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50 Shades of Grey

May 15 2012 at 10:41 PM

Arwen  (Login jeannien)
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Please tell me the book isn't as sappy as all these quotes and that they really did pick the worst ones. Ugh.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/the-15-bestworst-lines-from-erotic-bestseller-fif

LOL @ one of the comments "Sounds like she has diarrhea in a few of those."

 
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(Login Hepatitis_C)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 15 2012, 11:53 PM 

The series started out as Twilight fan fiction.

That is really all that needs to be said.

.


    
This message has been edited by Hepatitis_C on May 15, 2012 11:56 PM


 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 16 2012, 12:22 AM 

Save yourself a lot of eye rolling and just read this instead.

http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/

And theres Leilawith a gun, potentially, somewhereand her crap taste in music still on his iPod. But even worse, Mrs. Paedo Robinson, I cannot wrap my head around her, and I dont want to.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 90.

ok there are two glaring problems with the above passage:

1. anastasia feels that mrs. robinson, the old bitch christian used to bone, is a bigger threat than leila, his ex-sub, WHO HAS A GUN.

2. anastasia throws out that leila has crap taste in music after she mentions leila HAS A GUN. the sentence should have been : And theres leila- with her crap taste in music on his ipod- WHO HAS A FUCKING GUN AND WANTS TO KILL ME. AHHH! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE! I BETTER TAKE THESE BUTT PLUGS OUT! The End.



    
This message has been edited by Ginnyesq on May 16, 2012 12:25 AM


 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 16 2012, 1:02 AM 

I gasp and I want to shout, Ive missed youall of younot just your mouth!

Fifty Shades Darker, p.11.

your penis. shes talking about your penis.

Torturous memories flash through my mindthe gliding, holding hands, kissing, the bathtub, his gentleness, his humor, and his dark, brooding, sexy stare.

Fifty Shades Darker, p.4.

him pulling out my tampon.

I clutch my forehead. Why hasnt Josť phoned? Come to think of it why hasnt anyone phoned?

Fifty Shades Darker, p.4.

because youre the worst and no one likes you and you have no friends.

And so a pattern develops: wake, work, cry, sleepI have spoken to no one, not even my mother or Ray.

Fifty Shades Darker, p.3.

friends really help you deal with break ups. too bad you dont have any.

E L James is a TV executive, wife, and mother of two, based in West London. Since early childhood, she dreamt of writing stories that readers would fall in love with,

About The Author, Fifty Shades Darker.

since childhood shed dreamt of writing assplay?

ps: your kids are proud of you. they are not at all embarrassed.

http://www.hulu.com/embed/pnYIhkel1GFOTV2DzkWKlA"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true">http://www.hulu.com/embed/pnYIhkel1GFOTV2DzkWKlA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"† width="512" height="288" allowFullScreen="true">


 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 16 2012, 1:47 AM 

I'm sorry, but these are cracking me up and I can't sleep.

I still want more, I whisper.
I know, he says. Ill try.
I blink up at him, and he relinquishes my hand and pulls at my chin, releasing my trapped lip.
For you, Anastasia, I will try. Hes radiating sincerity.

Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 259.

jesus bitch, you met him a week ago and you just met his parents AND he bought you a car. ease up.

I shall go meet his parents sans culottes. Anastasia Steele! My subconscious chides me, but I dont want to listen to her I almost hug myself with glee because I know this will drive him crazy.

Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 242.

you need to get a fucking hobby.

Kate returns about twenty minutes later with pizza, and we sit, surrounded by crates, in our new open space, eating straight from the box.

Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 223.

you fucking pigs.

Is swallowing semen acceptable to the Submissive?

Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 128.

does a bear shit in the woods?


 
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Kathleen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 16 2012, 6:11 AM 

There's a web site listing the top 14 "erotic" passages in the book and I wasn't impressed. happy.gif And now I can't find the link.

Here's Ellen reading some of it. Sort of.


http://www.toofab.com/2012/04/27/ellen-degeneres-reads-fifty-shades-of-grey/



 
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Cate
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 16 2012, 7:27 AM 

So - people were giving this to their mothers for Mothers Day? That's..wow.

A 60 year old work friend was just telling me how much she was LOVING this book and that I just have to read it. I'm feeling retroactively awkward.


