I'm not sure if any of these are funny but trying to plan a wedding in a teeny, tiny small town has been very challenging to say the least. My florist doesn't own a computer because she "don't care for those things" so I had to print out photos of my ideas/wants and mail her an effing package. Then she's going to fax me a quote sometime before, oh, the wedding day.
These are our RSVP cards: (excuse the crude scan - they're actually really pretty)
I've already gotten a few that don't have any names written in. Just a yes or a no and something like "can't wait!!" I put our address on the front and back of the envelope since they were dark gray and I used white ink but I thought this would be self-explanatory. So now I'll have to write ??? WHO CAN'T FOLLOW DIRECTIONS on a few place cards.
Then there's the bride brain thing I talked about last week. The dress shop lady who told me my dress would look better if my stomach was smaller. Thanks, bitch! And my farmer's tan. Everything is coming along nicely! Heh.
I've done the booth spray tan a few times but that last time I was a streaky, orange mess and found out the next day the booth had malfunctioned. Awesome. I was going to try the new BB lotions or else get sprayed by a person who can do it right.
I want a table-scape type of centerpiece with purple & white flowers, moss, tree slices and mason jars with river rocks and candles. I'm also adding a little glam suprise but I'll wait to show pictures of that later. I have tons of photos at home that I can show later.
And thanks! I worked really hard on the inviations and was super happy with how they turned out. I'll scan the whole thing tonight and show you.
I've only done the booth spray tan a few times but it always came out good. If you use the cream self tanner just make sure to either wear gloves or scrub the shit out of your palms afterwards, or you'll end up look like you just tugged off an oompa loompa.
Nice original RSVP form. I thought one of the bad things about spray tans is that they actually appear to change colors under different lights. That's why people come out more orange-looking in photographs, because at the moment they are photographed they are under the spectrum-altering effect of the photographers' flash bulb. If this is true, the spray tan would be risky as there would be quite a few flash bulbs at the wedding. Would getting a natural tan be an option?
As for the tan, go to a high-end salon and get the exfoliating treatment followed by the tanner. Hell, just have a ridiculous day of beauty. You're already spending a lot of money on the wedding, so you should feel your best.
I've been on a wedding kick lately. No immediate plans but I have notified Guitar Boy that I am planning a wedding that I don't anticipate having any time soon, just in case he stumbles across my browsing history.
My top dress picks
I like this one but I don't think it would look good on me. It's the dress from Breaking Dawn.
Haha, Deej! I really like the invitations. Very original.
One time (one summer) I had two weddings to attend and it was my first year I ever went tanning. I decided to throw a spray tan on top of my booth tan the night before one of the weddings. I did it all wrong. I didn't bend my fingers or my knees so my knuckle wrinkles were much lighter. I ended up looking like I rolled in Cheeto dust when it was all said and done.
I went home and had myself a rubbing alcohol bath with cotton balls to try and tone it down.
The next day we arrived at the wedding and B's friends wasted no time complimenting my "healthy glow". I told them to shut it and I didn't want to talk about it.
DEEJ, everything is glorious. the colors, the funny, the homemade invites, the hair, EVERYTHING! It's going to be so beautiful! Congratulations to you and Whitey. Maybe you can Skype it to the tree house?
Thanks, you guys! Despite the stress and bullshit I am having a good time and hope everything goes off without a hitch. And if and when it doesn't, whitey and I will use our own twisted brand of humor to get through it. That and a metric ton of chocolate.