't been around lately either, but i'm trying to make the effort.
it's good to see you on here- don't be a stranger!
