So we have, occasionally, Kanuckians call my place of work. And when I mistakenly or voluntarily pick up the phone I absolutely harass them, as soon as I discover that they are from that place up north.
What I love is that as soon as the Kanuckians realizes that I am friendly teasing them they are the best conversation around. I start out by accusing them of being Kanuckian and then I ask them a confirmation question, usually related to their location. Like, have you been on that big slide? (if you are from Alberta) Are you wearing a toque hat? because I can hear you wearing it? Do you love the Trailer Park Boys?
Maybe the Kanuckians are just being their polite but I think they know that I am engaging them in casual hijinx. And I think they know that because they keep calling us back.
Does that make me an asshole? Because I have fun. Flirting with you Kanuckians.
Ok - picture it. This place, come to life as a summer camp. All sorts of fun and activities and goings on. Cut to me, in cot, sans PJs. Cue Squid crawling in, asking me if I'm nakey. Except, there's my dad sitting on the cot across from us so I'm like, cut!! No! Then, dad's not there anymore but Squid is. There. Oh, god. Insert your filthy imagination here. And, scene.
Here was my horoscope for today. I don't really follow them, I just sometimes read them for the chuckles or whatever. I don't really have a temper I don't think. I have been told that I can be intense and I certainly can be a brooder. Anyway,
Your horoscope for January 17, 2012
You have made a lot of progress these past few weeks, especially where your temper is concerned. Good for you, Bider. It has taken some effort on your part, but it really seems that you have overcome your habit of speaking before thinking. Take care not to lose the hard-won ground you've gained. There is one particular person in your life, whose mission seems to be to make you explode! Don't let this person rankle you. Take a deep breath and rise above it.
I'm like ho hum. It'll be another shit day like every one else.
BUT THEN! BAM BAM AND BAM! One EFFIN EFF EFF right after the other. Why do you bother to hire AND THEN PAY me if you aren't going to listen to ONE EFFIN WORD that I tell you. I've been doing this 5 days a week for over 10 years and even more focused ON YOU for the last 4. I THINK I KNOW WHAT I'M talking about you EFFIN EFF EFF.
So I'm so frustrated. I don't know if I should fight to convince the fffer to do what's right or not.
1. I will "be arguing" and "not willing to cooperate" even though I can prove statistically that what I'm saying is the truth and the right course of action.
2. When the (wrong) effort fails it will because I did something wrong and will be blamed for not doing it right (how I suggested in the first place.)
I feel like I'm about to have an aneurysm. I wish I could work remotely for someone because there are no (real) jobs for my abilities and knowledge here and I can't move yet because I am financially committed for a couple more years.
I'm so pissed my palms are sweating. I'm going to physically walk away from this for a few minutes. Maybe I do have a temper. But EFFIN EFF EFFER's EFFIN Piss me off!
I'm just glad it wasn't a dream where you got to prove me unequivocably wrong 10,000 times in one argument, and then disembowell me in an old bomb shelter after shooting me up with Windex or something.