I rarely can't sleep. I am pretty much always sleep deprived, so whenever I do eventually lay down, I'm usually out pretty quick.
When I was a kid and couldn't sleep, I'd go and drink a glass of milk. I convinced myself that drinking milk would put me to sleep and it almost always worked. I think it was mostly just a placebo affect though.
Yes fridge pizza. I was a countertop leftover pizza person until I married a germaphobe, now Ive embraced the cold pizza. It kinda tasted like more, but is there anything worse for you then eating in the middle of the night?
I have always said things like that. So glad I don't have to give birth! So glad I don't have to have periods! Won't have menopause!
Recently though, I realized why it's worth it.
When it comes to kids, no matter how cool a Dad I will ever be, no matter what I do - in the middle of the night when they're running into our room in terror from a nightmare, when they slam their hand in the door and run in for love and a kiss on the boo-boo they always, 100% of the time will forever say...
And they will run right to her if we're standing side-by-side.
And that's something that makes the other stuff worth it in my mind. They love me and blah blah - but I am 100% jealous of that.
When I cant't sleep, it's usually because my brain is overloaded with stuff to think about, so I play a little game with myself to get it cleared. It's basically solo scattergories. I think of a topic (desserts, us history, objects in the room, things having to do with cars...whatever). Then I go through the alphabet and think of something from that category for each letter. I usually fall asleep around j or k.
I sleep like a cat, in small bursts, which makes me a very tired girl during the week when I can't take my naps. I usually get up and go out to the couch, turn on the TV and fall asleep watching a re-run of Rosanne or some horrible Lifetime movie of a battered woman or disgruntled teen. Puts me right out.
Man. My head hits the pillow and I'm out. I can fall asleep in 30 seconds. The only thing that wakes me up are children and the occasional nightmare. The nightmares are almost always about zombies. So are my best dreams too.
Whitey, that makes me think of that new book called Go the Fuck to Sleep that looks like a kid book, but really it's for grown ups. It's about trying to put a difficult kid to bed and it is hilarious. Somewhere on the great wide internets is a narration by Samuel L Jackson. I'd post it, but I'm posting from my phone. Anyone wanna help a sista out?
"I don't really know, but I suspect the addition of nuts." - Squid