 
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(Login Victoriabitter)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 16 2012, 9:28 AM 

I am ashamed to say I read this. Absolutely AWFUL - definitely NOT my taste in terms of writing. Sappy and ridiculous.

 
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A Citizen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 16 2012, 9:34 AM 

I had a flight attendant and the woman next to me reading this- I was like, what is the deal?

The flight attendant was like, "Yeah, this book makes me blush a little" and then recommended I read the Hunger Games...

Like THAT's EVER GOING TO HAPPEN!

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 16 2012, 12:28 PM 

I don't think I'll be reading it

 
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FG
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

May 17 2012, 10:07 AM 

OMG I picked up one of the books at the store, randomly opened it and started laughing my ass off! Really?
He shoved that plug so deep inside your soul felt it? Or some shit like that.

Some women at work are reading it and you can tell when they get to a certain part because they turn beet red. My one friend dies everytime I tell her "You enjoying that ho'? Huh dirty girl?". So much fun just from that aspect of it. Of course if it is sparking their sex lives more power to ya.

 
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(Login Lizzlee)
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Gilbert Gottfried Reads 50 Shades of Grey

May 18 2012, 6:09 PM 


 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 11:49 AM 

~bump~

What do you ladies think?

http://www.uclan.ac.uk/news/face_of_christian_grey_revealed.php

ETA pic

ChristianGrey.JPG



    
This message has been edited by jeannien on Jul 11, 2012 11:55 AM


 
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Lisa
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 11:56 AM 

He looks like the middle kid from that "Home Improvement" show. Can't think of his name, but he did the voice of Simba in The Lion King.
I haven't read any of the books btw. I don't think I'd want to be caught dead reading them.

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 11:59 AM 

This guy?

[linked image]

 
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AnonoPajama
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:04 PM 

Seriously. He has to look 12? Great. He really looks like Guy Pearce. Priscilla Queen of the Desert, LA Confidential. Australian dude that never ages.

 
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(Login SquiddyBoy)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:04 PM 

I am ashamed that the name "Jonathan Taylor Thomas" immediately jumped into my head there from Lisa's description.

 
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(Login AnnyBoo)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:20 PM 

I knew it too, Squid.







 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:20 PM 

Me too happy.gif

 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:27 PM 

He grosses me out.

I was thinking about this book last night, and thinking about why it bothered me that a lot of women seem to like it so much.† I mean, besides the fact that it is so poorly written and if you read it without laughing out loud or getting seriously exasteraped you might be really dumb.† I think the thing that bugs me is that it is based on twilight - And while I liked Twilight, I think the women who are die-hard twilight fans (the ones who don't read books otherwise, and declare it the best thing ever written types) tend to have the mentality of 12 year old girls. So basically this is erotica based on the tastes of women with the mentality of 12 year old girls.

And I'm not saying you are wrong if you enjoyed it, but I'm getting pretty sick hearing on facebook that it is SO GOOD, and I KNOW it is not.



Emokid is throwing slomo dove at my face, I guess that means he flipped me the bird

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:30 PM 

I was prepared to hate it and I was pretty vocal about it. I didn't make it thru even the first Twilight book, but I found it actually kept my attention. I'm on the second book now. Who knew?

 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:32 PM 

Maybe it would be easier to read if you didn't read Twilight and saw how all the charachters were based on Twilight charachters.† I think that the "Holy Hell"s and "My inner goddess is doing the samba" over and over would have been enough to annoy me, even if I hadn't read them.

 
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(Login AnnyBoo)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:33 PM 

I would not read this book even under the threat of water boarding.





 
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'neady
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:36 PM 

I agree, Ginny. Now if these ladies were to say "It's so bad it's good..." I might judge them a little less but they act like it's effing Shakespeare.

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:34 PM 

I had no idea who they were based on. Who is Grey? I was gonna write Jacob or...and I can't remember the other sparkly vampire's name LOL

Yeah I just skip over those part to get the gist of what they are up to, there are also a lot of "I just need time alone to think"s and I skip over those too.

 
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Louise
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:37 PM 

I think also the fact that it is (poorly) written from the point of view of someone who is just imagining what a D/s relationship might be like, obviously with no research or idea into what a healthy one actually is, irritates a lot of people. And the fact that this Grey fella seems like a creepy stalker.

