I have three dogs and one cat, and I don't have any intentions of getting any more pets.
But God help me if I am not thinking of taking in another child. Remember the kid I told you about last year? He was a good friend of my boys, and his father was tragically killed in an accident last summer. His parents were divorced -- his mom came out as a lesbian and took off, giving full custody to the dad. Dad remarried to a woman with previous kid(s). When Dad died, step-mom didn't want to take the kids (boy, older brother and older sister), and bio-mom didn't want them. They got placed with Grandpa (divorced from Grandma).
Okay, so basically, there are all kinds of screwed up in this family (daughter is bi, and I suspect older son is gay, NTTAWWT) but NO ONE WANTS THEM!! How sad is that??
There was social services involvement, and he ended up with Grandpa.
He is a good kid. He is adventurous and tests his boundaries, but frankly, he is better behaved and more helpful than my kids! I just... I don't know. I am in no position to be taking on MORE dependents! But it kills me to see him in this environment. Oh, there is a LOT going on I haven't talked about -- like his brother's friend t-bagging him!!!!
I don't know how old Grandpa is, I assume he is in his mid seventies, like my dad. I don't want another kid, but I don't want him to have the life he has. He's a good kid -- I wouldn't mind if he were mine. He seems to be an inconvenience to the rest of his family. His own BIO mom didn't even take him in when his dad died!!! WTF??
I understand your intentions but I'm no sure it works like that. My understanding is that child services would have to be called and then he would likely be placed with a foster family. I'm not sure it would be as simple as you putting up your hand and saying you want him but I don't know. Unless you applied to be a foster parent yourself and then he might get placed with you.
If you can get grandpa to agree to give him up without taking offense that you seem to think he's unfit AND if you can last as his guardian until his crazy mom decides to come back to get him...I'm sorry. I don't appear to be in a very hopeful mood this evening.
What is it with people marrying and squirting out children, but not taking any responsibility? The bio mom and step mom (but particularly the bio mom) sound like real pieces of work. What does changing changing teams have to do with taking care of the kids who slid down your snooch?
Maybe the stepmother is ill-equipped, perhaps financially, to handle her dead husband's children. If the environment is less than suitable for the child Liz is considering taking in, (the T-bagging incident comes to mind) maybe the stepmother doesn't want these kids around HER biological children.
Liz, if you are full-on committed to this idea, and it sounds like you are, then I might have a talk with the grandfather, but BEFORE you talk with the boy, in case the grandfather says no. I imagine the boy might collect SS benefits from his father, and that might be motivating his grandfather to keep them. That is a big assumption for me to make but not impossible.
It is hard to figure out how to go about this without necessarily going into all the legalities of it. His grandfather would still be his legal guardian? Who would make decisions about his healthcare? His education? Who would school call if there were any issues? That is enough to give you a headache, huh? You deserve lots of hugs for even considering taking this on!
Do you know for sure that the stepmother doesn't want him? Stepparents don't get custody of minor stepchildren after the death of the parent. They don't even get visitation unless the other biological parent allows it. The child should receive survivors benefits, paid to his parent, guardian, whatever until the child is 16, then directly to the child until 18.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I am a hero. - Hep C
I could certainly understand not wanting to raise some other dude's kids. But isn't that kinda part of the package when you marry someone who has kids from a previous marriage? Especially when the remaining bio is a deadbeat?
My little bro's father just took off for Mexico, when the kid was 6 years old. How can an adult do that to a child? I wouldn't do that to a dog, much less a child. I don't get it?