[linked image]

[linked image]


 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:41 PM 

My take is that people are taking fluff WAY too seriously. Someone linked an article called "Why Fifty Shades of Grey is giving bondage a bad name" or something like that. I'm not so sure it had such a good name to begin with.

 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:45 PM 

Christian grey is Edward Cullen, the sparkly vampire.† Her little mexican friend who she makes talk like speedy gonzalez is Jacob (I think his name was Jose?). The sister is Alice, the parents are exactly the same as Edwards parents, the brother is the same big burly brother.† I mean, pretty much down to the physical characteristics they are the exact same characters.† She was writing it as fan fiction so I can't really complain about that, but it is very much a recycled book.

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 12:47 PM 

Wow. Never caught on to that at all but then I'm not a big fan of the movies either. I only watched the first one which I managed to watch all the way thru but was unimpressed with the whole thing.

ETA
I'l have to tell my two friends, who hate vampire books, what they are actually reading LOL


    
This message has been edited by jeannien on Jul 11, 2012 12:48 PM


 
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jo
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 2:53 PM 

the books were loaned to me by a friend who 'loved them'

ugh

Typos in the books. Srsly how does this happen with spellcheck and editors and publishers??!! The words were 'longue' as in chaise lounge and the other was 'sandles' as in sandals. (???)

Got sick of the lines 'Holy crap!' 'his mouth formed a thin line' and the term 'stills' really quckly.

I honestly thought these books would be serious SM stuff. Hardly

It's like reading a 15 year old's diary.

The only redeeming quality for me was that the books do keep your attention like Arwen mentioned. Guns, high speed chases, kidnappings.....make you stick around.

I got so tired of the drawn out, dragged out sex scenes, I would skip them. Serious snore. If these scenes were what the average female reader needed so badly and are making some 'blush' they sorely need some excitement in their lives


 
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(Login DJ.)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 2:57 PM 

I had no interest in this book as soon as I heard what it was about. Knowing it's related to Twlight my lack of interest is now a vow to never pick up that pile of shite.

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 3:10 PM 

LOL jo!!

My friend and I were talking about the spelling mistakes. We thought it was because the eVersions we have weren't exactly purchased. So there are spelling mistakes in the hardcovers too? Crazy!

 
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Lisa
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 3:14 PM 

Wait a minute, if the books are based on the Twilight books, isn't that plagiarism? How can the author get away with that?

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 3:21 PM 

I think they characters are based on Twilight characters. From what I understand the plot points are different.

 
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(Login jeez_louise)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 3:13 PM 

Jo, it is "chaise longue" - means "long chair".
Unless you were saying that "chaise lounge" is what was written in the book. In which case, carry on! Either way, spelling/grammar/typos in books? Ridiculous.

(also "chaise lounge" is no longer considered incorrect in the States so uh... I don't know whatever).


 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 5:05 PM 

She also did a lot of stuff like name drop expensive designers and spell the name wrong. "Oh my, I must wear my loubooteens!"† Lame.

 
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jo
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 6:29 PM 

my sincere thoughts Louise are that the writer was not trying to use correct French in her term. The book is just so badly written, I am guessing it's wrong and lounge was what she was striving for.

20 million copies sold and sex toys are flying off the shelves.

The hype and theme are what sold them because content, character development and literary finesse are sorely lacking.

ETA it'll be comical to view the demographic of the movie goers who line up to see this on film. Sexually repressed female baby boomers who never read a Penthouse Forum ever. RUN AWAY RUN AWAY


    
This message has been edited by Cuppajo on Jul 11, 2012 6:33 PM


 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 6:45 PM 

They're never show half the stuff in the book, the rating will be too strict to make any money.

 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 11 2012, 6:47 PM 

Speaking of movie adaptations. Warner Bros. bought the rights to my beloved Discovery of Witches. I hope they do it proud.


 
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Arwen's Anon
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 12:59 PM 

They'll adapt these novels. It's called porn.

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 1:03 PM 

No doubt with some creative titles happy.gif

Speaking of which, my friend JUST sent me her version of Mr Grey. Seriously yummy. Anyone have any idea who he is?

photo.JPG


 
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'neady
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 1:59 PM 

Is her version also an abusive sadist?

 
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(Login Victoriabitter)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 1:59 PM 

No idea who that is, although he does look familiar.

I was thinking someone more along the lines of Christian Bale for the Grey character. Whoever it is, I can almost guarantee that since the book was LAME, the movie will be even worse.

 
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Tr00!
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 2:13 PM 

He kind of looks like one of the stars of the Vampire Diaries.

 
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(Login SquiddyBoy)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 2:13 PM 

I was thinking a less emaciated Jim Caveezil or however you spell that dude's name.

 
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(Login Victoriabitter)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 2:14 PM 

Yeah, that would work, too.

 
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(Login SquiddyBoy)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 2:18 PM 

Maybe a darker version of Brendan Flowers too maybe.

 
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Arwen
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 19 2012, 9:10 PM 

I just saw a commercial for Person of Interest. You may be on to something there, Squid. Nice.

 
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AnonoPajama
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 1:35 PM 

[linked image]

 
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AnonoPajama
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 2:14 PM 

Is this thing on?

[linked image]
[linked image]

 
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Louise
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 2:26 PM 

These are some of the funniest reviews that I've read:

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

 
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'neady
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 2:31 PM 

I read all of those yesterday. I find her a kindrid spirit for using the right gifs at the appropriate time happy.gif

 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 2:36 PM 

That was a fantastic review. Brilliant gif usage, I agree. This one pretty much summed up me reading it as well.

[linked image]

 
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(Login SquiddyBoy)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 2:40 PM 

HA! First thing I thought was, "I hope 'Neady is grabbing some of these!"

My favs were the Pee Wee one, and the Rocky Horror one

 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 2:46 PM 

I saw one of my all time favorites, the Prince one in there too.

 
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(Login Tamrahh)

Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 2:54 PM 

I read all three of these books. They were kind of engaging as far as what Jo said - kidnappings, rescues, the character's motives, etc. But the sex scenes got really repetitive and from what I've seen of S & M (which admittedly is only some browsing online) these scenes were tame. It was kind of like meanyism rather than sadism.

 
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(Login AnnyBoo)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 2:57 PM 

Snorf @ "meanyism" hahaha!





 
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(Login SquiddyBoy)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 3:15 PM 

S&M for Tam is making her husband look at her feet.

He shouts, "SHOW ME AGAIN! SHOW ME AGAIN!" until he finally can't take it any more and shouts their safe word, "Dr. Scholls! DOCTOR SCHOLLS!"

 
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(Login Tamrahh)

Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 3:16 PM 

Shuttie or I'll post them.

 
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(Login AnnyBoo)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 3:20 PM 

HA! @ Squid!





 
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(Login Cuppajo)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 20 2012, 4:59 PM 

omg wayback Tamfoot visual!

 
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Anne
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

July 22 2012, 2:11 AM 

That guy Arwen posted is Matt Bomer who would make perfect a Christian Grey - even more so in this pic -

[linked image]

I like this girl for Anna- I don't watch Pretty Little Liars but her name is Ashley Benson.

[linked image]

I read the book and eh..I looked forward to reading it every time I got the chance but after I finished the book I'm not dying to know what happens in the next books. Maybe..but I haven't downloaded it yet.

I guess every one in Seattle cocks their head a lot.

SPOILERS:

















I thought they would tie up a lot of loose ends in the 1st book which never got finished. Why don't we ever find out what Christians company does exactly? It has something to do with aid to Afica or whatever but is something shady about his business the way he is always having weird business phone conversations?

Why didn't they go into the back-story of Mrs. Robinson and their relationship and his real parent's more?



Maybe these are described more in the 2nd and 3rd books? Can someone that read the next two give me a clue if they talk about more of this stuff?





 
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(Login chicaguayaca)
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

October 18 2012, 3:49 PM 

I read just the first 10 chapters or so and found them to be so unbearably lame. But found this today and made me laugh...and eww

heh 29 people caught reading fifty shades of grey in public:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjefferson/29-people-caught-reading-fifty-shades-of-grey-in


 
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Ginny
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

October 18 2012, 3:53 PM 

I loved that, Xica.

 
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'neady
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Re: 50 Shades of Grey

October 18 2012, 4:11 PM 

I'm so glad you girls aren't fans. I don't want to judge you.

 
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